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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't afford Christmas/summer good behaviour school trip then come in uniform and work all day.

78 replies

Thebandsmostmonthly · 13/12/2017 07:04

Possibly being a bit sensitive.
School run two trips a year which are not educational but purely a treat for good behaviour, usually a theme park and Christmas markets. My children are new to the school.

If you can't afford or can't go for whatever reason then you stay behind with the ones who have been excluded from the trip, have to come in in full uniform when everyone else is in home clothes, they get a special breakfast etc and you have to sit there while they do etc and work all day.
Even though they have to work all day they don't even put on a proper education. Most of the school is out so we've been told on the summer trip they did some worksheets with a teacher in the morning and then spent most of the day on their phones.

AIBU to think they could stump to a couple of dvds and a tub of popcorn for those left behind?

OP posts:
Hopeful103 · 13/12/2017 09:06

That's horrible to make those poor kids who can't afford it feel even worse. Shocking actually. They are being punished for something out of their control.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/12/2017 09:08

I think that's really poor by the school, actually! if you're going to have a treat day as an incentive, then the school should bloody well stump up for it, otherwise it discriminates against poorer families, which then gives their kids less incentive to follow the rules and try hard.

Stupid idea! They should have something that ALL students who qualify by behaviour can take part in!

Awful Angry

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 13/12/2017 09:09

AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL!

I was at school in the 70's/80's and my school organised a day trip to the London Planetarium but in order to go you had to find something out and write about it. Obviously we didn't have a computer then so we needed to look it up in an encyclopedia but we didn't have any in my house! We we're pretty hard up and parents very 'hands off'. I couldn't complete the task so I never got rewarded for 'trying' and wasn't allowed to go on the trip. That was over 30 years ago and I have never forgotten how that made me feel.

I can't believe schools still divide children in this way. It's cruel. Not all children have parents who can afford these bloody 'rewards', they shouldn't be punished for it and excluding them from a reward trip is humiliating.

I would complain.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 13/12/2017 09:10

Obvioisly the school is bu and if keep my children off in those circumstances.

Am struggling to think of what teenagers are supposed to do in Leeds for 5 hours that doesn't involve dicking about tbh. Doesn't seem like the best idea.

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 13/12/2017 09:12

As a footnote I would keep them off school that day.

ragged · 13/12/2017 09:13

I guess this is secondary age, and that they are very new to the school?

I would start saving now or at least ASAP, for the reward trips next year. I guess you need to budget £30 per head per kid, twice a year? So that's £120 for the year, £10 a month. If you can.

DS didn't like the special trips so preferred going to regular school.

ragged · 13/12/2017 09:14

ps: if the £15 is just each person for the bus, then could you take your kids there by your own free transport?

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 13/12/2017 09:18

I never went on any of the school trips due to lack of funds, ok it was many years ago, but have children changed so much? it was quite nice going into school when most were out, I preferred to wear my uniform and had a really nice day. There was often quite a few of us

Categoric · 13/12/2017 09:26

Truly depressing that in 2017 and with all the training the staff and teachers have had that they could even think of doing something so excluding. I would write to the governors and ask them why trips are being planned which are out of reach for families of limited means. We had no money when I was young and I never had the latest piece of clothing or gadget. It’s hard to be in that situation and this sort of trip will only make it worse.

PurpleMinionMummy · 13/12/2017 09:35

Most schools will help if a family genuinely can't afford it. It sounds like you haven't asked so its rather unfair to slate the school.

My kids have always taken food into theme parks.

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 13/12/2017 09:44

Eh? What the hell is s good behaviour trip? Sure good behaviour in schools is expected and bad behaviour punished? How much are these trips? If the school agrees to fund the trip can you save up for the food? Or let one child go in the winter and one in the summer?

user1495390685 · 13/12/2017 09:46

Possibly controversial, but I think it's not the school's place to "reward" children in this way. How is a shopping trip an enriching experience? Is it nor possible to have well-organised reward days at school, such as a small party where the parents bring food? Children look forward to days off timetable, so it's enough. Our old school organised a cinema trip as a so-called reward to watch an age-unsuitable film -- lots of children were weeping on the bus home. I thought it was a shocking waste of everyone's time as well an undue
stress for many children.

Original poster
Thebandsmostmonthly · 13/12/2017 09:52

My own Dc asked their year head what happened if you couldn't go hence we knew what I had put in my op that they had to come in in uniform and do work with those excluded. They were told they couldn't get the bus their themselves as registration was first and I've been told part of that money is insurance so they wouldn't have been covered for that. I've spoke to dc and there are five in school including them (they had already set off)

I can't warrant £30 plus a tenner each for spends so £50 for two kids to go somewhere we can go for free.

OP posts:
Tiddlywinks63 · 13/12/2017 09:54

So bribing children with the promise of trips is the norm now?
I would have assumed there was an expectation that children would behave in school as a given?
As for excluding those who can't afford it, that's discriminatory at the least and a downright disgusting example for anyone.
I would be furious.

Original poster
Thebandsmostmonthly · 13/12/2017 09:55

Purple some theme parks bag search.

I think the theme park trip it was £35 including coach which I know is cheap for a theme park. But would have cost £70 for those with two in school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thebandsmostmonthly · 13/12/2017 10:05

Oh that's nothing Tiddly. Off target but...
Their old bog standard state comp school had prize giving with bikes and small TVs and Kindles as prizes (presumably donated but unsure). Each time you got so many house points they entered you.

The kids who won every year was the ones who had been an utter nightmare but for who teachers threw house points at them for the slightest thing. Which I do understand.
The child who had bullied one of mine most of the year won a bike. He had 257 house points.

Quiet well behaved dc1 who has additional needs and struggles academically had 17...

OP posts:
HuskyMcClusky · 13/12/2017 10:09

Possibly controversial, but I think it's not the school's place to "reward" children in this way.

I agree. Shopping and movies - WTF?

ragged · 13/12/2017 10:13

Why did you move them from "Their old bog standard state comp school "?

g1itterati · 13/12/2017 10:23

I have never in my life heard of a school that gives prizes of bikes for good behaviour Shock
Good behaviour should be standard - not something to Make a big hoopla about. No wonder some schools have problems.
At my DC school there are only academic / sports / music prizes and it's a certificate, that's it. The recognition is enough. Any child would cringe at being given a TV!

Annorlunda5 · 13/12/2017 11:02

We didn't have a 'good behaviour' trip when I was at school 6 years ago. At the end of the academic year we would go to a theme park like Thorpe Park, but only people who acheived a certain % of attendance could go. It was free (apart from spending money). I think if a student was chronically ill or had loads of appointments they get exempted from being left out - can't quite remember the details on that...

Original poster
Thebandsmostmonthly · 13/12/2017 11:04

Bullying and threatened with a knife.
Still jn state school. I just said bog standard comp to point it wasn't a private school that gave crazy prizes.

OP posts:
Ceto · 13/12/2017 12:33

I'm uncomfortable with the idea of a good behaviour trip anyway. How can they guarantee that this doesn't discriminate against children who have behavioural problems due to inadequately met SN, or those who are playing up due to horrendous things happening at home?

Believeitornot · 13/12/2017 15:20

@Thebandsmostmonthly because sometimes you need to make the call that actually it is off and you speak to the school regardless of what your dcs say. So I stand by my post about leaving it too late.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 13/12/2017 17:47

Ours does a reward trip every term with the biggest one being in summer. It's there as a carrot to dangle to do well and not be sanctioned.

The trips are know about in advance so parents know they are coming up and have the choice of sending their children or not.

Not sure if PP is used as it's getting tighter what it can be used for as has to show the educational outcome and a fun trip wouldn't have that aspect.

It sounds as though you think it's poor value for money and that's your choice but no reason the others shouldn't go if their parents want them too.

Original poster
Thebandsmostmonthly · 14/12/2017 15:28

Yellowmakesmesmile
It was a case of not being able to afford to send them rather than poor value for money and at no point did I say that I thought the other children should be stopped from going. My point was only that for those who can't afford to go there should be something in school even if it's just bring in movies from home or even some activity with a remaining teacher.
Most secondary schools have good facilities, ours has 3d printers and all kinds. Let them design something small Christmassy and print or use the trampolines or even just the dvds.

Because yesterday the kids who couldn't afford to go stayed behind and did a full day of normal lessons with the three remaining teachers. I think that's a bit shit and I stand by that.

Anyway it's done now, the kids survived. I will be prepared next time even if that means they have the day off and I'm going to see if we can start some kind of fundraising so that this doesn't happen to other kids.

There was a program on this week about working parents who were struggling having to use their kids school to charge their phones as no electric at home and teachers having to heat up foods for them. Those kids shouldn't have to miss out on trips too.

OP posts: