To be gutted DM chose boyfriend over me?

[furryous]

I've moved out and there is a massive history of gaslighting. Her bf is pervy and has felt me up twice in the 6mths they've known eachother, I've told her and she's denied it even though it was right in front of her. Now she's telling me that he's spending xmas with us and she 'already told me'. I will not spend xmas with this perv so I'm facing spending it alone. The reason I moved out was my DB moved back in and she was giving me shit for everything yet letting him get away with everything. For clarity she owes me 10k+. I tried to support her and feel like she's just thrown it back in my face. Sorry if this makes no sense I'm writing it in tears

It's not you. It's them. Christmas is one day. But this is your whole life. Can you access some counselling? Does this situation give you dektessio. It anxiety? If so, speak to your GP.

Depression or anxiety I mean.

Italiangreyhound both. I've had counselling and the consensus was that DM and I are codependent. Makes sense as to why it hurts so much. I've just spoken to her on the phone and she's not changing her mind, again denied her bloke groped me twice (right in front of her) so I need to cut her loose

I'm so sorry furryous. Stay strong, it gets easier

Yes you do need to cut her loose. Talking to her is affecting your mental health, so don't speak to her again. She's not going to change and agree with you however much you wish she would.

Have you heard of the narcissistic mother OP? The scapegoat/golden child dynamic?

It sounds like you've been made the scapegoat in your family. You need to know that is a role that was assigned to you from a very young age, it doesn't reflect anything about you as an individual human being. It only reflects the sickness of the adults who did this to you.

It's just another day. You're better off in pj's with hot chocolate watching Netflix on your own. it does get easier.

Well I've embraced Xmas on my own. Got some lovely food in and chilling with Netflix. No arguments, no dramas.

Told DM I wasn't coming a few days ago and she took it in stride, we spoke on the phone everyday inc yesterday. All fine. Today I texted her merry Christmas and her phone is off. Not sure if it's a passive aggressive fuck you or she's just having too much fun without me. Says a lot though. I'm more resolved than sad although it does sting a bit that she hasn't even texted.

I am looking forward to an xmas alone, i really want to go help at a drop in center.
Or go away to somewhere and meet new people.
Funny how some see it as being alone and some see it as freedom.

Stay strong furryous! Just remember you saved yourself from a tortuous day with them! Eat, drink, be merry and watch telly!! Xx

Well done *furryous'. Netflix and tasty grub - sounds like a great day.

Best wishes to you for 2018!