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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 year old left on the bus

443 replies

Huskylover1 · 15/12/2017 20:22

Just heard about this on the news.

A 4 year old boy, gets the bus home from school. He misses his stop. Doesn't alert the driver. Driver gets back to the depot and parks up the bus and leaves. Bus driver has now been sacked for this.

In my book, a 4 year old, is way too young to get the bus home. Especially as there was no parent waiting at the bus stop even! Had there been, the parent would have alerted the bus driver that their son was on board, and needed to get off. Usually, this boy makes his own way home from the bus stop, lets himself in, and his parents arrive home from work, shortly thereafter.

Cue lots of moaning by the parents, that they've been let down. No mention from anyone, that perhaps this little boy shouldn't be making this journey alone.

I just can't fathom, how any parent can thinks it's good judgement to let a 4 year old:

  • identify the right school bus to get on
  • realise when he needs to get off
  • walk from the bus stop to home, and let himself in

Bonkers!

OP posts:
southboundagain · 15/12/2017 21:19

Exactly, I'm with seeingadistance here.

Original poster
Huskylover1 · 15/12/2017 21:21

however schools do not take their part, they do not escort pupils to the bus, they do not inform the bus if anyone is missing, they do not dismiss children on time, they do not ensure all bus children are on the bus

My kids primary was the same. No way would I have risked them using it.

imo a child of 4 should not be getting a bus and walking home alone after that, no matter whether he's in a large city or small rural area. It's just too young.

OP posts:
Mumof56 · 15/12/2017 21:21

The children get off the bus, walk a few steps, open the door and go in.Or they might have to ring the doorbell and wait for a parent to let them in!

My 4 year old can't reach the bell or the keyhole. He doesn't have his own key yet to come and go as he pleases.

I doubt many 4 year olds do.

crunchymint · 15/12/2017 21:21

DP used to go to school in this situation. His mum could see the minibus coming and come out of the house to meet it. No need to stand outside at all.

I am laughing at the frothing here.

Seeingadistance · 15/12/2017 21:21

@Mumof56

Do your children get a school bus which collects them and drops them off at home?

Why do you feel you have to stand outside in the cold waiting for them to get off a bus which - assuming the driver does his job - will stop right in front of you?

I know a few people whose children get school buses like this, and not one of them waits outside for their children to get off the bus.

caoraich · 15/12/2017 21:22

Summerisdone yes- exactly.

The idea that Inverness is a CITY therefore the bus thing is abnormal is cute and kind of funny. Inverness has a population smaller than Canterbury spread over a much larger area. Inverness is about as rural as cities go. I was once walking a colleague from Edinburgh around the centre and she asked, quite genuinely "when will we get into the city limits, though?"

I was brought up in a "town" nearby in the 90s and this situation was entirely normal. A bus collected the ten or so of us who lived over a mile from school and dropped us all off literally outside our front doors. For my dad to be "at the bus stop" he'd have had to be hanging about in our front garden. The bus driver and I always had an entertaining mock hunt for anyone hiding under the seats when he dropped me off, as I was the last one on the route. Obviously this was his way of doing his job properly, ensuring no children were left behind.

southboundagain · 15/12/2017 21:22

"walking home alone"

It's not really the same as walking home alone when you get out of a minibus in front of your house, walk up the path and ring the doorbell.

Seeingadistance · 15/12/2017 21:23

Doorbells can be lowered, so that a 4 year old can reach them. I'd do that rather than stand about in the cold waiting for a bus that can be delayed due to bad weather, roadworks etc.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 15/12/2017 21:23

@WooWooSister - At the end of the lane? In the dark? And the cold? With all the ice? How on earth do you know parents can see their child from their front door? Presumably not everyone can.

pisacake · 15/12/2017 21:23

the interview is here www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09j0tvj

@ 9:35

Dad says boy normally home at 3:40pm but because of snow might be delayed till 4.
Mum arrived home at 4:10 and at that point calls bus company
Dad says he called bus company and they said he had been dropped off at home, but he was there so that was obviously bollocks.

Op is talking utter shite.

Dad was waiting at home long before hand. Mum gets in shortly after son.

Abra1d · 15/12/2017 21:23

My children went on the school bus from five. Very common in rural areas

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 15/12/2017 21:23

At my DC's school below yr 6, they aren't even allowed out of the school gates without the adult who's supposed to be picking them up. While this can be a pain in the arse, and I have to turn up to literally walk DD through the gates, then shout, "BYE!" as she disappears off to her playscheme, a 4yo should definitely not be allowed to leave school on their own. Xmas Sad

frieda909 · 15/12/2017 21:24

however, no word on whether he was responsible for ensuring children get off at right stop

There was no ‘stop’. The bus was meant to drop him at home but the driver did not even go down his street.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 15/12/2017 21:24

All those saying parent should have waited at the bus stop, do you get that there is no bus stop? This isn't a route the bus or coach travels every day, it's more like a taxi service and that days "route" depends on where the passengers need to be dropped off. There's no reason for the parent to wait out in the snow when they can watch for the bus from their house. Being one side of the front door or the other makes no difference here, what are people not getting? Or are some of just determined to find neglect where there's no evidence of it?

Mumof56 · 15/12/2017 21:25

Do your children get a school bus which collects them and drops them off at home?

Yes

Why do you feel you have to stand outside in the cold waiting for them to get off a bus which - assuming the driver does his job - will stop right in front of you?

Because they are 4.
Because if they are not here when they should be, I can call the driver to see what's up.
Because they don't have their own key and can't reach the bell.
Especially if it's only their 5th day taking the bus

But mostly because they are 4

crunchymint · 15/12/2017 21:25

Inverness is not a big City. And the school isn't even in Inverness but in a village.

pisacake · 15/12/2017 21:25

Dad also says he can see the bus stopping from the window of his house. He didn't see it that day, so he thought the boy had been dropped off in the wrong place.

iboughtsnowboots · 15/12/2017 21:26

I grew up in a rural Scottish location and took the bus from the age of four, it wasn't even a bus just for children but combined with a local service. There was no bus stop and no one ever waited for their dc after day 1. The bus driver should have checked his bus. Everything else seems pretty normal.

On a side note Inverness is a very small city 😏

Abra1d · 15/12/2017 21:27

Our primary school always escorted the children on and off the bus and rang if there were delays. It was a good system.

crunchymint · 15/12/2017 21:29

This thread is full of people making shit up and/or who have no idea what an under populated rural area is actually like.

Where DP was brought up you can hear any vehicle that turns into the lane leading to the house before it actually gets there.

pisacake · 15/12/2017 21:29

it hasn't got anything to do with Inverness. It was a bus from Munlochy (pop. 2400) to North Kessock (pop. 900) , about 4 miles, on a private chartered minibus.

frieda909 · 15/12/2017 21:30

Well done pisacake (not that half the people here will listen, to you or the interview.

All those saying parent should have waited at the bus stop, do you get that there is no bus stop?

CantSleep I’ve said that at least four times now but no one wants a few lousy facts to get in the way of their outrage.

crunchymint · 15/12/2017 21:30

pisacake So what I thought. The bus went different routes depending which children were on it.

WooWooSister · 15/12/2017 21:30

At the end of the lane? In the dark? And the cold? With all the ice? How on earth do you know parents can see their child from their front door? Presumably not everyone can.
StepAwayFromGoogle are you serious? Grin
A rural lane isn't the same as a city. It's often open fields on either side. Visibility is good. Villages have street lighting and most homes have outside lighting too. The driver is responsible for the children getting to their parents. They wait until the DC goes into their house before they drive off.
Honestly, why can't posters just admit they have no understanding of living in rural areas rather than trying to justify completely unfounded fears Hmm

AnnieAnoniMouse · 15/12/2017 21:30

I think it’s a shame the bus driver was fired. He’s only human and we all make mistakes, if they hadn’t fired him, he’d be the least likely driver to do this ever again.

If the adults around the child hadn’t made a Big Fat Fuss (within earshot) & made out that he’d done really well & was a total star the little boy wouldn’t be ‘suffering deeply’.

40 minutes is a long time, I’d like to know how many of those were before the Dad phoned the school/bus company.