Why do some people feel the need to describe themselves as ‘middle class’?

[lottieandmia22]

I met a man who said

‘I am incredibly lucky. I’m a middle class, white, straight male which puts me at an advantage’

Frankly, this made my teeth itch. I thought ‘what a tosser’

Why do people feel the need to do this? I couldn’t care less which class I am.

I am middle class. It's a statement of fact. My parents both had well paid jobs, I grew up in a detached house in the Lake District, NT members etc

It's not a boast. I just find it utterly ridiculous when my sister harps on about working class roots when we had such a manifestly privileged upbringing. My parents insist they aren't rich when they own two houses.

The BBC class calculator really annoys me because it doesn't take family background into account. It had me as the second lowest class financially for years based on my starter salary, ignoring my prospects including potential inheritance. I think it's really warped and insulting to people who will have no automatic advantages in life to ignore the fact that I was degree educated,and the fact I'm likely to be on the receiving end of several hundreds of thousands of pounds in my life. Now I have saved and climbed a few rungs up to my parents 'level' - Established Middle Class. It's ignorant to suggest I would have done otherwise though.

I mean, I like to think there's a lot more going for me than my origin, but I don't bother to deny it.

'But OP you sound like you don't like middle class people or people who identify as middle class at all, so maybe state in your dating profile "Only interested in men from the working class" or something like that. Then neither of you have to waste any time.'

That's rubbish. Some people would say I have markers about me that are MC and my ex husband came from a typical MC background but he never said it! although I'd say I'm WC. My job certainly is.

It wouldn't matter what job I did-or what I earned- I would still be middle class!

But he didn't say he was better than you! That is your interpretation.

What he said is true. So he probably had a lucky escape from you! It really does say more about you than him that it had such an impact on you.

And it is you who is looking down on him, being snarky about his job.

No idea what class I am. I is foreign so don't go in for all that.

Nouveau riche?

None of it makes much sense anymore. The traditional working class has been comprehensibly dismantled. Middle class is defined on here by virtually anything you like; income, education, what your parents did, food tastes, cultural preferences.

I grew up in a working class background. I just did that BBC quiz thing and got elite. According to lots of people I'm still working class because that's my background. However, it feels totally ridiculous to claim affinity with the working class given my circumstances. Even if working class as I understand it still exists.

It's time we all moved on. Mind you, the BBC classification is far from catchy and intuitive, so someone out there needs to try a bit harder.

I haven't been snarky about his job! I knew nothing about it until people told me on here.

Hoolio how do you know what he says was true?

I don't have an inferiority complex. I just find it cringeworthy. Same as people who (in real life) say 'I earn £80k'

So, is class determined by

1. Your job?
2. Your parents job?
3. Your school?
4. How much you earn?
5. Whether you're a homeowner?

Or all of the above? Because I'm confused...

I did assume his job is high earning though

The problem is, a lot of people determine it by how they feel. Ie, they feel a bit posher than the next person, therefore they must be a higher class than them. It's all a load of nonsense.

A lot of people think class is terribly important and instill it into their children, but I really do feel it's very outdated. After all do we have many hyacinth bouquet's any more?

His job being ‘high-earning’ is a bit debatable depending on what you consider to be a lot. Doesn’t sound like it to me.

But class would be defined by just about everything in the UK: parents, education, job, house and decoration, holidays, schools, clothes, where you shop etc etc

And if you think other countries don't have class systems, you have obviously never spent much time in France or heard posh Americans talking about Trump.

So you want to date middle class men who don't think they're middle class?

"After all do we have many hyacinth bouquet's any more?"
Yep. Loads.

No, I don't care what class anyone is. What bothers me is them devoting loads of brain cells to it. Or using it to convince me they are of high dating value. Much like the men who use photos of their beautiful exes. 'Pick me, I'm above the next person'

I still want to know how it came up!

I've never had anyone tell me what class they are and I'm quite old. MN is obsessed with class

I've tried to remember the exact conversation Bertrand. He was talking about a rift with his sister which moved onto a conversation about Trump and then him saying the MC thing in relation to another comment about how he's lucky not to be affected by Tory policy.

Bertrand, I lived in the States and largely surrounded by old money WASPs. I didn’t find the class system nearly as grating as it was mostly money-based and no one made a point of having a different accent or many other class markers that are very much at play in the UK.

I don't see the issue. There is nothing wrong with being middle class. It's not some form of weird boast. There is nothing wrong with being working class. That's also not some form of weird boast. There is nothing wrong with understanding or stating which class you belong to based on rhe appropriate conversation.

He sounds like he understands the privalage that white middle class Male can bring. Good for him. He declared himself "lucky". He's done nothing wrong, he's simoly shown self understanding and understanding of the wider world.

If the conversation was about Tory policy I suspect there is an element of this convo you're not revealing, which is your views on Tory policy and possibly the negative impacts on the working class that you perceive , which resulted in him saying "I'm lucky, blah blah blah". He possibly felt judged by you. Which to be fair was true you were judging him and still are.

You're clearly not suited to one another. In future date men who you perceive as working class and dislike the tories and you will not face the issue of having to spend an evening with someone who understands they are middle class.

Eh? Sounds much more like he's an old-fashioned lefty, not a Tory! And the idea that the middle class vote Tory and the working class vote labour belongs back in about 1925 anyway!

He’s definitely not a Tory but that’s not the point