To think my 12.5 year old dsd should be able to think of something herself by now...

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Happy to be told I’m being Aibu as I don’t know any other 12 year old girls!!
I have helped dsd with presents for her dad the last few years. Which is basically meant I’ve chosen something, bought it and wrapped and and she has just handed it over. This has been because she’s never really had an idea of what to buy or only a very vague idea, and I’ve been fine with that as she was younger. However, she’s messaged me again asking what she could get for her dad and still has nothing more than the very vaguest of ideas. I don’t mind buying it and wrapping it or providing the money for her to get it but I really feel at 12.5 she should be coming up with something herself - I know dh would appreciate this a lot more than something that I have blatantly chosen for him!
I just want to check with those who have 12 year old girls if this is right or if you would still be expecting to chose presents on their behalf?

THis is what happens every year auntlydia She always asks for ideas but what she means is please can you choose something and get it for me!

Tbh op she only sees her Dad approx 35 days out of a whole year so I don't really think it's that unreasonable for you to buy the present and maybe ask her to wrap it when she arrives. She's only a 12 year old child.

When choosing for me it's easy for my dds as i have a specific shop i say i like and they just go there and choose something. Used to be yankee, now lush. Can you ask your dh which shop she should choose from or even what he'd like and then ask her to get someone to drop her there/go with a friend/take her shopping.

Anyway, just to be clear I have no problem carrying on doing it, I just wanted to double check if all other 12 year olds were busy buying and wrapping their own presents! But I will leave it for her to wrap this year I think.

Our girls do at 11&13. But it’s pretty recent.

OP, is it a present for your dsd's dad as in your husband?

Yes that’s right blueshoes

How about taking her to one of those caramic painting places? She can paint a photo frame whilst you have a nice time together. Take a photo of the two of you and Ta-daa!

My adult children still ask for me for ideas for their Dad. They obviously go and get something themselves.
At 12 they would have probably come shopping with me.
So yes YABU

Well to be honest, if I asked my mum for ideas for my dad and she went out and bought the present and wrapped it I'd probably go along with that too 😁 tell her her 'vague ideas' sound great, encourage her to go out and buy them and you look forward to seeing her dad open it on Christmas day. See if she acts up to the responsibility you're giving her. That's what I'd do with my 12 year old.

Well, my 12.5 year old girl chooses her own presents, paid for out of pocket money. She even walks down into town by herself (with friends) to go shopping and buy them, wraps them herself and hides them ready for Xmas. She's done this for a few years now. The quality of her presents is questionable, but she puts lots of thought and effort in, and it's really quite sweet that she does .

My 11 year old son definitely needs prompting/taking to the shops, but still would make his own choices. The quality of his presents is also questionable, and he puts much less thought and effort into the buying process, a bit more grabbing the first (cheap) thing that will do.

It really depends on what your DH's expectation is - if he's happy with a men's toiletries set and a bar of chocolate, then let her crack on with it herself. If he wants a meaningful, well thought out gift, you probably still need to direct her and make the choices for her.

Why don't you ask her to find something online and send you the link?

Ahahaha I still text my mum to ask what my dad wants.

I can't even think what to get DH and I'm in my fifties! Hate buying for men.

As it is your dh, I think fair enough for her to ask you for ideas. But she should choose the present at least? I normally ask my ds/dd to find the item or a selection of items on amazon and put it into my basket. Whether you are also prepared to do the wrapping is up to you. It does seem like you are doing the bulk of everything.