to be upset that my children haven't been to invited to a birthday party

[happybiggirl]

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oh, i understand what you mean, i just stress the difference between the logic of a situation and the feeling.

is it unreasonable to expect your child to be invited / have a go at the parent if your child isn't invited / not invite child in retaliation - yes

is it unreasonable to feel upset (on behalf of your child) - no

your feelings are your feelings, they aren't unreasonable. your actions - now that's where you get into reasonable or not.

i don't know about other mums, but i feel very emotional about my boys, and very protective of them and i feel rejected on their behalf. would i make demands on other parents - no.

do you get me?

so my opinion on the op question is still no, she isn't unreasonable to feel upset. she would be unreasonable to go up to the mum and demand her child be invited, but that's not what she asked.

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I think it depends on the size of the party. If its a big party and your child is not invited despite having invited the b-day child, then it is...puzzling and I would be annoyed. If its a tiny party where numbers are limited I would not get upset.

My2pworth, have your sons had bday parties?

i threw one for my eldest. i invited his whole class.

a couple said sorry, they couldn't make it. no word from the rest, so i assumed they were coming.

i made LOTS of food, party bags etc, a HUGE cake...

1 boy showed up.

ONE.

i cried for ages. in fact, i think i'll start again now.

i have never organised one since. i am afraid to go through that again. it hurt so much.

Did they get the invitations?

i handed them out.

Then they're just bloody rude. What type of school does your Ds go to?

that's rude.

when we had parties as a child, it was invite the entire class or no one at all.

my dad's rule.

family came another time/day.

never had a class party before primary school, though.

just family ones.

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you mean sn/mainstream? he's supported in mainstream.

it's not stupid cod. bugger off before i batter you.

heehee battered cod.

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My2pworth I do feel for you.
My dd is nearly 4 so we haven't really got into the whole party thing yet. Last year she had to miss her own party due to chickenpox. This year her best pal has been invited to parties and she hasn't, but she's still too young to know. We can only afford a small party for her anyway, for her and about 5 friends.

Stupid?

How is teaching your kids about other peoples' feelings and some manners stupid?

Then how about if you can't fit them in your house you have the party elsewhere?

Sorry, but this pick and chose crap just teaches them pettiness, and the world has enough of that already.

btw i do think it's rude not to reply if you get an invite. I am not very organised but do manage a short phone call!

Battered cod!

Yum.

With chips.

Too bad it's such a rip off these days.

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'even really poor peopele?'

Oh, god forbid you invite really poor people!

Wouldn't want Cuthbert associating with the unwashed masses, after all.

They can decline the invite, after all.

Glad my kids don't go to such a school, tbh.

i'm really for my ds who's 5yrs. He's in a group of 60. split between 2 groups. His b.day was in Oct. He invited 20 of his mates/girlfriends. He has been invited to 2 since. I feel so, so, I don't know how to feel, I think sad. I can remember these days as a child and was always at parties. I would love for my DS to be 'Popular'. It just makes us think, why don't the other kids want to invite out son to their parties, we though he was great friends with x,y,z.

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dd starts school this year and no way would I be inviting the whole class! no, no. her close friends and thats it.

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