To ask for successful breastfeeding stories when things didn't work out the first time

[Candyfloss1122]

I have a 10 month old DD who has been formula fed since a few days old. I had planned to breast feed her, but I have completely flat nipples, and I just couldn't get her to latch, it was very distressing. I didn't feel supported at all in the hospital, nobody even mentioned nipple sheilds, so after a couple of days of expressing and producing more blood than milk I reluctantly gave her formula.

Ds is due at the beginning of April, I would love to breast feed him, but I'm worried that my "equipment" just isn't up to scratch and I will never successfully breast feed.

Any positive stories out there in a similar situation? Thanks!

Struggled massively and gave up with DS but managed fine with DD. For me the differences were
Being more pushy about help from HV
We gave 1 bottle feed per day of formula at the start which we were able to give up as I got in my stride
Did biological nurturing second time round
C section with second meant I had to take it easy and get help in so didn't push myself too much
Had more realistic expectations
Box sets of DVDs for feeding times along with drinks and snacks made it more pleasant!

OP, you sound exactly like me. I have flat nipples & DS1 wouldn’t latch, the midwifes wouldn’t help me & said I’d have to stay in until bf was established & after a hard labour I crumbled & gave formula from day 2, tried at home but he just wouldn’t latch. In hindsight he probably had tongue tie. I was so so upset.

With DS2 it was a completely different experience. He latched straight away & we had no pain or anything but he was feeding constantly so got his TT cut at 10 days old & still feeding now at 4 months. He’s never had a drop of formula & wont take a bottle.

Every bf journey is different & I’m convinced it’s down to the baby. I did get a lactation consultant out this time & pay for private TT cutting as I was much more determined & I do wish I would have “tried harder” first time round but I was in a completely different situation (living with parents) & I’m trying to have no regrets.

I do still feed a little guilty that DS1 wasn’t breastfed though so when I express I give him the milk mixed with cows milk (he doesn’t like it so have to hide it ). I figure it’s a little something I can do (he’s 2).

Get private help if you can & I wish you all the best. Congratulations

I have flat nipples too
Fed first on nipple shields for 20 months
Second also latches straight after birth and fed like a dream without them - she just seemed to have a stronger suck/different shaped mouth. And I guess feeding the first on nipple shields also changed my nipple shape a bit.

So don’t give up - use nipple shields and express! And even the flatest nipple can feed that way.

Same, I had completely flat nipples and DS refused to ever latch. Mine stayed flat in the cold, they were flat flat.
My mother in law told me than in her country, they are told to pull (gently) on their nipples once a day during pregnancy to harden them up for feeding. I did this a little but not religiously.
Anyway, my DD was just a better feeer and latched onto my flat nipples straight away. Within a day or two, they just weren't flat anymore. Fed her until 18 months so don't worry

Thank you so much to everyone that has taken the time to share their stories, it has made me feel really positive that I might have more success this time :)
I will be taking note of all the advice, so that I am much better prepared than the first time round.
Thanks again!

I breastfed DC1 for two torturous weeks, literally screaming in pain with every feed at the end. I switched to formula but ended up with a huge amount of sadness and guilt.

When I was pregnant with DC2 I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and went to a local support group with trained advisers, who added me to a Facebook group. When it all started going wrong (severe tongue tie that couldn't be fixed because of thrush, plus thrush on my nipples and mastitis) I already had access to support from people I knew, in real life at the group and in the middle of the night on Facebook. They were the ones who actually figured out my baby had tongue tie when the midwife had missed it, they showed me how to handle feeding in the meantime and they helped me sort out the thrush when the clueless GP didn't. Support was the most important thing.

With DC1 I was also told after 6 weeks it would magically get easier, but when each feed was agony 6 weeks felt like a million years and impossible to achieve. With DC2 I took it one feed at a time, promising myself I'd get through one more feed, and then the next one. We're still going at 15 months!

I know my issues are different to yours, but I hope you can get them resolved and go on to breastfeed your baby if you want to. This second attempt has been very healing, as I now realise that I really did all I could at the time first time around and I've finally stopped beating myself up.

I had to double check that I didn't accidentally post in my sleep because this could have been written by me! I fed DD2 with the help of nipple shields, they really made a difference, yet no midwife mentioned them to me the first time round, it was a friend who advised me with DD2.

Also, DD2 was really laid back, she was happy to wait while I faffed around getting the shields on and getting her in the correct position, while DD1 would scream her head off if she did not get to feed immediately, she got quite angry with all the attempts to get her to latch on, so that was making me extra nervous. Different baby, different temperament!

DD2 also was happy to mix feed, she did not really care if she had milk from the breast, expressed milk in a bottle or formula in a bottle. So we used whatever method was best at that particular time, she does not seem to have suffered because of it!

I think it is great you are considering trying again the 2nd time, just give it a go but don't sweat it if it does not work out. Your baby will be fed, no matter how that happens!

I also find that the midwife / HV has a bearing on things. My first one was quite brutal, just suck it up and told me off for using shields and the formula I had in the cupboard.

Second time round i was more confident and knew what I wanted and made a plan based on my previous experience which I felt would work for me and it really did. Then when I asked for help, it was to support my plan and not for me to be told what to do.

@MargaretCabbage I had the whole screaming in pain experience too which is what made me try the shields in the first place. DC was scraping his hard little gums on my nipple and it was agonising! Shields and formula gave me time to adjust and for his mouth to get big enough that he didn't hurt me while feeding. He also has a mild tongue tie which I opted to leave in place as it didn't seem to interfere a huge amount once his mouth got bigger.