To be shocked at teacher telling DD to 'hold in' period.

[yaela123]

DD is 15 and her school have a no going to the toilet during lesson time rule, which I completely agree with on the whole as I know how disruptive it can be if people are constantly in and out, and how everyone just uses it as an excuse to bunk off (I am a teacher too - very different environment though)

Only exception is if you have a medical note from a doctor.

Today in one of her lessons DD says she could feel that she really needed to change her pad, she was getting quite worried about it leaking. She eventually asked the (male) teacher if she could go to the loo.

Teacher: No, you know the rules
DD: I really need it.
Teacher: What did I just say?
DD: It's a girl problem...
Teacher: What do you mean?
DD: Umm... I'm on my period
Teacher: Break is only in half an hour, hold it in til then

Obviously those aren't the exact words said but she says it's pretty accurate.
DD is quite shy so did just wait til break (no leakage btw).

She doesn't seem overly bothered but AIBU to be pretty shocked at him telling her to hold it in? Surely even men have some basic idea that it doesn't work like that?

I worked as a TA for a bit. The teacher asked me to hold the fort because she urgently needed the loo as she had flooded. I should have told her not to be so stupid, she wasnt bleeding to death and she should try holding it in!

Before I had my endometrial ablation I could barely leave the house for the first couple of days of my periods. I don’t know why some women can’t understand why, just because they get off relatively Scott free, others don’t.

Your poor daughter. That must have been an awful feeling of possible leakage. I have felt like that before. I think that teacher may need a gentle word.

I’ve been teaching for 15+ years and I don’t think a girl has ever used the period card on me. The schools I have taught in have all had a no toilet rule but honesty, I use my discretion. I can tell if a kid is genuine and will take the flack if SMT stop them.

There was one incident however, when a girl came on unexpectedly and leaked right through the stool she was sitting on!! Now that was embarrassing!!

Maybe next time, your DD could have offered to show him the evidence once she'd been to the loo to sort herself out to prove that she wasn't faking it. That'll make him think twice next time.

I don't think letting a 15 year old leak through is a good way to teach her a lesson

I'm almost 50 and my periods are unpredictable - but I absolutely do still flood, and yes I can go through a pad in minutes. So much for female solidarity.

My periods were much worse in my teens. If a teenage girls is otherwise not known to be a pisstaker, they should absolutely be allowed to go when it's needed.

I would write him a very patronising letter explaining basic biology. And tell him maybe he should ask the biology dept for a refresher on his GCSE.

I'm not sure Pengwn does teach. Anyway hope it gets sorted op.

Omg, what a dick. Definitely complain, that is unacceptable.

Blahblah I think you would be able to tell who were the ones who would try and get out of class and who was genuine. And if the ones who lie apart from the fact that everyone who can soak through a pad quickly is apparently lying do have a genuine need then that would teach them pretty quickly!

Its a pasting you deserve quite frankly.

Sour teachers like you can ruin school for some children.

This idea that female teachers don't need to leave the classroom at any point because we're all super human is odd. I have occasionally had to ask a colleague, TA or technician to stay in my classroom for an unexpected visit to the toilet.

Not just the women, I once helped out a male colleague who had unexpected sickness and was being sick. Maybe he should have stayed in the classroom teaching in between chucking up!

As you've said, people post a lot of bullshit on here. I suppose you're to be believed though are you?

Yes perhaps the teachers discretion would be the best approach although still not ideal.I imagine not all teachers would be confident enough to flout the rules though. I think your issue is with the school.and not the individual teacher

IamalsoSpartacus

Funnily enough, my periods are not in the slightest bit light and easy. I have to use a menstrual cup and sanitary pad on occasions, and will sock through those. However, part of my life means I can't drop everything to run to the toilet - and what I said is true - those occasions will exist for the OP's DD too, so she needs to plan to the best of her ability to deal with it.

Additionally we are not talking about your period in this thread. The OP said her DD last changed her pad 3 hours before (before leaving the house) and not before her lesson. AND she didn't leak through either. So my point remains - in this situation she didn't need to be excused and she could have planned better.

I thought you had backed out and weren't commenting, having said goodnight Pengggwn.

There is indeed a lot of bullshit on this website though. Not generally to do with heavy periods mind.

Plus she has had her periods for 3 years now, so should have a reasonable understanding of whether she'd need to change her pad before lesson and do so to avoid disruption (I'm guessing she didn't).

This is a failure to understand the issue. A clean pad makes no difference if you suddenly gush. The pad can't absorb the rush of blood fast enough and it spills out and leaks down your legs.

Last week I had my period and had a gush and leaked all over my sofa. I am 33. It is where the pad can't soak up the sudden amount of blood quickly enough. Yes it does happen, it isn't a constant flow of blood.

If DD is sensible, I would probably tell her to simply leave the lesson if she has to go and they don't allow her too. Let her know you will back her up.

When I was at school we were allowed to go to the toilet in lesson if needed and it wasn't a big deal. Why has it changed so much?

blahblah Teachers can use a bit of common sense: if a usually well-behaved non-timewasting pupil asks, in a euphemistic way (the "girls' problem" thing) to go to the loo then just let her go, FFS.

I am sure many do use their period as an excuse to get out of class, but I’ve always followed the principle that it’s better to let them go in case it’s genuine need. I’d rather be safe than sorry and cause a pupil embarrassment. Maybe I’m lucky I’ve had my share of nightmare periods and I remember how stressful it could be when I was younger.

yaela123
Maybe not a dr note as such but for example, we've had parents of good kids call up and ask for a temporary toilet pass because they think theit DC has a UTI. So we issue one.

If your DD is a nice child and not the sort of child to take the mick, then maybe speak to head of year and ask if she can have one to be used in emergencies for that reason. They may have reservations if the request comes from the sort of student who then mouths off saying 'my mam told school thry have to let me' etc but if shes an otherwise good child who wouldn't take the piss then being able to discretely show a pass and get the ok to nip out might be helpful.

You're entitled to that opinion. I happen to be rather well-liked, so I'm happy enough ignoring it.

I can bet you believe you are. I doubt it though.

You have been on here all day lol