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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me or dd

61 replies

Ascold · 10/12/2017 20:58

For reasons I won't bore you we are having some work done on the house. Teen Dd currently has my bedroom as it is the only one with instant heating currently while we replace the rest of the economy seven. As a result the rest of the house is currently freezing apart from her room.

As we are also waiting for someone to fit an external aerial and booster and the WiFi people to come and the big living room TV won't work with one of those internal aerials but her TV will she also therefore currently has the only working TV.

As a result she is in a toastie warm room with the TV and I'm in another room freezing with no WiFi or TV, nothing.

I went into her (opened door) room early to tell her something and to close the door to keep her room warm and sat for a bit on the sofa in there to both get warm and watch a bit of the program she was already sat watching and she has had a huge drama about me being in her my room and made it clear I wasn't welcome! Basically ten minutes of 'when are you going back in there, are you going back in there now' and whinging.

AIBU for daring to invade her space or is she being a bit of a cow?

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 10/12/2017 21:29

I think this is a time where you should really lose it. Yell at her that she's being selfish and that she would hate to be in your position.

A two seater sofa means you could be in there in the evening. She doesn't have the right to deny you space in the only warm room in the house.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 10/12/2017 21:33

Send her back to her old room - she'd change her bloody tune pretty quickly!

Runningwithscissors12 · 10/12/2017 21:34

Perhaps she needs the words and their inherent emotions 'kindness' and 'compassion' explaining to her.

Dozer · 10/12/2017 21:36

She is BU!

Original poster
Ascold · 10/12/2017 21:38

I'm currently in bed with two hot water bottles.
I wouldn't say I've been particularly soft on her in the past but then being a selfish, entitled know it all Madam does seem to be a recent new trait!!

She would have don't anything for anyone until a few months ago.

OP posts:
Landed · 10/12/2017 21:39

You are doing her no favours allowing her to carry on like this!

ilovekitkats · 10/12/2017 21:41

YANBU. I would have reminded her who pays the bills and who is in charge and kicked her back into her own room.

How dare she treat you like that.

sinceyouask · 10/12/2017 21:42

Tell her she can choose, heating or exclusive use.

Dustbunny1900 · 10/12/2017 21:43

That's really messed up that she doesn't seem to care you are cold and without tv or wifi while she hogs it all.
Her own mother

MsHarry · 10/12/2017 21:44

See teen threads. YANBU.

pigeondujour · 10/12/2017 21:49

Texting/messaging/phoning/being phoned by a boy, I would bet.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/12/2017 21:51

Teenagers are nearly all self-obsessed and incapable of considering anyone else's viewpoint. Probably the best way to deal with this situation is to be firm but cheerful - 'don't be a silly sausage, DD, it's too cold for us not to share the room...' etc.

DingDongDenny · 10/12/2017 21:52

Give her a choice - She has her 'own space' in her room with no heating or no Wifi, or you share the space which is YOUR ROOM

Maya12 · 10/12/2017 21:53

Wow, if I'd said that to my mum given the situation, I'd have been invited to find alternative accommodation. Of course you both get to sit in the only warm room. You can decide on to programmes together or take turns. If she wants to phone in private, she can leave the room for that.

Pringlepoo · 10/12/2017 21:56

No discussion. We'd be sharing a room. TBH that would have been the case from the start but there is no reason why you can't tell her that the current arrangement isn't working out as planned and you will be sharing a room from now on.

I missed if you gave her age but if she's an older teen, I'd tell her that if she didn't like it then there are some extra blankets in the cupboard.

If she's too young for that then she'll just have to deal with it.

As someone who deserately needs space and alone time myself, I know it might be a bit hard fof her but it's only short term and she needs to learn not to be so selfish and recognise other peopke's needs.

LilQueenie · 10/12/2017 21:59

move the couch in and use as a family room until the heating is sorted. why should she need her space exactly. lots of siblings share. she should realise that leaving everyone else in freezing conditions while she lives as lady muck is not on.

DiegoMadonna · 10/12/2017 22:01

I don't really get this, maybe I didn't understand your OP properly or maybe this is so absurd that I can't actually bring myself to believe it.

Your bedroom is the only one where the heating works? And so you are letting your DD sleep in there instead of you (it's already quite crazy that you're not just letting her share with you), and then she's demanding that you don't even go in there to watch TV in the warmth before bed?

This can't be for real.

IHeartDodo · 10/12/2017 22:04

Haha I can't believe you gave her your room and then let her kick you out of it!!
Take the room back and give her a choice - sleep in her own freezing but private room, or sleep on a mattress on your floor and share nicely!

chocatoo · 10/12/2017 22:07

GOOD GRIEF I can't believe that she is so selfish. She is being horrible. I would immediately go and have a very serious talk about her attitude. You should be sharing until both rooms have heating and WiFi.

Ellie56 · 10/12/2017 22:08

Absolutely agree that you should share the only warm room in the house. Tell her to either get over herself or sod off back to her own room.

Stop being a doormat.

Giraffey1 · 10/12/2017 22:11

Give her a choice. Either she shares the room with you until the heating is sorted, or she can go back into her own room. She might be a stroppy reenager but she is still being selfish.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/12/2017 22:12

Jesus wept, don’t be such a bloody doormat!

Get the little madam told. Tell her to take her stuff & go back to HER bedroom.

You’re doing her no favours allowing her to treat you like this.

I know most teenagers are incredibly selfish for a spell (regression to toddlers) but it doesn’t mean you have to allow it. They grow out of it much faster if you don’t indulge it.

shakingmyhead1 · 10/12/2017 22:14

DUDE! you need to take the power back! stick it to the man! she is a kid, you need to woman up and take charge! remind her she is warm because or your generosity in lending her YOUR warm room until the renovations are done and if she doesn't think she should share sometimes then perhaps you will move her out and turn the room into the family room until such time as the house is finished and maybe she should be showing some gratitude to you for being such a good caring mum ensuring that one room in the house is cosy for her

isadoradancing123 · 10/12/2017 22:20

I can't believe that you are allowing this behaviour, absolutely no way skulduggery you tolerate this