To hate my house?

[Microwaved111]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, maybe to vent maybe to see if anyone else feels the same.

Basically I hate my house. It's our first house we bought it 2.5 years ago and I just hate it for so many reasons but I'll try to list a few

• it's a two bed and tiny no space for anything anywhere
• bathroom was half finished when we bought it and we've done our best but it just looks awful and it's so embarrassing.

-carpet up the stairs and landing is awful

• we replaced all Windows and doors with double glazing but the house is still cold and we get so much condensation and mould!
• horrible laminate flooring downstairs that makes an already cold room even more freezing
• kitchen is tiny and there is no room for anything. Previous owners replaced kitchen but it hasn't been fitted properly and is just a mess.
• garden is tiny but has a huge summer house in the back which blocks the sun during the summer.
• the decking was rotten when we moved in (only found that our when dp fell through it)

There are loads more things I could go on all day. It's basically a mess and I'm embarrassed to have people over. We don't have the money to fix it all. We bought the house thinking it was lovley but once you move in and the previous owners furniture and stuff was all gone and you look at it in the cold light of day and you realise it is crap!!!

I want to move but we can't afford to so we just have to make do, but it gets me down that it is so awful!

Has anyone else been in this situation?

we replaced all Windows and doors with double glazing but the house is still cold and we get so much condensation and mould!

You need to ventilate houses, so if you install double glazing you must open windows to let out steam from the shower, bath, cooking etc or you will have a problem with condensation and mould. It's a big problem in older houses with stone walls, or poor insulation as walls are cold so water condenses on them.

Older properties are not designed to be hermatically sealled. You don't say what age your house is, but if it is a newer build with good insulation then perhaps you need to heat it a little more. Every day living creates a lot of water vapour, and that is going to condense on any cold surface. It's a very common problem.

I feel the same as you do OP.

The disgusting stairs carpet was removed and I painted the stairs with floor paint. It took a bit of getting used to but it is so easy to clean.
Cost - less than a tenner. You can often get unused carpet offcuts on free sites.

Make rag rugs for the laminate if you can’t afford to replace/buy rugs. They’ll do until your financial situation changes.

Spend on a dehumidifier. We got one for the laundry room which got all steamed up and horrid, but as long as people remember to check the dehumidifier and empty it and switch it on then the room’s fine.

Make curtains. They make a huge difference to cold houses. We have floor to ceiling curtains up over various doorways too, to cut down on draughts.

There’s a recent thread here about a cold house and no money, with lots of tips on how you can keep your house warmer without spending too much.

I can sympathise, as its only this house ( which also isnt perfect) that i actually love - the last 2 i lived in i really hated. Not much help, but maybe just tackle one job at a time? write a list ( dh and I do one New years eve) and pin it up somewhere with all the things you want to do- then do them one by one. We moved for a load of reasons, but i sometimes wished i had stuck it out at the old place sometimes, you may find, once your house is done, you will then love it? or maybe its just time to move on! i understand about the money aspect too - but some jobs are not always huge amounts and can make a difference.

Oh op I sympathise. When we went to view our house we were young, in love and just excited to be buying our first house together. We both walked in with rose tinted glasses on and didn't see any 'faults'. We put an offer in the next day!

After over 15 years of living here we have just got it up to standard, it's took years of being fed up, money pumped into it and hard work and muck but we have just finished the last room.

Granted it's not a tiny house so space isn't an issue but there was a long period when I wouldn't invite anyone to our because I was embarrassed and sometimes I would just look at stuff in despair. The damp and condensation is was horrible to deal with but eventually deal with it was what we did.

The previous owners had actually stuck the kitchen tiles on with silicone and that was probably the best bit of DIY they had done! The rest was horrendous!

My house now, to us, is beautiful but it has took time and patience.

Have patience and just do what you can and what you can afford and eventually it will become your 'castle'.

Like a op said - invest in a dehumidifier.

We've been in our house 12 years and have all your problems and more! While you can't tackle them all, you can do bit by bit and gradually it will feel like a real home.
Rugs over the laminate... if you are short on cash you don't need expensive ones, Ikea Hampden rugs are about £40 and do a great job (we have several for the same reason)
Ditto storage..Ikea is your friend. Boxes under beds, stacking boxes, the thin shoe storage that goes on the wall... brilliant for keeping a place look bigger than it is. I currently have 6 adults living in a 3.5 bedroom house (due to kids coming back home!) and we have ikea storage everywhere.
Carpet... hate ours too, but keep it hoovered and clean and I try not to think about until we can afford to replace it!
Knock down the summer house and reclaim your garden :)

There are a lot of things you can do yourself. In my time I have even carpeted stairs using a cheap offcut. Every diy er has started somewhere, and we all make mistakes, but have a go. Things like tiling aren't difficult. Sell the summerhouse in the spring if it's blocking the sun. Have you got room elsewhere for a more suitable garden shed? It would give you some extra storage.
We had a very small kitchen, and I had to really pare down equipment. It is surprising how much stuff you rarely use. Thin it out a bit.
You need to sort out the damp and condensation first though.

If you get damp and mould I would prioritise getting someone into look at resolving the root cause. Houses shouldn’t need dehumidifiers and mould is not good for you health.

As others have said do it a bit at a time and learn diy through trial and error, you tube is brilliant for videos to help (we learned from a diy book in ye olden days!), but start with the serious problems like mould first, no point painting/wallpapering if walls need sorted out.

Don’t be embarrassed, as long as your home is reasonably clean family and friends understand you home is a work in progress.

We were in this situation when we bought our first house. When we moved out we'd done enough to it to make it nice. It really was one step at a time though. Save up to get one room done or the carpet, whatever is your priority. I really appreciated our bathroom after it was done. The contrast from what it was like previously was massive. Being able to be in one room and feel that it is as you want it helps you cope with the rest.

I sympathise too. Our house is also lot of work in progress. We bought it 4 years ago and knew that it needs a lot of work. It's older house, with garden and garage but almost everything needs to be redone or replace. When we choosed this house we knew it will be cost lots of money and work, but I saw huge potential at this house, so we went to it. Shortly after we moved we replaced all flooring, ripped all carpets and change stairs carpet, repainted whole house but because the house was too old there was and still is a lot of hidden problems, which we discover later so rest of our saving sucked this unplanned things and now with two small kids, just whole process slowed down...But... I can still see that possible potential in it, just need to win lottery!😂 Just want to tell you, that I understand that it's sometimes frustrating and you often will get the feeling just sell it and move somewhere else, I getting this feeling too and at that times I secretly called our house 'House of horror'👹😫 But it will get better, just need time and money and lots of strong nerves!😁

I look at houses for sale everyday and there are some lovley houses in our area...just wish I could win the lottery so i could live in one!!

I do know I am very lucky to own my own house at a pretty young age and I'm in a good position compared to some, this is very much a first world problem.

I just never expected lots of work involved in this house! We thought it would just be move in that's it it just turned out the previous owners didn't look after the house well at all I suppose I'm disappointed and a bit jealous of people with the lovely new houses being built near me. We worked so hard to buy this house and I feel like it was a mistake

OP's house might be tiny. Some 2 bedroom houses have much less floorspace than others.
Start on one thing OP. Take it easy.

My house is a two bed Victorian cottage. We've downsized from a six bed farmhouse but I wanted no mortgage. An older house will always require work but you have to make it work for you and weigh up the pros and cons. De cluttering is the key. I don't need two fridges and freezers and hobby rooms, etc. One step at a time.

You sound that you need to cheer up little bit, therefore did you see movie Mr Blandings dream house or Money Pit? It's comedy about people in very much similar situations and it's always cheer me up...🌻

I've lived in my house for 20 years and I still hate it! Too cold in winter, too hot in summer, crappy garden where nothing grows, no airing cupboard, no loft. I clean every day and it's still full of cobwebs and dust, it's a magnet for insects. Every day my hall floor is covered in mysterious black grit that sweeps in when you open the front door. I truly believe some people have warm, clean houses with the minimum of effort and other people are stuck with leaky, damp, dusty, grimy old dumps. My house exhausts me every day. Not much advice to give really but eventually you will reach an understanding with your house and muddle along like I have because you can't afford to move. Fill your house with beautiful things then you won't notice the crap lurking behind it.

Halogen heaters are cheap and give out brilliant heat - perfect for sittingroom if your cold.

I get it. I'm trying to decorate the stairs as carpet is thread bare and walls stained. It's depressing. I decorated my sittingroom first and used a big rug. Good specialised paint can stop mould growing.

Do you have good central heating in the house?

If there are new build houses near you that you fancy the look of, you could just go and talk to someone in the sales office. We got an amazing deal on our old house (new build) with the builders paying stamp duty, putting in fitted wardrobes, blinds, lighting...when we walked in there I didn’t think we could afford the advertised prices, but there may be a deal to be done. They might even buy your house from you (although this is usually at lower than market rate, so beware).

Ah remember those lovely new houses will inevitably have snagging issues to deal with too. You never really know a house until you live in it.

I do sympathise as it sounds like you didn’t sign up for the amount of work you’ve realised the house needs. However, all houses need looking after. Sometimes you are having to play catch up with delayed maintenance but as a pp said, there will always be something. That’s home ownership!

I think you should have a good wallow, allow yourself to feel fed up for a bit. Then pick yourself up and decide that if you’re going to be in this house for a couple of years, you will do as much as you can to make it a home. You might not ever love it, but you can improve your comfort. If you rented before, there were probably quirks that drove you mad about those places. You probably found a way to deal with those quirks for the duration of the tenancy. You can deal with the quirks of the house you have now.

If new builds are your preferred option, you can often get builder to buy your current property. You might be able to afford something and the stamp,duty will have gone.
Otherwise an action plan. Some quick wins and some longer term projects. As people say, houses need ventilation to avoid condensation.
Then make draft excluders, heavy door curtains, and maybe some nice rugs. Rag rugs are cheap and easy and provide insulation.
Someone has suggested selling summerhouse-good idea. Use money to get nice garden table and chairs and some easy care planters. Rip up,the decking - it’s ghastly anyway and will be passé very shortly.
Spend some effort making your bathroom nice. It can’t need too much work, surely? Nice tiles, coat of paint, candles and nice towels.
A tiny kitchen needs minimal content. Clear surfaces as much as possible. Don’t hoard things you don’t use.
Get some nice Christmas greenery and lights up to give it an instant lift.

Oh op, I know what you mean. Every time we try and do any DIY, it’s inevtiable that we will end up cursing the previous owners and shrieking, ‘What were they THINKING? WHY would you DO that?!!?’ as we drive to pour yet more money into the coffers of B&Q, Homebase or Screwfix in an attempt to deal with the hideous bodge we will inevitably have discovered. Previous owners are the pits and there is so much that has been bodged - we recently had a new front door, and the frame of the old one was sitting on Earth (and worms!) instead of insulation foam, for instance, which probably explains why it was damp... a lot of houses around here are similar because people often couldn’t afford to get a professional in. Our stove was another DIY job, which is safe (chimney sweep is a mate and checked thoroughly) but is nowhere near as efficient as it should be because the gap is too small around it, so it heats the walls and not the room So next year we have to fix that, which may well end up being a job for a builder and cost many £££s. But you muddle through these things in time.

If it's still cold, what about draughts? The gaps between floor and skirting board, and between skirting board and wall, can let in a lot of cold As can gaps between floorboards. You can do an awful lot of draughtproofing with newspaper! And an old blanket or a "sausage" along the bottom of the door may make you feel like your grandmother, but it does a lot to help your sitting room keep warm in an evening.

Don't be embarrassed - at least get your good friends over. (In any case, they're more likely to see your house the same way as you did when you decided to buy it).

I’m the same as you OP. On top of everything else the zoning was changed and now houses are being bulldozed and replaced with hideous, cheap townhouses. I also probably bit off more than I could chew with my mortgage seeing as I live by myself. Oh and I hate one of my neighbours!

I’ve decided to get the basics fixed such as carpet, paint and curtains and then sell in about a year. The only upside to the rezoning is that my house has gone up in value.

I’m planning on moving somewhere a bit further out of town and cheaper so I can actually buy some nice furniture and have more money after paying my mortgage.

I've bought a dehumidifier of Amazon so we'll see if it makes a difference at least to the worst rooms for condensation.

My and dp wrote a list of all the things we needed to do last night. Dp isn't really interested in it all to be honest he would rather not have the hassle of doing anything at all and leave it as it is because "it is still liveable"

Yeah, my ex was like that. So I did all the DIY myself. By the time we split up and sold the house, I'd decorated every room, including painting the kitchen cupboard doors, put shelves up, bought and refurbished furniture from the local junk shop (got some great pieces from there which I still have), redesigned the garden, and all while doing all the housework, looking after my children, and working.
And then he swindled me out of some of the equity from the house. You can see why he's an ex!

Anyway, I did enjoy making my home nice and took great satisfaction when I completed each project, and you can too OP. You will need him to get on board about dealing with the damp and saving for carpets. Try pointing out to him that looking after the fabric of the house is important, because otherwise it will deteriorate and cost more money in the long run. It will also be worth less when it's time to sell.
Also that threadbare carpets on the stairs is dangerous and you or your child could fall down the stairs.

You can make your little house a cosy home for you and your child.

A dehumidifier changed my house. Dry down your windows every morning so condensation doesn't longer on them and cause mould issues.

Try draught excluders.

Can you put nice non-slip rugs on the laminate flooring?

Declutter as much as possible. I got rid of so much dtuff and I like my house a lot more now.