Me or dd

[Ascold]

For reasons I won't bore you we are having some work done on the house. Teen Dd currently has my bedroom as it is the only one with instant heating currently while we replace the rest of the economy seven. As a result the rest of the house is currently freezing apart from her room.

As we are also waiting for someone to fit an external aerial and booster and the WiFi people to come and the big living room TV won't work with one of those internal aerials but her TV will she also therefore currently has the only working TV.

As a result she is in a toastie warm room with the TV and I'm in another room freezing with no WiFi or TV, nothing.

I went into her (opened door) room early to tell her something and to close the door to keep her room warm and sat for a bit on the sofa in there to both get warm and watch a bit of the program she was already sat watching and she has had a huge drama about me being in her my room and made it clear I wasn't welcome! Basically ten minutes of 'when are you going back in there, are you going back in there now' and whinging.

AIBU for daring to invade her space or is she being a bit of a cow?

I’m thinking you (probably wrongly) blame yourself for ‘splitting up the family’, as so does she. You need to take back control. Try explaining to her how unreasonable she is being, if that fails, then it’s ultimation time.

I do know how bloody hard 15 year olds are though - I’ve had 4.

She’s 15, it’s a shit age for them and I’ve never known them to have a scrap of empathy, forward thought or how not to be selfish at that age. It’s a brain thing.

Don’t expect, get her told how it’s going to be this week until things are sorted.

"I'm currently in bed with two hot water bottles"

So you let her boot you out of your room?

Words fail me.

She's being a mardy little shit, and everyone needs to be warm and have access to stuff. She will have to learn to share.

I would have been exactly as selfish as I could get away with at that age. Only to my parents. I don't think I thought of them as people who needed stuff. I'd have got away with a lot with my mum, but my dad used to step in and force me to behave like a decent human being. You need to set some really firm boundaries, not rely on compassion. Incidentally, I was sweetness and light to everyone except my mum, it's part of detaching from your parents I think. But you don't do the teen any favours by accepting it. You insist on the behaviour you need to see, sod whether they do it with good grace!

Bertrand I was not intending to sleep in there. That wasn't the issue. I gave her my room because it was the one room that was warm.

It was the pathetic drama about me daring to use it for a while to watch the same TV program she was that riled me.

I've got her TV now anyway. So she is might be warm but she will be bored tomorrow.

As I said until recently she has been lovely but she seems to have turned into a bit of an arse of late.

OP, you just hit peak teenager here! Yes they can be selfish fuckers, as is the case here, BUT, you should not be accepting this at all! Why should you freeze your tits off in an alternative bedroom and allow yourself to be kicked out of your own room, in a house you pay for???? Drag your cold self, your duvet and your hot water bottles in there, put her on the bloody sofa and you get back in your own bed. Yes, I know we have to pick our battles with teenagers and accept they ‘can’ be mardy self centered little turds at times, but under no circumstances should she think it is ok for her mother to suffer in this way for the sake of her bloody tantrum.

I would tell her she rather shares the room fairly or she can bigger odd to her cold room and stay there while u have your room back.

Another vote for you should not be accepting this. If there is only one warm, comfortable room available at the moment you obviously should share it.

Lots of teens go through a self centred phase, they do generally grow out of it but it honestly doesn't help to indulge it in this way. Understand its a phase by all means but this is way beyond being understanding.

I agree with all.

Yes, as a teenager she's entitled to her own space and privacy, but there are times when all bets are off; and building work/only 1 warm room in the house is one of those times.

And no, this is not typical teenage behaviour.