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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To play Christmas Card Chicken with SIL?

36 replies

Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:07

I have a Christmas card written out to SIL and BIL.

We've posted or hand delivered all the others.

WIBU to leave it on the mantelpiece until either (a) they come round? (b) it gets to the last posting date, and I put it in the post on 21st December? (c) they sneak round and put our card through the letter box when we are out and then I post theirs?

Background - they last came over to ours on Boxing Day last year, meal and stayed over. We called at theirs end of January with a card and flowers for SIL's birthday.

Since then, nada. DH's birthday card through the post, my birthday card through the post. So we posted BIL's birthday card. I know, I know, childish Smile.

OP posts:
chocolatestrawberries · 15/12/2017 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinselistacky · 15/12/2017 10:10

Yanbu to leave it on the mantlepiece.
The realisation that a single bloody stamp costs 65 p is enough to not post it!!

Original poster
Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:11

It's Large Letter Xmas Grin!

OP posts:
Blackteadrinker77 · 15/12/2017 10:11

You're right, childish.

MrTrebus · 15/12/2017 10:13

That's odd are they just dicks or Did you maybe upset them in some way? Have you tried to see/speak to them since January? I'd just post it and not be childish and take the upper hand.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 15/12/2017 10:15

Eh?

Is there something wrong with posting birthday cards now? Confused

What's your problem?

SandAndSea · 15/12/2017 10:16

You could just post it and forget it?

Lots of us have family we don't see much of. Christmas and birthday cards act rather like placeholders - they can keep the relationship going in a positive direction until things get back on track again.

On the other hand, it's fine not to send any but if you've already sent them to everyone else it could cause upset. I would just send it and move on.

Tinselistacky · 15/12/2017 10:16

Did they perhaps get food poisoning last boxing day and are still punishing you!

Original poster
Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:19

It's complicated. They are both dicks, but in different ways.

He's a know-all gobshite and she's an oddball. I don't want to analyse further, it would tip me over the edge.

We have history of not seeing them for months and then being in each others pockets (but they are such hard work).

If we weren't related, I honestly wouldn't bother.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:21

I will post it, to keep the peace.

OP posts:
DeadGood · 15/12/2017 10:22

Seriously though, do you really think that posting a card is an act of passive aggression? Why?

Original poster
Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:26

@DeadGood, yes, they are being passive aggressive. They live 10 minutes away.

Another reason why I'm waiting to see if they call round.

OP posts:
CruCru · 15/12/2017 10:29

Maybe they’re busy? I haven’t had any free days at the weekend since the middle of November.

Sarahjconnor · 15/12/2017 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crunchymint · 15/12/2017 10:32

You are being childish. Maybe they have stuff to deal with that you are unaware of?

curryforbreakfast · 15/12/2017 10:32

yes, they are being passive aggressive. They live 10 minutes away

or maybe they have decided they can't be arsed with you any more?

Original poster
Ninepence · 15/12/2017 10:35

Yes, I am an awful person, that is it!

Thanks for the confirmation, and bye all!

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 15/12/2017 10:40

Well, you think they are awful dicks, it can't be out of the bounds of possibility they think the same about you, can it? Confused

gingerbreadmam · 15/12/2017 10:42

I found this thread quite funny including the title. Play away OP. Go for it.

i also have an idiot SIL

Schlimbesserung · 15/12/2017 10:48

My SIL posts cards to us and she has to pass our house to get to the post box. They live 2 houses away from us!(in a house my husband gave them).
It just makes me chuckle because she is really tight and will HATE having to pay for a stamp, plus I don't want to speak to her anyway. She obviously feels the same.

sirfredfredgeorge · 15/12/2017 10:48

Enjoy your fantasy that you're playing a game with these people who have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, get whatever pleasure you want from it, they're hopefully off enjoying themselves doing other things, or maybe dealing lots of bad things who knows. All we know is they're not prioritising someone who doesn't like them out of some sort of duty - this is good, everyone should do that, the world would be a lot better place.

CaptainChristmas · 15/12/2017 10:50

Well, you just called them dicks and you’re also being bizarrely childish about posting a Christmas card. It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that they find you not to be their cup of tea, is it?

Viviennemary · 15/12/2017 10:51

Just post it now and then it's out the way. I don't get the problem here even if you haven't seen them for nearly a year.

nornironlady · 15/12/2017 10:54

Be the bigger person, just post the card if you normally send one. Life is really too short to hang onto these feelings or let them affect your life. I've had family issues of this sort in the past and I only annoy myself!!! I find taking a step back and not letting those members get to me is the best approach.

Tinselistacky · 15/12/2017 10:55

Maybe post it and forget to put the stamp on?