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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nurse asked if I was pregnant.

50 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 13:07

Went to get my sons preschool booster today. Went into the room sat down. Son sat next to me. I explained to the nurse that son was very nervous about his injections and she said "are you pregnant?" I was I abit like Confused I said "no" but obviously felt very awkward after that. A couple of minutes later my baby in the pram started crying and she said "oh you've just had a baby that's why" Hmm now I know I put on a lot of weight in pregnancy and not helped that it was a second emcs but aibu in thinking a nurse should know better than to ask this! Needless to say the diet starts today.

OP posts:
InappropriateUsername · 08/12/2017 14:22

A lady in a shop said to me ‘not long now ey’...my 8 week old was outside with my sister...I had gone from a 12/14 to 22 in one pregnancy and I did look preggers. To be fair I think people are mostly careful but sometimes things come out before you engage brain. I was worried when a nurse acted surprised when I said I was pregnant, at 30 weeks, as then thought I just looked fat so from then on constantly rubbed my belly to give a pregnancy vibe

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 14:27

I wasn't the patient though so why does she have to ask me questions? Like I said never been asked with the babies injections...

OP posts:
Kentnurse2015 · 08/12/2017 14:35

Because flu is dangerous in pregnant women!

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 14:44

I've never had the flu injection in any of my 4 pregnancies. Do they ask all woman every time they visit the gp if they are pregnant then? I doubt it. Since I've never been asked in any other appointments ever.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 08/12/2017 14:45

But why do we so upset over someone not being able to tell if you are pregnant or post partum? It's not easy to tell. Womens bodies vary immensely, both in pregnancy and out of it. Own your body, you made a baby.

Kentnurse2015 · 08/12/2017 14:51

They will ask women who take a child to have a live flu vaccine because contracting flu when pregnant is so dangerous. Not every trip to the GP but certainly a trip like yours may need the HCP to ask. Please don't be so offended.

Your choice not to have the vaccine before.

If you are seriously concerned complain to your GP practice.

I know I have been asked about pregnancy with a newborn. It hasn't bothered me. Just enjoy your children and move on

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 14:54

He didn't have the flu vaccine. It was the preschool booster of mmr and polio.

OP posts:
Kentnurse2015 · 08/12/2017 15:01

MMR is also live - the rubella vaccine is live and rubella is very dangerous to pregnant women.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 15:04

Just weird I wasn't asked it with any of the 3 babies injections but fair enough (would rather it not be that I look pregnant obviously!)

OP posts:
user1470420871 · 08/12/2017 15:08

Ugh why don't people think before they open their mouths? My idiot husband said really loudly on the post natal ward after my son was born "its weird why do all you mums still look pregnant" I could of killed him.

You've had a baby and your body has changed, it's normal. Be kind to yourself. Xx

becotide · 08/12/2017 15:14

it's nothing to do with her "just checking" - she was thoughtless, and she knew it, which is why she made such a fuss about how great you look.

It's normal to still be a bit swollen after having a baby, and it does look like early pregancy

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 15:14

yeh just remembered my ex said after I had my first "wow your bellies still really big!" That was a week pp

OP posts:
RestingGrinchFace · 08/12/2017 15:26

I would have replied "no-are you?" But I am a bit snarky.

DiegoMadonna · 08/12/2017 15:31

Do you look pregnant?

Witchend · 08/12/2017 15:34

I was asked the other day when taking ds in on a totally unrelated. We had a bit of a chuckle about it, and she said they'd been told to ask because of offering the flu vaccine.
She did ask in a "I'm sure you're not, but just to check" type way though, but my youngest is 10yo, I think it wouldn't have been asked so offhandly if he'd been 3yo.

MatildaTheCat · 08/12/2017 15:45

It’s normal to still look a bit pregnant for a while after having a baby, let alone a CS. But look, she was just making conversation and got it wrong. She wasn’t being spiteful or mean, she made a mistake.

She probably felt mortified.

Let it go?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/12/2017 15:52

My "baby" is 18 and I still look bloody pregnantXmas Grin

TittyGolightly · 08/12/2017 15:54

I had PUPPS which was not picked up until about a week after I had DD. When I took the prescription for steroids into the pharmacist she refused to give them to me because “I was clearly pregnant”. I asked if she wanted to come and meet the newborn that was waiting in the car with my husband. She was mortified.

PerspicaciaTick · 08/12/2017 15:55

What did she think you had in the pram before your baby cried. Did she think you were pushing it about for shits and giggles?

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 08/12/2017 15:56

It's obviously not about positioning your son. The follow up comment of "That's why" makes it very clear why she asked you.

YANBU. She was tactless at the least and definitely should know better.

YABU to go on a diet though. Don't we all know by now that they don't work?

LastOneDancing · 08/12/2017 16:00

My first thought was that she's asked if you're pregnant because then you would qualify for the jab too.
She then could have done yours first - 'oh look Mummy's fine, only a scratch etc etc.'

If you looked a bit pregnant, and she thought you might need to have a jab too, and it might have helped your son, then she was not unreasonable to ask.

But yeah, not sure about the 'that's why' bit.

roundaboutthetown · 08/12/2017 16:05

Obviously she didn't mean to hurt your feelings and obviously you do still look pregnant... Going on a diet won't necessarily help anyway - it could make you look more and more pregnant, given that fat people just look fat, whereas recently pregnant people have weakened stomach muscles, so often still look pregnant for some time after, particularly if they are otherwise slim so it can't be confused with obesity... Whilst it was embarrassing to be asked, I therefore wouldn't go making any drastic diet decisions in response if I were you!

Abijam · 08/12/2017 16:14

+1 to Mamabear. Don't let it get to you! Just forget what the nurse said. Its a free world and anyone can say anything they want and we just need to take in only what is good for our system.
Only work on getting your self slim once you are fit enough because you need energy to take care of the baby and if you are breast feeding too.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 16:31

I don't think I look pregnant because my belly is flabby and saggy :( rather than hard and round. I think I just look fat! But now I'm guessing people must be thinking I'm pregnant. I wanted to diet anyway as I did gain a lot.

OP posts:
roundaboutthetown · 08/12/2017 17:19

Unless she poked you hard in the stomach, she wouldn't have known your stomach was still stretched from having a baby in it but now actually empty rather than hard, though, ThisLittleKitty!

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