Workplace persisting with 'Mrs', aibu?

[MsPotatoHead2]

I have never been married and am single. Therefore I've always been 'Potato Head' and if a title is absolutely needed then I use 'Ms'. I work in a school. I have always said I'm 'Ms Potato Head' and asked for the mistake to be corrected. However there seems to be an issue with this, presumably because I have a child. So my name badge says Mrs, I'm a Mrs on the website and the Head etc refer to me as Mrs. I am very respectful of the school religion but aibu to feel a bit miffed that despite correcting them they seem to expect me to take on a married identity? I haven't been told that, but as they continue to use Mrs, it seems pretty clear. It is a Catholic school and quite religious ie marriage promoted etc.

Email the head and ask if a free husband is one of the perks of the job.

They're being absurd and I expect they know it.

No you are not being unreasonable.
That would piss me right off.
Titles are ridiculous anyway.

Ooh - that's a difficult one!

In an ordinary boring run-of-the-mill comp I'd say YANBU, but in this case I think the principles of the church over-ride.

(I'm an atheist if that's relevant.)

A friend of mine who is engaged but not married and works in a school was always Miss until the secretary decided she was ‘too old to be a Miss’ so changed her details to Ms!!! Talk to the head, you don’t know why exactly this has been decided.

I agree that titles are ridiculous.
"Ms" is frequently used by married women and certainly doesn't imply that you are not married, not that it matters.

YANBU! You’re not married! It’s a fact! They can’t just use Mrs because they feel like it.

Absolutely ridiculous. Regardless of the religious persuasion of the organisation, your choice of title should be respected!

Yeah I would mention it, I wouldn't be angry but it would irritate me. I've always been referred to as Miss or Ms in the schools and nurseries I've worked in, I prefer Ms, but when it comes to letters or Christmas cards to me I get a lot of Mrs. From the parents it isn't such a big deal but I'd want to be appropriately referred to on the website and by senior staff.

I'd think of it like "Madame" in France.

Why does it bother you?

I'm married and I use Ms - my marital status is none of anyone else's business and I think Ms is more professional and more eglatarian.

But it doesn't matter what I think: it's what you've told that them should go. Can you get a pen out and correct it? I would - especially when it's just plain wrong.

Is it possible that they think Ms is just for divorcees? You could explain that it's a business norm to call people Ms as a neutral title.

(Which it is, regardless of what some people are going to say: if you don't know what title a woman uses and you want to give her a formal title, Ms is the norm.)

Why does it bother you?

Is there something in your contract about promoting or upholding the values of the school?

I think they're BVU, but then I am the product of Catholic schools, now a staunch atheist. I am probably rather biased.

It fucks me right off that woman's titles change when they marry but mens dont. Women should all be Ms.

YANBU keep pestering them until they change it

Thanks. It bothers me because it's not the truth and because I take it as a judgement against me. As it happens I would prefer to be married/in a relationship but my ex left us, so I'd rather just be referred to by my correct title. If I ever became a 'Mrs' obviously it wouldn't be my current name anyway!

Well, no, not obviously: plenty of women don't change their name on marriage, and plenty of those do still use Mrs. It's up to each of us what we want to do about that.

*who don't change their name, I meant. So they're Mrs MaidenName after marriage.

Hermione sorry I don't understand? I know lots of people don't change name (I doubt I would) but if they do use 'Mrs' don't they use their husbands name then?

Yanbu

My mum worked in a school and was Ms after she and my dad split up. The children often still called her Mrs Glowworm but on everything official she was Ms Glowworm

It’s 2017. The school can’t simply decide your marital status is unacceptable to them so they’ll pretend it’s something else!

Hermione x post, fair enough I hadn't heard of that option.

Yes, sorry, I was really unclear! I would guess that most people who don't change use Ms but I know a fair few that like Mrs.

I don't mind genuine mistakes and not precious about the odd misunderstanding, it's the fact that they persist with calling me by a married title when I've told them I'm not.

Hermione completely agree.
Also some of the people using Mrs OwnName will be doing it cos hubby has taken their name. Why not.
I always use Ms MyName when not giving professional title. My marital status is no one’s business. However school (CofE) do insist on calling me Mrs HusbandName no matter how often I tell them.

each time they say Mrs PotatoHead smile and say Ms PotatoHead , each and every time, interrupt them to do so, each and every time, if that doesnt work call the female teachers MR Teacher name and the male teachers Mrs Teacher name and when they give you a weird look say if you get to make up my title i get to do the same

The school is wrong to choose a title for you and I would go and have it out with the head (in a gentle way).

I hate the fact that women in the UK are able to be categorised as to whether they are married or unmarried. I think the French have got it right - Miss until 18 and then Mrs after that, regardless of marital status. No-one ever asks a man if he is married or not so he can choose to keep his private life private.

I recently completed a form on a website and the only title options were Miss or Mrs. I decided to call myself Dr Blogs. I'm married by the way, and never use Mrs.