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AIBU?

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Original poster

Facebook photos

35 replies

sillysausage16 · 09/12/2017 17:39

My dp and I have been together for a year and recently got engaged. I was looking at his Facebook pics last night and noticed he still has all his pictures of him and his ex on there from 3 years ago. Would it be unreasonable to ask him to get rid of them?They have zero contact and haven't seen eachother or spoken to eachother since well before we got together.

They don't make me uncomfortable it just might seem strange to other people looking on his profile I suppose. Should this bother me?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/12/2017 17:42

I'm confused. Does it bother you or not?

It certainly sounds like it does to me.

Why are you bothered that some other people might be confused? Surely they can read the date they were posted? Confused

Jellybean85 · 09/12/2017 17:43

I don't think I've actively been through and deleted every picture of my ex Confused we were together 5 years. We were tagged together in a lot of pics, it would take ages to go through and delete them all, besides he was a part of my life no need to re write the past.
If they don't have contact and it was years ago it might be unreasonable to ask.

EB123 · 09/12/2017 17:44

No, you can't control what he keeps on his Facebook.

Original poster
sillysausage16 · 09/12/2017 17:46

I apologise for the confusion. It doesn't bother me as its in the past I just wanted to hear what other people's view would be, whether it SHOULD bother me

OP posts:
Theducksarenotmyfriends · 09/12/2017 17:47

If it doesn't bother you then there's no issue??

Ecureuil · 09/12/2017 17:47

I’ve been married for 5 years, with DH for 9. He still has all his pictures of his ex/the two of them together/holidays etc. As do I. I think it would be weirder if we went through and deleted them all! It’s part of our past.

Original poster
sillysausage16 · 09/12/2017 17:50

I'm just not very clued up about relationship etiqutte, he is my first relationship in 10 years and even though we've been together a year I still feel like I'm learning what to do every day

OP posts:
notacooldad · 09/12/2017 17:54

It seriously wouldn't be an issue.
The photos are part of his life and his past.
It's, on the strength of your post, a non issue.

Heck, my 20 year old son has pictures of his ex but his girlfriend doesn't thing anything about it.

misskatamari · 09/12/2017 18:16

It wouldn't bother me. I would be annoyed if someone asked me to delete past photos because there was an ex in them. To me old photos are just a nice record of times gone by

sausagerollsrock · 09/12/2017 18:18

Yabu. Everyone has a past and providing there is nothing in it now then I don't see a problem.

BackforGood · 09/12/2017 18:39

The only weird bit is the fact you were trawling through his photos from 3 years ago.
Most people have previous relationships. It is from that time of your life. Think it is odd that anyone would start trying to erase part of their past life, tbh.

kaytee87 · 09/12/2017 18:43

As long as he also had pictures of you two together and isn't using a picture of his ex as his profile picture then I don't see a problem.
Congratulations on your engagement, when will the wedding be? 💍

PinkHeart5914 · 09/12/2017 18:44

I don’t get why it’s a problem tbh

He has photos of his past, it happened they were together you can’t change the past. His life moved on, he met you and now presumably has photos of the two of you together

I think asking/demanding he takes them down would be over kill

Gottagetmoving · 09/12/2017 18:45

No, it shouldn't bother you.
It's part of who he is and there is nothing wrong in him keeping them on Facebook.
Who is going to go back three years on his profile anyway?....or stalk his old photos?

khajiit13 · 09/12/2017 18:46

Yanbu to ask, he would not be unreasonable to say no.

Trills · 09/12/2017 18:49

It would be unreasonable for it to bother you.

Photos of him and his ex up in his house would be wrong.

Photos on Facebook, I'd find it weirder if he'd gone back to delete them than if he'd left them up.

nousername123 · 09/12/2017 19:16

I presume most people on his Facebook are friends and would know his ex or have seen the pictures before? I haven't deleted pics of my ex on Facebook. I have no feelings whatsoever towards him and it never really occurred to me. I think it does bother you because you're bothered about what other people think. Have you discussed it with him?

Original poster
sillysausage16 · 09/12/2017 19:22

Yeah I think it's more about what other people would think seeing them. They aren't really far back just in his profile picture album lol I haven't been trawling through all his pics like a stalker.

I've mentioned it to him just casually and he said he has been thinking about deleting them as they keep coming up on his on this day thread. I wouldn't ask him to delete them but he said he would if I was bothered by them.

That's all I need to know really I'm secure in our relationship

OP posts:
ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 09/12/2017 19:28

I've got pictures of my ex from 10 years ago on my Facebook. He's a knobhead but I'm not sanitising my past for anyone. Unless they come up on my memories I don't see them. DH also has pictures of his ex. He was with her for ages, she's part of his life story. I think it would be weirder to go through and delete them than to leave them there.

Ecureuil · 09/12/2017 19:32

Why would people think anything? I imagine his Facebook friends know him well enough to know he was in a relationship before you?

AnonEvent · 09/12/2017 19:40

I'd be more worried about someone going to the effort to delete their past. It would indicate they cared too much about it.

I've got a few pictures of exs on facebook, it's quite nice as I no longer have pictures of them anywhere else (they were several phones-cameras ago).

LemonysSnicket · 09/12/2017 19:42

I have my pictures of my relationship with my ex from 4 years ago ... they have my friends in them, they are events I want to remember ... I’m not deleting my history because I was with someone before DP.
I think YABU

WhooooAmI24601 · 09/12/2017 19:42

I think him deleting them would be odd; she's part of his past and unless it ended terribly, it would be strange to erase her like she never existed.

RockinHippy · 09/12/2017 20:15

Yes, very U

Straycatblue · 09/12/2017 20:39

The only weird bit is the fact you were trawling through his photos from 3 years ago.

A little off topic, but why on earth wouldnt she? Shes marrying him.
Thats kinda what facebook is for, its not a private diary.
You display your life online for people to look through and back however long you allow them to.
The equivalent would be like saying that if he had physical photo albums in his house that he was happy for everyone who came to his house to look through that she shouldnt look through them.

If you didnt want people to scroll through your facebook photos then you wouldnt have them online for all your friends to see.

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