That this is the school's responsibility?

[NeverUseThisName]

Dc's school have some sort of church activity 3 times a year. I let my dc choose whether they participate. We are not Christian. They used to have a TA supervise one classroom with, say, a film and an art table, for non-churchgoers.

But, as the cohorts have moved the n, fewer and fewer children across the school are being withdrawn from RE activities. The school tend to schedule these trips in the afternoon, and now encourage non-participating children to be collected from school after lunch. Often my youngest dc is the only child remaining at school.

AIBU to r fuse to collect him? I'm at work, and he is registered at school that afternoon.

Is it a religious school?

The school my DC go to makes it clear that they have a religious ethos, and pupils are expected to go to the church services. The only exceptions are children who can’t sit through the services because they’re too young (the nursery class) or have a SEN that makes it hard for them to cope in the church services.

I think you should let him go. I grew up in a Christian household and attended Christian school and a as a consequence, have very little understanding of other religions. This is something I have tried very hard to rectify as I believe most of the problems in the world today come from misunderstanding religion and I think it's important that children are educated about ALL religions (unless their school is religion specific, in which case you should have accepted this as part and parcel of sending your child there).

However, I do also believe that the school has to provide a full day of school your child so YANBU in saying you can't pick up early.

Are you a Jehovas Witness? I went to a church school where there were two children who were excluded from assemblies and Christian activities at their parents request. These children felt very left out and would always ask what they had missed (one even “borrowed” a hymn book to learn the songs we sung). I’m from a non-religious family and whilst I didn’t believe in the religious aspect I enjoyed the community side.

You've said you let your CD decide whether or not they wish to participate. Is it possible that they are choosing not to participate in the hope of getting an afternoon off school? If you make it clear that you will not collect them, would they change their decision?

I would just make them take part in the activity

It is not a religious school. Being of a different faith to the majority, it was very important to us that our children went to an unaffiliated school.

I do not withdraw my dc from RE. I give them free choice whether they wish to participate in worship events. If they choose not to participate, then I have to formally withdraw them, otherwise the school includes them.

OP - you say that the school has these church activities only 3 times a year so personally I wouldn't worry too much about them asking to collect your child after lunch. It doesn't seem from your post like this is happening on a regular basis, more that this is a one off.

They might be just trying to ensure that your child doesn't feel like the odd one out because he / she is left at school - if they are not at school then there is less chance of them feeling excluded. Technically it would not be unreasonable to refuse to collect your child but it may mean that your little one feels a bit excluded and might be seen as the school as you being a bit belligerent. Why don't you have a conversation with the school and figure something out that everyone is comfortable with?

If the child has chosen himself not to participate then he clearly doesn't feel left out.
The school has to accommodate him somehow whether that is sitting and reading in the office or whatever.
Some people can't just take time off work for things like this. What if the op was a teacher with her own class for eg. Would she be expected to leave her class to go and pick up her child because the school hadn't made provision for him? Then her own school would have to find cover!

I'd like to hear what suggestions you have for the school those of you who doesn't think the OP is BU. Schools cant have 2 members of staff stay behind in school for 1 child out of 80. It's a sensible suggestion that the child is collected.

Schools know that they have to operate within the law, and that the law allows parents to opt their children out of religious education and activities. Therefore if they don't have enough staff to leave one behind to look after the opted out children, they they will have to rethink the church activity. They can't claim that the law doesn't apply to them just because they don't choose to organise their staff in order to meet their legal obligations.

You can bet that if, on the following day, OP insisted on taking her child home early, the school would refuse to authorise the absence.

they aren’t responsible for finding him something to do. That responsibility is yours

Why, Rafals? When the child is at school during school hours, the school is in loco parentis. It would hardly be the action of a responsible parent to leave a child staring into space for three hours when it's just as easy to find him a book or give him some drawing paper - or even do something radical like, you know, teaching him.

"It's a sensible suggestion that the child is collected. Schools are for educating children, not babysitting them."

Schools are for educating children, not taking them to Church.

WOuld him going to the venue but sitting in a side room or something playing/drawing/reading be an option?

You clearly don’t have strong feelings about it either way as you let your child choose 🙄 so stop causing so much hassle for the school because your snowflake doesn’t want to sit still for an hour. Honestly.

This is complete nonsense, and verging on the offensive.

Dh and I do have strong feelings about it, hence our insistence that our dc should go to unaffiliated schools, not even a school affiliated to our religion. In our opinion, religious practice has no place in modern education. Learning about religions, yes. Practicing them, no. In a pluralist society, religious practice belongs at home or in the religious community.

I have no objection to my snowflake sitting still for an hour or two. In the school, which he is obliged to attend.

I cannot take the time off work to collect my dc, as I will be involved in a different school's act of worship. (Oh the irony!)

Our older children, who are no longer at this primary, both took/are taking RE GCSE, both sing in their school choirs, have both performed at voluntary concerts in the past 10 days, including at hospices and nursing homes, and have both chosen not to participate in the carol services.

How old is your DC? What is their reason for not wanting to attend?
Could it be not due to any religious reason but because they preferred to watch a film and do crafts (possibly one reason why the school no longer offer this as an alternative).

If it's his choice he knows he has the choice of joining in or sitting with not many other children.
When you offer have m the choice tell her m you won't be able to pick him up, and he's not to moan about being bored, but you don't care which he does.

I would point the school to rule number 84 in the relevant DfE publication, Collective worship in schools:

A school continues to be responsible for the supervision of any child
withdrawn by its parent from collective worship.

Source: www.gov.uk/government/publications/collective-worship-in-schools
This is an old document but appears to be current, as far as I can tell.

Let your child attend the religious activity. It’s a no-brainer. He might learn something about how other people think. Nothing wrong with that. It’s one of the reasons I sent my children to a faith school.

I think the school is responsible for supervision - but they don't have to be educating them - you are opting out of the education they are providing.

At my children's school those opting out still go to the church, but they are given headphones with an audio story to follow on a non religious theme and are kept an eye on clearly separate from the others, there is often a church room or corridor they sit in - or they sit in the office with nothing to do.