Food shamed!

[bigupapple]

I feel like I’m getting food shamed for eating!
I work 11 hour shifts with a an hour commute each, earlys and lates and nights,
I’m at work more than at home, so excuse me if I eat here!
It’s only one person , seems to hone in on me anytime I’ve got a banana or a sandwich, ooh eating again r we? Hungry already! leave me alone! Is 6 am I’ve been up since 4, I’m 5 months pregnant god for bid I have breakfast?

When does she eat? Everyone eats here, I’m talking a pot of porridge , home made lunch, not a 3 course meal!
She’s really starting to piss me off, she’s not saying it in a funny nice way, normally with a roll of the eyes!
Aibu to tell her to sod off!

I'd go with Mylady's approach. If she does the, 'No, I don't, you just eat a lot.' You reply, 'That's a matter of opinion so please keep yours to yourself.'

I would go for "Because I'm a bitch when I'm hungry, would you like a banana?"

I was once food shamed by an Atkins diet fanatic who subsisted entirely on animal protein because she thinks it's healthy. I'm vegetarian and was eating a vegetable omelet for breakfast. It looked huge, but it was mostly vegetables.

She looked at it in horror and said, "You're not going to eat all that, are you?"

I looked at her huge plate of bacon, sausage, and ham, and said, "How many animals had to die just so you could eat breakfast?"

I'm not a militant veggie, I was just annoyed with her and wanted her to drop the subject. It worked. I think I horrified everyone at the table, most of whom were tucking into their full British breakfasts, but my militant Atkins friend never food shamed me again.

So to shut your colleague up, you might ask her in a tone of deep concern why she seems to have food issues. If you make her self conscious and direct her energy back at her, she'll probably back off.

You could always just act like a grown up and say "Please don't say that every day, it bothers me." Then she gets to do the same and say "You eat really noisily/ leave a big mess". You then both get to address the issue like adults.

It may actually be a response to the way you are eating-do you leave your mouth open or something? Might be worth asking her.

Next time she says it just do that childish reaction of opening your mouth wide and leaning towards her with all your half chewed food on show. It won't achieve much but it will make you laugh!

There's someone at my work who arrives early, spends time preparing her porridge and cup of tea then sits at her desk eating it. Whilst she's technically 'at work' she isn't actually doing any work for about half an hour while she makes her food and eats it.

But you said she arrives early? I start work at 9am but I'm at work for 8.30am every day because I have breakfast and a coffee at my desk. I'm not doing work while I'm there for that half hour but I'm ready to start at 9am, when I'm paid from.

I would just completely ignore her. Say nothing in response and if she makes eye contact when she says it, roll your eyes and look away. She'll soon get the message.

I hate people that do this! She clearly has some obsession or might just be trying to make you feel bad deliberately to make herself feel better.

Honestly? I go direct:

"Fuck off".

Unless she's your manager and then I'd go with:

"Stop mentioning what I eat. It is utterly tedious and inappropriate"

Job done.

I don't eat nosy , I don't have smelly food, I just eat like a normal person as I'm not robotic, and can't function without a daily amount of food and water, I shud be actually eating more, as my midwife would like me to up it up abit, Im just going to say why do you want some next time she mentions it, I told one of the blokes this morning he was like she better not see me have this boost bar then! Lol xx

I'd go with an eye roll, then a hard stare and "what the fuck has it got to do with you?". Or if you want to me more polite "mind your own beeswax".
This is good too"
"Stop mentioning what I eat. It is utterly tedious and inappropriate"

I would drop her an email and say 'I've noticed you make a comment almost every time I am eating on my breaks. Please could you stop as it's starting to make me feel anxious about eating around you, especially as I'm pregnant.'

That way you have written proof that you tried to stop this amicably.

I would record the comments every time she says it and what she said.
Then, I’d ask for a meeting with your line manager/boss and formally give her the record.

The woman, whether she knows it or not, is actually bullying you and making you feel uncomfortable.
You shouldn’t be having to put up with her comments.

Is it only since you’ve been pregnant? Has she lost a baby perhaps? is she jealousyoure pregnant? Couldn’t be lots of reasons. Perhaps she thinks you get special treatment due to pregnancy ?

I don’t know. But she obviously has major issues....not necessarily about food but she is using that as a way of wearing you down.

We had one like this. She had her own issues around food and body image. Put herself under immense pressure in every aspect of her life, must have been exhausting. But it’s not nice when people make comments about what you're eating. No one ever told her bluntly to pack it in as she was quite senior. Looking back I suspect she would actually have been mortified and it would have worked. Hope you get it sorted as it’s very unpleasant day in day out.

I think I'd reply 'yes Brenda. I'm eating again' in a bored tone. And say it every time.

Did this happen before you were pregnant? Unfortunately I found it is one of the tropes people feel compelled to say when you -become public property- start showing a bump.

Is she just jealous because she is over weight?
Happens to me all the time at work.

I'm guessing if you've been told to eat more you're naturally slim and she perhaps has to watch her own weight to avoid it creeping up? Just a hunch but she is probably wondering how you stay slim when you eat a normal amount and feels envious. I could be way off of course but pre turning into a food monster children I was slim and ate like a horse and whatever I ate would be commented on by a couple of bitches ladies I worked with

It depends how much you like her normally.
If you don't like her:
Agree with Spartan.

Document it all.

If you like her:

GO for the more direct approach

I would either keep a note of every time she mentions it over a week. Then on the last day when she makes a comment say "Look, this is the *th time you have mentioned me eating this week - is there a problem here?"

Follow up of course with a "If you haven't noticed already, I am pregnant and I must eat to ensure my baby's growth is not impacted in anyway".

If after this she doesn't stop, I'd raise it with management that you find her comments inappropriate and uncomfortable.

ImFine I must be childish because that just made me laugh

Forgot to add - people like her make me so angry. It's no wonder people develop eating disorders when you have comments like that being made.