To think the term School 'REFUSAL' should be banned?

[taratill]

I think it is a terrible term to use for a child who is unable to attend school and is an excuse for schools, LEA's the government to blame mental health problems / anxiety problems in school on the child.

I have first hand experience of this and had a child who was classed a school 'refuser' as a result of the fact that he had massive anxiety/ undiagnosed ASD and was unable to attend for a period of 6 months last year. Rather than give him support, in the first instance, when he started to get anxious and not want to go he was branded as naughty and defiant and quite ridiculously threatened with exclusion because he was scared to go into the class room. His anxiety wasn't addressed and he started to threaten to self harm and was eventually deemed until to go to school by mental health workers.

Happily now we have got to the root of the anxieties and have a good new school he has gone back but needs a number of interventions in the classroom/ school environment to cope. If he had had these and school had listened in the first place he may never have had to have time off, sigh!

I've read on a post today some quite judgemental comments about 'school refusal' and think the term itself is so damaging as the implication is that it is the child or the parents fault.

Just really winds me up, that's all.

Using that term was the only way the school my daughter was at to even consider dealing with the on going bullying.... we pulled her out in the end anyway.

@kaytee thank you. The difference a diagnosis and a good senco makes is incredible! DS will always have difficulties but at least he now has understanding.

@brokenshoes yes I think that might work, it would cover all non intentional absences.

This is a good blog post on the subject:

itmustbemum.wordpress.com/2017/12/08/just-imagine-if-adults-were-treated-like-some-of-our-children/

I think you're right. "school anxiety" might be a better term

I dont have any issue with my teens going to school. So no experience at all.
But I agree with the OP. From my very far pov (and one that a lot of people will have), ‘School refuser’ has a very negative connotation. It tells of a child WILLINGLY refusing to go to school, one tat is naughty and should know better.
Not of a child that is actually ill with MH and is refusing to go because they can’t cope.

One of the big issue is that it puts the ‘naughty’ children who skip school in the sam bag than those who just cannot go to school (because of anxiety etc...).
There is a need for a different word for those who are ill and those who aren’t iyswim.
Esp because they need very different interventions.
But I suspect it’s easier to label a child a ‘school refuser’ because then the ball is in the court of the parents rather than the school (who would then need to put things in place). I have no doubt some schools will Be playing in that to avoid their responsibility of care.

@brokenshoes I've not seen that one before but it sums it up perfectly.

Agree OP.
My Dd did this and of course it was a parenting problem, as is her self harm, anxiety, obsessions, need for routine, violence etc, etc.
The only diagnosis we have is that she has a toxic parent, (me).
She has PDA. (which of course doesn't exist).

I understand where you're coming from but I also think YABU.

School refusal is an accurate term to describe children who get distressed at the very idea of coming to school and won't actually come.
Not all school refusers have a mental illness or ASD (though I would say that they are all likely to be in a state of poor mental health). Some refuse to come to school due to bullying or because there is something specific about the school environment that they don't like or can't cope with. Those children are not unable to come to school; they are refusing to (with good reason but still a refusal)

School anxiety doesn't work as an alternative because lots of children who are anxious about school are in school. The name needs to make it clear that the school refusing children are not in school.

I don't think a truant would be described as a school refuser unless the truancy was rooted in unhappiness or anxiety. I see truancy as having (obvious) negative connotation but I don't think that school refusal does particularly. It is widely understood to mean that the child is in significant distress.

I have a "school refuser" and to be honest, the term doesn't bother me because he's literally refusing to go to school. He's had 2 separate bouts of refusing to go to school. His last few years of primary school where at an SN school (diagnosed ASD at age 4). He started refusing to go again in his last year of primary school. I obviously know it stems from his anxiety being at school and he has separation anxiety. But his anxiety makes him refuse to go. He's now Home Educated. He's only 12 and I'd like to think he could maybe go back to school one day but there's very little support for this refusal. The SN school he was at said they had done all they can and I just need to get him to school.

I care less about what it's called and just wish there was more help and support rather than threats of being reported for non attendance.

There could be many reasons that a child refuses to go to school, anxiety is just one of them. I know a child who refuses to go because he can't see the point.

That's precisely why it's wrong to describe them all the same way. The sort of issue OP is talking about is better described as school phobia.

I take your point. Refusal sounds like a child has just decided they’re not going to go and is behaving badly.

And you could apply Refusal to lots of issues such as Agoraphobia- leaving your home refusal; anorexia - food refusal etc. They make the sufferer sound like they’re deliberately choosing to not do something instead of them being unable to.

I'm not sure for Dd that it was school anxiety either, I think it was her beginning to realise she was different and hugely clinging on to me, for reassurance I still loved her, but she was unable to put it into words.
She just needed to be with me.
Dd is very highly functioning and an expert masker, trying to explain that to anyone is a nightmare.

I agree with you OP. I have dealt/am dealing with similar. It’s bloody tough.

I think something like “obstacle to education” could be used to refer to these situations. Because refusal does sound like it’s just a choice the child has made when actually there is something that has driven them to feel the have no other choice. The “something” is the obstacle that needs dealt with so we need to name the problem, not the symptom (school refusal).

One of the big issue is that it puts the ‘naughty’ children who skip school in the sam bag than those who just cannot go to school (because of anxiety etc...).

The thing is school refusal is a broad term.

It's like SEN which includes lots of situations. You don't assume anything because a child as SEN. A child who is 'educated other than at school' covers a whole range of alternative edcuation provision but doesn't say what.
Same with school refusal. SEN states a child has an additionls need but doesn't say what. EOTAS states ghe child is educated with provision other than school but doesn't say what or why. School refusal states what is happening but doesn't comment on the details/reasons.

MaisyI really don't think that I am reading too much into it
I should have seen this before writing my other reply to another poster.

With thr best will in the world you've now said you have very little interest in discussion and just want everyone to agree that you are right, it is negative rtc.

I never understand people posting in AIBU if thrn when people reasonably respond what they get is 'but you are wrong and i am right'. If ypu think you are totally reasonable then why bother asking.

I suppose the difference is if you were too anxious or mentally ill to go to work, they can sack you. So it is a different set up to work. Education is a right, work is not.

bananasaregood
That is the school's poor handling of a diagnosed medical issue rather than a problem with the term schoolr refusal.

@MaisyPops the ops child tried to commit suicide and a week later she was being told she would be fined for not sending him to school. Have some compassion eh

but maisy I think that's the point.

Labelling it as school refusal is very easy for schools/ lea's etc. They can blame the child/ parent and not look at the causes if they treat it with such a broad brush approach.

When my child first started 'refusing' do you know he was never once asked what the matter was by school? The only concern was the absence not the reasons for it. It completely shocked me because I would, at the very least, have thought there would be an enquiry as to welfare and problems at home.

Yes all SEN is dealt with on the same register but the interventions will be different depending on the need so I don't think that comparison works.

And I don't think it is right to simply talk about naughty children refusing to go to school. My first boyfriend came from a nightmare family. Mother was borderline alcoholic, dad was no contact, there were 5 kids. Some of his siblings rarely went to school. But it is an oversimplification to say they were simply naughty. They were actually very neglected children.

maisy don't be ridiculous, I'm interested in all views it doesn't mean I have to agree with you (which I don't).

I agree op, I've had this situation with my ASD dc and now home ed. I would like nothing better than my DC to be able to happily attend school. It's very stressful and upsetting to see them so distressed and home ed is hard work and not something I would have chosen to do, not to mention all the judging from others that you're a shit parent who hasn't tried hard enough to make them go

Bratsy I completely agree. Most kids want to be with their peers at school.

Richie the views of other parents is one of the hardest things to handle. If your child goes to school happily it can be hard to imagine circumstances in which another child won't so the assumption is that parents are not firm enough.