Dh had a very different childhood to me growing up. He had no siblings and had a very "poor" upbringing. He didn't have his own bedroom and slept on the sofa in the living room at night. They never went on family holidays or days out, but he did travel sometimes with his mum. He didn't have hobbies or big Christmas/birthdays with lots of presents. The few things he did have a child are still in the flat where he grew up and it is a few games books.
His dad was mentally ill and didn't seek treatment and was abusive. He also had a kind of hoarding problem. The flat has not been decorated or changed since the 70s because he wouldn't allow anything to be changed. His mum left when dh was 12 and moved abroad to be a carer. She offered to take dh with her but he didn't want to leave his school and friends. So he was left to cope with his dad until he was old enough to move out.
I had all the typical family events, siblings, traditions etc. most of us take for granted. I am expecting our first child and would like these traditions to continue in our family. But dh doesn't seem to appreciate or want to enjoy a lot of these things. E.g he doesn't believe in buying gifts for the sake of it so we don't do that for birthdays or Christmas. He also reacts really inappropriately when people give him gifts. We both got advent calendars from my parents this year and he gave his away. I had to nag like mad this year to just get a tree, but once we got it he really enjoyed putting it up and comes in and turns on the lights etc. It's not just Christmas - easter, Halloween, or struggling to join in with my family's traditions.
But it's small steps and I'm worried that our daughter will miss out on some of these small things that give so much joy.
Aibu to focus on this when actually I am expecting him to be excited about things he never had?
Anyone experienced something similar who can give advice?