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AIBU?

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Original poster

Local Council has banned teacher gifts

145 replies

Originalfoogirl · 08/12/2017 11:55

Our Local Authority has advised schools to send a letter to parents stating that they should not buy Christmas gifts for teachers as it goes against their policy on employees accepting gifts.

Our school has not sent a letter (yet), but it's very well publicised locally that others have.

I'm not big on teacher gifts anyway but did want to give a little something to her TAs who are excellent and go above and beyond. Should I ignore what I know, given the school haven't (yet) sent a letter. They are really bad at timings and I expect a letter on the second to last day or something! Not ideal if you have already bought something.

Or, would making a donation to the school be a better idea?

Thoughts?

OP posts:
SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 10/12/2017 18:04

I buy a present of benefit to the whole class team (stationery related).

Last year, DS's teacher appreciated being able to write clearly on the white board for the rest of the year. Everyone wins.

I remember giving my teachers Body Shop gift sets through the 80s and 90s, so it's not a new culture to me. The number of times I see my DCs trouping off through the playground in the morning and feel deep relief that they are now their teacher's concern for the next 6 hours... I think they deserve a token of appreciation!

NorWoman · 10/12/2017 18:10

That's a very good move. Present giving totally out of hand around here, costing ££.

I'd like for Christmas cards to be ditched in school too. 30X30 cards 900 cards in one class alone. Madness.

MaisyPops · 10/12/2017 18:29

My DS's class are proper 'collection parents'. Every Christmas and Summer
See i'm not a fan of organised / pressured giving.
If some parents who are friends decide they'd rather do something together than separate then fine, but I feel a bit Confused about the entire class reps, collection for teachers things.

Maybe it's because I'm secondary so any class presents (GCSE/a level leavers usually) tend to be done by students who sort what they like out but there's something a bit unsettling to me having parents collect from other parents.

EdithFinch · 10/12/2017 18:35

Present giving totally out of hand around here, costing ££.

Only if you let it! Why do you feel the need to enter some weird gift competition? It's a shame if others are no longer able to give a token because some parents are so competitive

Christmas cards are great for the younger years, it helps them practice their writing. If you don't want your children to give a card, you don't have to.

sailorcherries · 10/12/2017 23:24

If I were to receive a gift I'd appreciate something the entire class can use, something I don't then need to buy, over chocolates and wine. Glue sticks, cheap colouring pencils, a few plain primark shirts (mens shirt buttoned up backwards make excellent painting aprons!) and so on.

I've already said letters and cards come out on top for me and I'd prefer no money spent on gifts but if a parent really wanted to then the above would be great.

Alternatively, if collections are the done thing I'd like to go down the route my DSis work has adopted (not education). A nearby shopping centre has a tree which a charity places tags on. Each tag has the gender, age and interests of a local child in need; one who will get nothing at Christmas or any other point in the year. You then buy a present or presents for that child. It would make my heart burst if my class donated towards a worthy cause like that, instead of spending money on myself.

leccybill · 10/12/2017 23:45

Sailor, that's fantastic- I'd love to hear that my class had done that too.
DD's school and my workplace have moved to Unicef gifts over Christmas cards. There's been a few hints that parents should donate Unicef gifts as teacher presents if they'd prefer, too.

Just as an aside, I'm high school and our students are wonderfully generous, selfless and giving. We've had a bit of an onslaught of donating lately (Remembrance, Children in Need, Homeless, Food bank, local hospice) and it's lovely to see them giving their pocket money, time, and gratitude, especially as it's not a well-off area at all. Seeing them be so kind is enough reward for me. Better than any gift.

Original poster
Originalfoogirl · 10/12/2017 23:53

Balfe

The problem is, there have been different schools sending different letters, ours sent none at all so it's all been a bit confusing. Even the "statement" is unclear. It says employees of the council, including teachers should not accept gifts, but if they accept gifts it should be recorded. But that's not actually what their own policy says. So, not a false story just utter confusion.

cazzyg

There's a name I haven't heard for a while! Nice to see you.

OP posts:
raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 11/12/2017 00:04

I'm surprised. We always give the treachers a gift. Nothing big - a £3 box of chocolates usually (there are 5 teachers for our 2 DC).

I really appreciate what they do - I thought giving presents was pretty normal. No idea what the competitive gift buying is about - the DC give the present to their teachers. How on earth would I know what other parents have bought?

CaptainHarville · 11/12/2017 00:38

I only buy a gift if one of my children want me to. I avoided the collections made last year which with 3 kids in school would have cost me £30! I thought the fact that two primary school teachers organised the collections was decidedly off too.

I do like the idea of buying stuff for the classroom though. I might suggest that.

Not sure primary teachers deserve it more than any other. From what I've seen the younger the year group the higher the number of presents. I'm sure all teachers across year groups work equally hard so I don't think it's about rewarding their hard work.

malificent7 · 11/12/2017 04:59

This is pc gone mad. Since when should teachers presents be subject to taxation?
If i get dds teacher a gift its because i apprechiate her efforts. No other agenda.

PathOfLeastResitance · 11/12/2017 06:22

If I want to give a present to teachers or TAs, or anyone else for that matter then I will. It’s my choice and a letter from school wouldn’t change my course of action on this particular issue. They work hard and I’ll give recognition for that (with wine) if I want to.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 11/12/2017 06:45

A previous poster mentioned it, but I also give every one of my children an advent chocolate and small present (think rubber or pencil) and a Christmas present. Baker Ross is great for that. I am very aware that my children don’t get very much from home so I get them something they can do or play with. Last year I bought them a make your own toolbox (storage box) to store their stuff in at home. This year, I have got them all a make your own wind up toy.

Even still, I do not expect a present from a single child. In my class, there are 4 adults who work with the children (2 are 1:1 but still support the others when they can). Buying something for £2 for each adult could be a family’s last £8. I don’t want that spent on me and my team. I buy them presents to show them how much I appreciate them on behalf of myself and the children.

MistressDeeCee · 11/12/2017 06:54

Good. It will stop people trying to sucking up to teachers. Theres no need to buy a teacher a gift. It was never a good trend to start. A Christmas card is perfectly acceptable.

malificent7 · 11/12/2017 07:50

Why isnt buying a teaher a gift a good treñd?

I teach and the best gifts ive had are homemade cards with cute messages. I keep them all!

Dad worked in a privatr schjol and got a Harrods hamper and Dior aftershave once!

malificent7 · 11/12/2017 07:51

Typos....agggrrr!

Thehairthebod · 11/12/2017 08:06

Do people honestly think that buying kids teacher a massive Xmas will somehow curry them favour with their kid?

Like most teachers I have my 'preferred' parents. The fact they are on this list has nothing to do with what they bought me for Christmas and everything to do with the fact that they don't email me every fucking day asking me this and that trivial question, don't complain about the smallest things, and generally leave me alone and trust me to get on with my job.

FuckyNellYaBastad · 11/12/2017 08:15

I made my teacher peppermint creams once Xmas Envy

EdithFinch · 11/12/2017 09:58

Do people honestly think that buying kids teacher a massive Xmas will somehow curry them favour with their kid?

It's a bit sad if they can't understand the difference between a bribe and a thank you. No one can expect special treatment for the price of a petty bottle of champagne. If parents start buying the teacher a car, or a gift them a luxury holiday, yes, maybe things are going a bit too far. A £100 is nothing.

blackheartsgirl · 11/12/2017 10:06

£100 is nothing rofl. It’s a lot of money to be giving in our council estate school. I wish I could just afford to give a hundred pound gift to someone and think meh it’s nothing

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 11/12/2017 10:26

@Thehairthebod never a truer word said! I'm a teacher too and those are my favourite parents and kids too. Those who email me every day with trivialities, defend their precious snowflakes to the hilt, constantly moan and complain that my refusing Courtney's request to go to the toilet straight after break or lunch is an infringement of her human rights, would never be anywhere near my favourite list, even if they bought me a diamond studded Maserati, in red and with a Mallorcan villa to park it outside. 😃

MistressDeeCee · 11/12/2017 17:27

Do people honestly think that buying kids teacher a massive Xmas will somehow curry them favour with their kid?

You can't guarantee that it won't, any more than I could guarantee that it will. Its a consideration re human nature and not being saints isn't it. Look at the reasons its being deemed unethical - its not being said for nothing is it. Id feel the same for any other profession - large monetary sums as gift is not appropriate.

MaisyPops · 11/12/2017 17:31

Those who email me every day with trivialities, defend their precious snowflakes to the hilt, constantly moan and complain that my refusing Courtney's request to go to the toilet straight after break or lunch is an infringement of her human rights, would never be anywhere near my favourite list, even if they bought me a diamond studded Maserati, in red and with a Mallorcan villa to park it outside
Yes! No material gifts could make me like someone with a rude, foul and entitled attitude

My top parents are the lovely supportive ones, ones who don't undermine school but who will politely challenge if they have any issues.

Same for students, nice well mannered children who are friendly and try their best are my top students. Children who are entitled, arrogant and have the attitude of 'my mum will complain about you' are my least liked.

EdithFinch · 11/12/2017 17:40

I wish I could just afford to give a hundred pound gift to someone and think meh it’s nothing

get off the floor and understand my point, not £100 per parent, a total of £100 given by 30 parents....

For a teacher having to spend £100 of his own money on supplies, it's too much, but as a thank you gift from 30 people! it's not.

yourekillingmeman · 11/12/2017 17:44

Good. It's a piece of nonsense that gotten out of control in recent years. It's a job like any other ffs

leccybill · 11/12/2017 17:49

I disagree that it's a job like any other.

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