Boyfriend still married

[formidablescent]

Just checking name change

I've been separated 4 years, not divorced. No plans to. Ex doesn't ask to see the kids but if I divorce him he will then challenge that just to be a dick and I don't want to be dragged through the courts for contact when he doesn't even want to see them really. I'm going to make a will leaving my estate to my children and stating my wish for my parents / sister to have custody should I die. A chat with a solicitor told me that they'd have to go to court to get it but my will and exes lack of involvement would go in their favour should he contest it.

I also have a friend willing to win the lottery should I purchase a lucky ticket and just bankroll my life so Ex can't get any.

I can see both sides to this. Mine took 7 years. My Dp was never happy with this though.

If you have children together whilst still married to someone else, isn't there a legal issue about the ex being presumed to have parental responsibility for the child whilst the unmarried partner gets none? (Def. the case in America, but possibly in the UK too).

My divorce took 5 years from separation. This is because I didn't want a divorce and my exDH possibly thought it'd be less hurtful to me for him to divorce me on the grounds of 5 years separation rather than asking me to consent to or initiate a divorce that (at the time) broke my heart. There were no children involved.
So maybe your BF is being as honourable as my ex?
Caveat - I don't know if divorce processes have changed and it's now possible to divorce someone without their consent after. Shorter period than 5 years.

The implications of remaining married when separated can be quite wide ranging, and not even be obviously apparent. My DB and SIL split up well over 12 years ago. I had no idea they hadn't divorced until earlier this year when chatting with a cousin who sees him regularly. I live overseas, and when our DM passed away almost 8 years ago, most of her sentimental collections, family photograph albums, DM's family's birth and death certificates etc., where kept with my brother for ease. He now lives with his new partner, but due to neither DB or SIL "not being arsed" or whatever, they have never divorced. If we were to loose my DB suddenly, then all that remains of my family's belongings will become property of what should be EXSIL. She could trash the lot before I could have the chance to do anything about this.
A face to face discussion about protecting these will definitely be taking place when I next see him.
A very selfish viewpoint, obviously, but not one which would come to mind at all when you suddenly loose someone close.

Thanks everyone for your experiences. Just to clarify, I am not the poster who pops up regularly asking this, this is the first and only time. I think it is none of my business at the moment, but it would be an issue if we did want to co habit, join finances in any other way, etc. I think on reflection, it just bothers me emotionally, slightly, that he is still married to someone else. It is early days still for us though and it wouldn't be right to express this to him I don't think.

Thanks for everyone who gave their experiences, I know that there can be different reasons, all valid, for not getting divorced. I have to decide whether this is a deal breaker for me, maybe not now, but when