One of our wedding guests has died

[MrsMaxwell]

My DH is in the forces, so I haven’t met a lot of his friends.

One of his close friends came to our wedding 4 weeks ago with his new fiancé, tonight DH has gone back to base and his friends brother has posted on FB that he has died from Pneumonia .

We have no contact details for his fiancé and have sent all our thank you cards out today and included wedding photos in our cards - what should we do?

Lucky them

Off topic but the misconception irritates me. The forces do plenty of other things apart from killing people and fighting in wars.

Still away from their families but more constructive.

My husbands been to war 7 times. Whether it was constructive or not depends on your view. Posters obviously assumed as your husband is a soldier then he will have dealt with conflict. Not everyone understands how the military works. You seen extremely angry.

I said he was in the forces.

Not at all angry.

Deliberately left out a lot of identifying details in my OP to have loads of poster make huge (incorrect) assumptions and tell me to get it deleted because based on their assumptions I might be identified!

Oh god some of the people on here....

I'm really sorry your husband has lost his friend. Don't worry yourself about the thank you card. Send a condolences card. The thank you card may serve to remind his fiancé of a really great day they had together. It's extremely sad but perhaps it'll help to have a happy memory at this time. Who knows?

As for the best man thing - I really don't understand why some people on here feel the need to bring up something that has already happened and you can do absolutely nothing about. Yes, he may feel guilt over this. All you can do is support him. You had your reasons and your husband still married you so I can't see that he would blame you. Don't beat yourself up over this and don't let strangers make you feel bad about it either. I assume you posted for words of support. Please ignore anything else. X

Thank you Loopy that’s a lovely message

If you've sent the thank you card then don't you have the address to send the condolence card to?

And as a matter of interest, why did you get to decide who was best man? Isn't that your DHs job as it's meant to be his friend or someone he chooses?

They don’t live together.

He did choose - he chose his brother, they fell out 3 weeks before and his brother didn’t come to the wedding.

DH does not have a lot of close friends so we have a discussion about who would be “suitable” as we are both of the thinking that not everyone is “best man” material and who would also be able to support DH and produce a half decent speech at short notice.