AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

Poppingshop christ you use paths and trails for walking in the country, do you think theres pavements up to the top of snowdon?

I have to confess I was surprised by the lack of pavement in some of the countryside I have visited. I wanted to go walking & enjoy the beautiful scenery

It drives me mad! I hate having to get in the car for a mile or two. No buses and no pavements. I write to my mp about it, but seem to get nowhere.

@grime

If you could calm down a wee minute, the op was responding to my point about having to drive more in my part of the Home Counties. I suggested she might prefer another city than a rural town like mine as having to drive short distances is really irksome. Alright with you mate?

Not getting my point Laurie, I know what off west end means

No you're not getting my point if you're determined to paint regional theatre as innovative and ground breaking and London theatre as being about 'lame big name draws'. That just shows you haven't the first clue.

Let me say it one more time. Lots of great theatre in regional cities outside London. But the scale, number of productions and variety to be found in London are in a league of their own. It's a world leading city when it comes to theatre. Sheffield isn't (though you're absolutely right to say there are great things happening there).

I could never live in a twee market town.

I think the big difference between living in London and living elsewhere in the UK is that if you fancy the sound of doing something, there is probably somebody else not too far away doing it. (And people are unlikely to say 'what do you want to do that for?' I'm sure that'll piss off the non-Londoners but I stand by it. And I've lived all over).

I suppose that might be the same for any big city, it's just that London is the biggest.

In terms of community etc once you have kids at school London is more or less the same as anywhere else ime.

How on earth are you complaining about the lack of pavement in the countryside!!! Y'all need to get out more. Lots lots more!

Genever
In my experience, there is an infinite world of difference between missing london when you moved there as a young adult and lived there for a while, and missing it because it's your home, where you were born and grew up.

I completely agree with you. I understand that for those who grew up in London it’s a completely different scale of decision whether or not to leave London.

TfL have only got involved in London overground very recently. It's just branding

TFL have been running it for 10 years. More info here:
tfl.gov.uk/modes/london-overground/

How on earth are you complaining about the lack of pavement in the countryside!!! Y'all need to get out more. Lots lots more

It isn’t pavements in the countryside which are the problem though is it? I was complaining that I have to drive to get to the countryside / woods / lots of other places, because walking there from my town is dangerous due to lack of pavement, despite it only being a mile or two from my house.

@grimeofthecentury Bucket of gravy for that chip?

remember there is no tube or overground.
Ignorance of anywhere Non-London bound up in an otherwise valid point about how much investment and subsidy of public transport there is in London.

On a point of order I can think of at least two other UK cities with underground rail systems and loads with overground ones. They aren’t so heavily supported though because they aren’t in London.

God yeah, DH’s parents live in the country. Drive everywhere.

I did want to come on and post really sarcastic comment, but I can’t bring myself to say anything but you’re fucking ignorance is only outweighed by your rudeness.

No pavements in the countryside.

I have heard it all. Jeezo.

I have just moved from London to Belfast (six months ago). Originally from here.

I think the thing is that London is so intense and hectic and weirdly sort of addictive - you get used to living at that pace and so it’s oddly uncomfortable for me NOT to be doing so anymore.

I’m not going to lie OP, there are things that are awesome about it like the amazing friendly people, incredible schools, scenery, the craic, the cheap houses. It’s very car dependant COMPARED TO LONDON (even though I have done several journeys by public transport this week people seem to think I’m a bit odd, then they’re like, oh yes she’s FROM LONDON ).

However I am missing London a lot. In a weird way I sort of miss the toxic madness. Kids are delighted with both belfast and themselves though, and keep telling me how they prefer it to London. I haven’t broken it to them that if we haven’t sorted our lives out by the end of the school year then we’ll have to go back.

The main reason for this is jobs. There are tons of good jobs on paper, but I am finding it really hard to get one. That’s partly due to the slightly painful NI job application process (very distinct and bureaucratic here compared to London) and partly due to the fact that it’s more professions-based. If you were NHS, solicitor or accountant then this is an ace place to be based as good stable jobs and money can go much further. I work in creative field, was very well paid but stressed to the max in London, barely any creative industry work here and what there is very badly paid so now super stressed as we are skint!

Basically, it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other and it’s whatever suits your life and ambitions and tastes better really.

Schnitzel thanks, I'll take it. Having voluntarily left London though not sure where I'll get the chips from. Best friend just rang me in tears after having phone nicked on the tube last night. Think she'll be moving soon too I'll share the gravy with her.

TFL have been running it for 10 years. More info here

Yes that's what I meant by recently.

You do know how old the overground rail network?

(Was it you who sagely advised that the overground doesn't exist outside of London? )

Maybe you should be reading rather than dispensing links to other people who have a better grasp of what's going on?

I think "living in the country" needs a bit more definition on this thread. There is a huge difference between living in a naice village in easy commuting distance of London (is this really "the countryside" or is it a new kind of place - the city-village?) and living in the wildest parts of the Scottish highlands where the next house is 3 miles away. Just as there is a huge difference between rural wealth and rural poverty just about everywhere.

Well, I also think people are being super ignorant about the OPs background. SHE HAS NEVER LIVED OUTSIDE LONDON. How is she supposed to know how the countryside works? We are looking at houses right now in NI in borderline suburbia/country and one of the issues is suddenly there are tiny windy roads and no pavements, so no option to walk safely to public transport. I think this would be a massive culture shock to lots of Londoners.

I could never live in a twee market town.

Yup. It's either London or twee market towns. No other cities exist; everything outside the M25 is a barren wasteland. What a stark choice.

We moved out and I kid you not every friend we made moved here from London .

OP I'm reading this thread carefully because we are sick to death of london and the main reason we stay is my elderly parents. They aren't in London but i can get to them in an emergency and visit often, whereas if we head out somewhere else we'd like, it's not near them.

it sounds like you stay in your local so I think as long as you pick a similar area it will be fine?

Pax, what you said about the small market town is exactly what we're looking for - I'm looking at your posts thinking "does this really exist" but it's only something we can consider when my parents aren't here.

although recently our area - outer London burbs zone 5/6 has become so crowded it's making us think again. The worry, I think, is that outside London will become more expensive as more and more Londoners want to escape to some rural quiet place where the neighbour is happy with a cup of tea and someone to look at their knitting. I would much rather that than "shall we take a group of DC to Winter Wonderland" which drives me nuts and none of us like crowds.

sorry, that was long! But seriously OP I would imagine you can "replicate" your area fairly easily, it won't be as crowded - and you don't seem to go to Central London anyway? Being settled where you are is important, I get that, but a smaller mortgage seems a great plan too.