Facebook photos

[sillysausage16]

My dp and I have been together for a year and recently got engaged. I was looking at his Facebook pics last night and noticed he still has all his pictures of him and his ex on there from 3 years ago. Would it be unreasonable to ask him to get rid of them?They have zero contact and haven't seen eachother or spoken to eachother since well before we got together.

They don't make me uncomfortable it just might seem strange to other people looking on his profile I suppose. Should this bother me?

Yeah I think it's more about what other people would think seeing them
I seriously don't get this at all. I have female friends who also worry about what people may think about things!
What the hell does it matter. If they were to think anything I would guess it would be like 'Oh, there's a picture of whatever his name is with his ex'. Again, why does it matter if its that that they think.
It doesn't affect you how other people think. It sounds like you are assuming that they are going to think negative things.
All this wondering what other people think, especially if it is a negative thought is a complete waste of time and emotional energy because 1 you are not a mind reader or psychic ( well you may be, I'm guessing not) and 2 It doesn't affect your life in any shape or form and you can;t control peoples thoughts anyway.

FB wasn't around when I had an ex but I still have loads of photos of our time together. Why not, it was fun and there is a lot of happy memories there.

I don't think it bodes well for your relationship if you're asking him to erase his pre-you life! What happened before you is what made him the man you fell in love with.

Me & DH have been together for 8 years and don't have ex's on our facebooks but there wasn't any particularly significant ones (more than a few months) before we got together and anyway social media wasn't really big back then so the very few photos we both had were deleted.

I think it's really different if it's a long term relationship / there's kids involved etc... I'd never delete photos of my DH if we ever split now.

I only came on here to see how other people would see this as I said I'm so out of practice in relationships and sometimes misjudge what is acceptable: I haven't asked him to remove anything from his Facebook at all

Yabu. My OH has photos of him and his exes on. Never once did it even cross my mind to ask him to delete them because I know we all have a past and am secure in my relationship

I deleted my photos because I didn’t want a reminder of him. My dp has no photos of his ex and never put any of her on there! I am not sure about this but I think I would wonder why?

Hmm, maybe my friends and I are odd but when a relationship ends we end up taking down all the lovey couple-y photos, or removing our tags on them. I wouldn’t erase an ex on social media, but I would remove old pics of just the two of us etc. They’re anyway likely to only be a handful, and it’s just the same as taking them down from a real mantelpiece imo. I wouldn’t do it for a new partner per se, but given we all google each other it’d seem odd to be out dating someone new if your SM was full of old pics with exes.

Anyway, if it doesn’t bother you it doesn’t bother you. It would seem odd to me! But I’d probably mention it once to partner and drop it - definitely not police their social profile etc. They probably don’t realise they’re on there!

I think it's totally normal to have pics of your ex on FB! Especially if you didn't have some awful acrimonious break up. I'd find it a bit weird and off-putting if my dp had deleted all trace of his "pre-me" life. He's nothing to hide so he isn't hiding it if that makes sense.

Congratulations and enjoy wedding planning!

ZaphodBeeblerox...I agree.

I hold no resentment toward my ex but have done the same thing. I personally would choose to remove any pictures of the two of us, although wouldn't necessarily remove a group photo. I don't see it as erasing my life but imo an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't want a reminder on Facebook. It does not mean I "care" about the relationship too much as a pp said, it is just my choice to do so. Out of respect for current dp too I would rather not have any photos of an ex up also. I wouldn't have them up in my house, or in a photo album, so why social media? It's really just a modern way of displaying photos. I don't think it's necessary for dp, his family and friends to see pictures of me and my ex hugging or holding hands etc?! Each to their own though!

I don't believe there is a right answer to this. Only you know your dp and whether he would be okay with a request to remove them, although I am aware you haven't actually suggested you want him to.

Congratulations on your engagement!

Clearly going against the grain here, but I wouldn't like it.

Of course everyone has a past but I don't think photos need to be out there on fb for all to see, but then fb is a pain in the arse at the best of times.