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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why do some people feel the need to describe themselves as ‘middle class’?

432 replies

lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 21:56

I met a man who said

‘I am incredibly lucky. I’m a middle class, white, straight male which puts me at an advantage’

Frankly, this made my teeth itch. I thought ‘what a tosser’

Why do people feel the need to do this? I couldn’t care less which class I am.

OP posts:
Worriedrose · 17/12/2017 23:19

Sorry but he's right
He's white , male and middle class
Of course he's got an advantage
Perhaps he was saying it in humitly
Clutching at straws

holidayparkquestion · 17/12/2017 23:19

From playing with it I hink those hobbies get a middle class type descriptor but if you have a good income/savings/house worth a bit it gets bumped up to Elite.

with house prices as they are that's probably half of the owners in London!!

Original poster
lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 23:23

Well who would be comfortable being beaten up by their family no matter how well off they were?

Whether he's right or not is beside the point really. Do you blurt our every true thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 23:24

Disclaimer, since I'm autistic I tend to have a literal interpretation of language!

OP posts:
Growingboys · 17/12/2017 23:24

Hang on OP are you saying abuse doesn't happen to middle class families?

Are you sure about this???

ButchyRestingFace · 17/12/2017 23:24

From playing with it I hink those hobbies get a middle class type descriptor but if you have a good income/savings/house worth a bit it gets bumped up to Elite.

My income is middling; I’m a home owner but property valued at under £125k. I have decent “savings” in the bank but this is an inheritance, not anything I’ve saved myself, and far from an amount you could retire on.

And yet I’m “elite”. I now want an “elite” salary to reflect this! Grin

jocktamsonsbairn · 17/12/2017 23:26

Would put me off on a first date! Mi was born middle class - teacher and engineer parents. Fab childhood. Married an arse. Now working class even though I'm a teacher because I am a single parent with zero support from ex. My earnings have not risen with inflation and I bring home less money than my friend who work 2-3 days in shops. I have zero disposable income and my kids have definitely got a 'working class' background. Have to say we are happy and they are having a great childhood like that did (apart from the absent father). So... it's all a pile of crap basically isn't it?!!

Tippz · 17/12/2017 23:26

If you feel the need to tell people that you're middle class; you're NOT.

ButchyRestingFace · 17/12/2017 23:26

Well who would be comfortable being beaten up by their family no matter how well off they were?

That’s not what “comfortable” means in the context described.

Btw, was he telling you about an abusive family on a first date??

holidayparkquestion · 17/12/2017 23:27

I suspect it will be the savings and income then? Have a play with it changing those variables for lower income and no savings (and of course it's just the BBC survey viewpoint not some actual arbiter of all things class related!)

Original poster
lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 23:27

Yes he did tell me about the abuse. I have a great way of attracting People You Shouldn't Go Out With.

OP posts:
PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 23:30

Sounds like he’s aware of his own privilege, which if he is a white, healthy, middle class man is pretty high. I’d think he was self aware and like it. Few people with privilege are conscious of the extent of it.

Class in this country is based on lots of things, some are financial, others are cultural. There’s no brilliant formula for working it out, even from academia. But education level, job role, education and job of your parents, income, accent, tastes and preferences all play a part. Class also definitely hasn’t gone away, as some people like to assert.

One thing we DO know is that people in this country tend to be really bad at guessing where they fall in income stratification of the country. This calculator from the Institute if Fiscal Studies is really interesting to see where your household fits in. I’ve got a few people to do it and they’ve all been shocked. Worth having a go:

www.ifs.org.uk/wheredoyoufitin/

Original poster
lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 23:30

I think it's a system designed so that people can look down on other people.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 17/12/2017 23:31

Well, abuse knows no bounds. Not a class thing at all.

Original poster
lottieandmia22 · 17/12/2017 23:33

Yes of course - I was taking the term comfortable literally sorry

OP posts:
holidayparkquestion · 17/12/2017 23:35

Paperdoll I'm always shocked! But probably opposite direction. One income professional household but 75% households better off than us apparently!!

PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 23:40

holidaypark do you have several dependents? That will bring it down. It’s not just money coming in but how far it’s spread

holidayparkquestion · 17/12/2017 23:42

2 kids. We do okay though. I think 2 incomes has just become the norm.

PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 23:46

I think it is really helpful for people to understand what others live on to get a sense of the world, so many have no clue (like all the people here suggesting everyone just get a cleaner)

Middleoftheroad · 17/12/2017 23:48

Also, guessing that a high council tax will bring it down (as a massive outgoing)

BackforGood · 17/12/2017 23:50

Like others have said, this does depend on what you were talking about / how the conversation was going.
It sounds like you covered a lot of ground, beyond what people normally chat about when they first meet someone - but then 'first date' seems to mean different things to different people nowadays, in terms of having lots of communication before meeting in some cases.
If he were acknowledging that his life had been a lot easier than many other people's lives in so many ways, then yes, 'middle class' is short hand for 'coming from the type of home where....' then listing dozens of things he could shorten into 'middle class'.

Whenever I've heard it used, other than on MN, people seem to have a similar idea of what it suggests. It isn't only related to money or only related to education, or only related to employment - they are all a part of it, but it is a lot to do with values and expectations too, IMO.
On MN, I've generally noticed people are in a rush to be seen as not being middle class.

PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 23:51

Council tax also indicates where you live tsome extent. I don’t think council tax is really a massive outgoing. A bigger one but nothing co

PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 23:54

Sorry phone on blink
Council tax is a big expense but is it massive?

abouttimeforanotherone · 17/12/2017 23:57

He has quite a high opinion of himself doesn't he? What a catch Grin

BoraBoraBora · 17/12/2017 23:57

I don’ think there’s anything wrong with what he said, it all depends on the context.

Scene 1
OP -
Statistics show BMEs are more likely to be unemployed and be victims of violence. Women are daily marginalised in the work place and deserve every help and encouragement to move up the career ladder.

Op’s man - “I am incredibly lucky. I’m a middle class, white, straight male which puts me at an advantage’. = Good, recognises his privilege.

Scene 2

OP - “Hello! I’m Lottie, how are you?
Man - “I am incredibly lucky. I’m a middle class, white, straight male which puts me at an advantage”’ = Knobhead.