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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nurse asked if I was pregnant.

50 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:07

Went to get my sons preschool booster today. Went into the room sat down. Son sat next to me. I explained to the nurse that son was very nervous about his injections and she said "are you pregnant?" I was I abit like Confused I said "no" but obviously felt very awkward after that. A couple of minutes later my baby in the pram started crying and she said "oh you've just had a baby that's why" Hmm now I know I put on a lot of weight in pregnancy and not helped that it was a second emcs but aibu in thinking a nurse should know better than to ask this! Needless to say the diet starts today.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/12/2017 13:10

Why don't people think before they speak.
((((((((()))))))

Cornettoninja · 08/12/2017 13:11

Was your son having a flu vaccine? I think the child's spray one is live so maybe she just wanted to warn you. You've had your baby so would of presumably already had your flu one.

Maybe it's that.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 08/12/2017 13:11

Is it something they just have to ask every woman?

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:13

She ended up saying how "great I looked" after I explained that it's the csection hang over and not a baby. But couldn't help but feel she was obviously lying and I left feeling like a huge blob!

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:13

No preschool booster . And it never been asked when I've taken the baby which is 3 times.

OP posts:
WineIsTheAnswer · 08/12/2017 13:21

I would presume it would be about positioning DS for the Jab not a personal attack. She might go belly to belly rather than side ways on where DS may elbow/knee you. She was being cautious. I fear she might of asked me the same even 6 years after having DS.

6demandingchildren · 08/12/2017 13:32

I had a friend of DH ask me, I'm 45 and just fat, but it still hurts

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:34

But she said "oh you've just had a baby that's why" why what? Must have meant that's why I still look pregnant. Rather than the position.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 08/12/2017 13:37

The majority of woman weigh more after recently having a baby. Four months after a baby you can look the same as four months pregnant.
She most likely did mistake you le post birth body as early pregnancy but I wouldn't be upset by that, it's a normal way to look.

oldlaundbooth · 08/12/2017 13:39

She sounds a bit dim to be fair.

Sirzy · 08/12/2017 13:41

Especially if she knew he was nervous she probably checked so she could position him appropriately if needed.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:42

I wouldn't have been upset if it was a random person (ok slightly so!) but it was more that surely a nurse should be aware that she shouldn't be asking random women if they're pregnant. Breastfeeding unfortunately makes me seriously hungry so I haven't lost anything! Probably gained...

OP posts:
user1468353179 · 08/12/2017 13:42

When I had my son I was walking back from the bathroom and one of the nursed asked me when I was being induced. My son was one day old!

kateandme · 08/12/2017 13:43

there are some rely insensitive people hu.n.think she mean this.what she did mean I'm not sure but surely not to be so cruel.
but...even if she did then bugger to her.look at how she has made you feel.its her choice to feel and shove that meaness out there but if yours to take it on.your so much more than a belly,skin.weight.
I know youll never get passed that comment no matter what I say but its just words and nonsense.your beautiful because you shine from within.how many different looking mothers and there dcs went into have an apt before you.were they all looking slim.toned.were they tall short.thin fat.spotty.brown haired or ginger.where is the judging and where does it end.your you with your lovely dc.you lovely skin that grew a child.that helps you walk straight every day.
please please don't start a diet from crass comments.you don't need to be thinner you need to be happy.you need to be you.why is thinner better.why less skni better.less overhang?really,why?
its a covering of a good sensitive heart.dont take it on.

DontFundHate · 08/12/2017 13:47

I imagine she asked to remind you to book your pregnancy flu jab? Still very hurtful! I hope you don't mind me saying but I also gained weight during bf as I carried on eating cake even when baby was weaning! Slimming world is fab when you're bf

MrRayaUmasTurban · 08/12/2017 13:50

Are you in your late thirties or early forties, OP? It seems popular to ask this question of women with a baby at this 'late stage', like we must all be charging to get as many out as possible before we're old crones!

Kentnurse2015 · 08/12/2017 13:55

She might have asked because if the live vaccine and noted your reaction. Possibly a very slight change in attitude towards her (attitude is the wrong word but I can't think of the right one!)

She might then have tried to make you feel at ease by noting your baby as in 'you've just had a baby so you're unlikely to be pregnant again'

If that makes sense?

It would be odd for her to comment on you personally. If she did she is breaking the NMC code really so I would assume she had a reason to ask

LBOCS2 · 08/12/2017 13:56

My assumption would be that she asked to ensure that you got your flu jab too. My GP asks me if I visit them in the winter season, because they're trying to make sure that all vulnerable people are getting them if they need them. They sometimes ask if I'm asthmatic too - but mainly if I'm pregnsnt.

SanFranBear · 08/12/2017 13:58

I got asked that by the registrar on my wedding day - DD was 11 months at that point..

I just laughed it off as I was so happy then - oh how times change - but I can see how it could be incredibly hurtful.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:59

Like I said baby has had 3 injections and never been asked. They are live aswell surely?
I'm in my 20s.

Will look into slimming world thanks it's definitely given me a kick to start (Was going to wait till baby was abit older before starting a diet)

OP posts:
sinceyouask · 08/12/2017 14:05

OP, sometimes HCPs are just on autopilot like the rest of us. When ds3 was 2 weeks old I went to see my GP, wearing ds3 in a wrap sling on my chest. During the appointment I was asked if I was pregnant Grin Grin

Kentnurse2015 · 08/12/2017 14:09

Some of the first 3 injections are live but it's not common for a mum to be knowingly pregnant again for those (I know it happens, just not common). Flu is very dangerous in pregnancy so she may have needed to confirm for her notes

JonSnowsWife · 08/12/2017 14:11

YNBU.

Mamabear4180 · 08/12/2017 14:12

don't go on a diet today over another person's thoughtlessness. If you've recently had a baby and are BF too then you need lots of energy. There should be zero shame in being overweight after a baby. I am still a stone heavier than I was pre kids and they are now almost 3 and 17 months old. I will get around to losing weight when I'm ready but I'm too knackered at the moment. With my eldest (now 14) it took 3 years but I did get back to being slim. It matters not a jot, don't let things affect you if you can help it. It's hard after a baby, you just don't feel like yourself but it's all worth it and you will be yourself another day!

Chrys2017 · 08/12/2017 14:21

The nurse is not personally interested in whether you are pregnant or not. Medical people routinely have to ask if women are pregnant as it's contraindicated for many routines/blood tests/injections etc.

But she said "oh you've just had a baby that's why" why what?

You've just had a baby so that's why you aren't pregnant, perhaps?
I wouldn't read too much into it.
I'm sure you aren't the fattest person she's ever seen.