My DD is 2yrs 5 months. And has several extra needs (a suspected language disorder and hyper mobility) which require a bit of time at hospitals and clinics several times a month. She's not yet potty training and is probably a year away from being toilet trained as a minimum.
I am married to DDs dad, we both would love another child, sooner rather than later as we don't want a huge age gap. DH has a sister 6 years younger than him and they have nothing in common, will happily walk past each other in the street and not acknowledge each other, no major falling out they just don't get on. Whereas I am my brothers best friend. There's 18 months between us and we're always calling each other and text each other daily. We spend Christmas together and enjoy each others company - while I know there's no guarantees DD would get on with a sibling I think she'd be a brilliant big sister.
The paediatrician, her health visitor and the GP have all said DD is better being an only child. She is currently having SALT but it will not cure her language disorder and she will always need appointments for monitoring her and if she gets worse she'll need SALT again. She may eventually need a wheelchair due to the HM, so we need to plan housing around that. Basically they're saying it's unfair to bring another child into the situation, as there's no guarantee that they won't have the same conditions or be even worse than DD. DD may never live independently as an adult. She needs a lot of 1-1 attention, but I would only want one more child (have always only wanted one) and there's 2 of us parents.
But I am so desperate for another child. I'm 27, DH is 26 and I just can't imagine this is it for our family. DD is only little and we obviously don't know what the future holds for her but I'm worried that if things turn out better than everyone says because of course they will always give us the worst case scenario then I will feel awful about not having another child when we had the chance.
DH is happy to stay as a family of 3 or go for another child and become a family of 4,. We both work, him full time, me part time. We don't pay for childcare currently due to DDs conditions so could comfortably finance another child, although we may have to move in a few years time if DD ends up in a wheelchair as we'd want her to have a room downstairs but do currently have a spare room that another child could have as a bedroom.
So WIBU to start trying for another baby now? And WWYD if you were me?