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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housing estate etiquette?

29 replies

Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 19:17

There are a couple of kids on our estate that play and ride their bikes across everyone’s front gardens and drives. Is this normal? I’ve not lived on an estate before now and wouldn’t dream of allowing my kids on other people’s. Our cars now been scratched twice by these kids but they’re feral and the parents don’t care.

OP posts:
WineGummyBear · 10/12/2017 19:20

There's no separate etiquette.

It's antisocial behaviour. These kids are trespassing and causing criminal damage.

WineGummyBear · 10/12/2017 19:21

Sounds rubbish OP but I don't know what to suggest. Call 101 and plant spiky bushes?

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 10/12/2017 19:30

You need to put something in the way so they can't do it anymore.

crazycatgal · 10/12/2017 19:39

Can you put up fences or bushes? I'd imagine if the children are like that then the parents won't listen to your concerns.

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 20:54

We’re not supposed to but we put up a push in fence and next door planted small trees, but we’ve been told they’ve got to be moved last week. Not sure what else to do? I’m fed up tbh just want to move but we can’t afford to yet.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 10/12/2017 20:56

Why aren't you allowed to do anything?

Sounds like those kids have zero boundaries and parents who would probably tell you to fuck off if you said anything if I'm honest.

Report it to 101 and mention where the kids are from if you know their address

chocolateorangeowls · 10/12/2017 20:58

We had this issue, would never live somewhere that I couldn't fence off my driveway/front garden again. It drove me crazy

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 21:03

It’s on the deeds that you can’t. I already got told off for planting flowers on the roadside. We wouldn’t have moved here if we’d known, we’re renting so at least we can move once we have the money to. Just pointless even having a garden really.

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 10/12/2017 21:05

Oh god, this. Someone on my estate fb page posted about children running across their lawns and causing damage and got totally piled on by a bunch of parents calling them child haters, telling them to get a life and saying they shouldn't live in a "family estate".
Some parents are twats.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 10/12/2017 21:10

Get a garden bench and some planters and add some “kerb appeal” Wink to your front garden. They are temporary and typical garden decoration so your landlord can’t really object.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 21:15

Unless you feel able to speak to the parents and think they will do something then you are just going to have to bide your time to move. It’s not your house and one of the benefits of renting is you can move. So it’s only your problem temporarily. It’s the house owners problem for a lot longer.

christmasrage · 10/12/2017 21:17

Is it a new build? Sometimes this happens because they want to keep the estate looking tidy while they sell the rest of the houses. They stop caring, then.

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 21:27

It’s not new and @Donny that’s what we tried but got told to move them.

It is lucky it’s temporary but do i really have to put up with the damage until then?! They’re kids so they’ll hardly get told off and the parents are obviously not bothered.

OP posts:
Babybauble · 10/12/2017 21:28

It's no different to any other area? Although i live on one and can confirm some shitty behaviour from parents who let their children run wild.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 10/12/2017 21:40

No way!! Who told you to move them? How can they dictate that you can’t have a garden bench and temporary planters??

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 21:41

Apparently on the deeds it’s specified there is to be no formal boundaries and there must only be lawn. I’d only put pots anyway so I could move them when we go but even that’s not allowed.

OP posts:
DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 10/12/2017 21:45

Pots and a bench aren’t a boundary. Who told you they were? Can you ask your LL for a copy of the deeds?

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 21:51

Unless you involve the police, and as the parents don’t care, then yes, you need to put up with the damage until then. I really can’t see how you can stop it and any action could escalate it. I’d just concentrate on moving. What’s that saying “not your circus, not your monkeys.”. It’s rented accommodation,it comes with problems, when you’re ready and able, move, rhe sooner the better.

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 21:52

No they’re not for a boundary but they’re also not just lawn. And yes we did this, she agreed it’s stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 21:53

@Bluntness100
Unfortunately I know you’re right but it’s going to be at least until the summer. 😭

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 21:57

It’s shit but it’s a hard , if not impossible, one to fix if the parents don’t care. And to be honest. The parents could be worse. You don’t want a vendetta. The type who let their kids do this shit, don’t tend to be the type who feel pleased you complained.

Just like lousy neighbours you could have encountered this anywhere. I’d try and park out of harms way and just do what you can to minimise any damage they cause and get the hell out of there.

Kidsarekarma · 10/12/2017 21:59

We lived on an estate that had the same rules and had children riding their bikes across our front lawn.

I told them off until they stopped doing it. Have you tried that OP?

Original poster
Lollipop30 · 10/12/2017 22:01

Tried and ignored.
And can’t really park anywhere safer than our own drive?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 10/12/2017 22:04

Who exactly told you to remove the fence? We had a clause in our deeds that said all front gardens have to be open plan but once the builders moved off site we planted a hedge which is now 3ft tall and other neighbours have put post and rail fences in. No one has commented.

We live on an estate where the houses on one side of the road are HA and on the other side they are privately owned. The lawns outside the HA houses seem to be a free for all and as the grass is cut by a contractor I guess the individual tenants can't really lay claim on the piece of lawn in front of their house (back gardens are fenced in and the responsibility of the tenant). However, this arrangement seems to lead the children playing on the street to believe that they can just roam across any garden in the street. I have caught them playing hide and seek down the side of my house in my front garden. I do not hesitate to tell them in the nicest possible way that they are not to play on my garden and they are usually very obliging and disappear immediately.

Have you actually tried speaking to the children concerned OP? Although I appreciate that disciplining other peoples' children seems to be unpopular on MN!

IndianaMoleWoman · 10/12/2017 22:07

Do you have a local PCSO? They can be really helpful in chatting to the kids/parents in these situations, but there may be some backlash if they really are as feral as you describe and/or they know it was you who complained. Is there another spot to park your car out of the way? The lawn isn’t your problem long term but obviously scratches are devaluing your car.

I wouldn’t go out myself, in fact I’d go out of my way to pretend I don’t care; unfortunately a lot of these kids only know negative behaviour as a way of getting attention and would like nothing more than winding up the angry lady who comes out and yells at them.

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