To think the term School 'REFUSAL' should be banned?

[taratill]

I think it is a terrible term to use for a child who is unable to attend school and is an excuse for schools, LEA's the government to blame mental health problems / anxiety problems in school on the child.

I have first hand experience of this and had a child who was classed a school 'refuser' as a result of the fact that he had massive anxiety/ undiagnosed ASD and was unable to attend for a period of 6 months last year. Rather than give him support, in the first instance, when he started to get anxious and not want to go he was branded as naughty and defiant and quite ridiculously threatened with exclusion because he was scared to go into the class room. His anxiety wasn't addressed and he started to threaten to self harm and was eventually deemed until to go to school by mental health workers.

Happily now we have got to the root of the anxieties and have a good new school he has gone back but needs a number of interventions in the classroom/ school environment to cope. If he had had these and school had listened in the first place he may never have had to have time off, sigh!

I've read on a post today some quite judgemental comments about 'school refusal' and think the term itself is so damaging as the implication is that it is the child or the parents fault.

Just really winds me up, that's all.

We're going around in circles

But of course we are - because you want to be trusted to always know best, with or without a diagnosis and professional advice and schools can't always operate like that. Some schools are more understanding than others, but none can get it right all the time any more than parents get it right all the time. Sometimes, parents don't even want to take professional opinions and advice, because they feel they know their children best and any advice is perceived as criticism of their parenting and unfair. Then everyone gets defensive, because parents are busy blaming the school for being unreasonable and the school is busy thinking the parents are being unreasonable - at which point, all trust is lost, because everyone got defensive...

But, as has already been established on this thread, getting seen by professionals can be a very long process
I'm not disputing that!

I've said that time and time and time agaib on yhis thread.

I've said there are problems with the system countless times.

It doesn't change the fact that the school simply cannot say why a child is not attending.

@IHaveBrilloHair
Does your daughter have an asd diagnosis?
I am currently going through this with my dd and she doesn't quite fit with asd but I am convinced she had PDA. She has terrible anxiety and just can't do many things including going to school, medical appointments even things she loves some times. She can also be controling about family life and I have realised that this is due to her anxiety. She also has sensory issues which are escalated by her anxiety and prevent her from dressing some days and stop her from doing many things that she used to love.
I have been told you can't have pda without asd though. I am waiting to have her assessed for ADD so am going to ask again.

A lot of it depends on the relationships that already exist. If parents and/or school are defensive and unwilling to work with the other party that automatically creates barriers.

If both parties are able to work together for what is the best for the child then that will help and will mean when the Child is unable to attend the school is more likely to understand.

you want to be trusted to always know best, with or without a diagnosis and professional advice and schools can't always operate like that. Some schools are more understanding than others, but none can get it right all the time any more than parents get it right all the time
This ^^

It is very complex.
No 2 cases are identical.
There are issues with the system undoubtedly.

However, we can't take what is said at face value because there are children who come to harm when we take what is said at face value.
I can think of one where parent was citing school reufsal due to anxiety and what actually followed was years of work wrh social services due to safeguarding issues.

Say a school goes 'ok home day it's probably anxiety but there's a wait on getting help' and school acvept this, but the child homes to harm. Nobody is going to tell the school 'don't worry. Aftet all the parent says...'

One size doesn't fit all with any system, so things have to be designed to try and work with the resources and constraints thry have

I agree that all parties can end up getting defensive.

Perhaps if the phrase "school refusal" was dropped from common usage then there might be more understanding on all sides .

And I don't think anyone has responded to the point a couple of us made yesterday - if a child with a physical disability was not going to school because they physically couldn't get into the building eg no ramp, would that child be called a "school refuser"?

My DD has been to school twice in the last four weeks. She wants to go to school but her psychological isuues mean that she can't. She's now at the point where she's taking allergic reactions and we think that they are psychsomatic. Our GP has seen her 4 times in the last fortnight and can find nothing physically wrong. The CAMHS Crisis Team are referring her to a psychiatrist and seeing her 3 times a week. Her class teacher says that she spends six hours a day crying and shouldn't be in school. I've requested a meeting with the head and been ignored but I expect a letter threatening fines.
My daughter isn't refusing school. She's ill.

brokenshoes - like hell a change of term would change anything. Children persistently or regularly absent from school will still be missing out on an education and will still be pestered by the school and will still have long waits for professional help and will still have defensive, anxious parents.

brokenshoes - a physically disabled child who turned up to school and couldn't physically get in would not be a school refuser, because they have turned up at school ready and willing to learn and tried to access the building. They are being refused something, but have not refused to do anything themselves. This does not mean that a school refuser is less disabled because their disability relates to their mental health, it just means they actually have refused to go to school.

See my definition of the term "refuse" in my 09.19 today.

The barriers to a child not being able to go to school, even if they want to, are not just physical.

Sorry, that's not my definition, it's from the Collins dictionary.

But school refusers are not willing to go to school. This doesn't mean that it will do them any good to be forced to go in unwillingly, but the fact remains, this is what they are often made to do, kicking and screaming. The reason for their unwillingness is the issue, as there is 100% of the time a reason for a child to be unwilling to go to school, so it's ridiculous to argue that your reasons are any better than any other child's and therefore deserve a different label that doesn't mean anything meaningfully different. It's training and support that is lacking, not the correct label. These children often are able to attend school in the right circumstances.