To have felt like I was on the receiving end of an unkind joke

[greyrainydrizzle]

It was my birthday on Friday. Normally I never celebrate but after a bereavement my friends felt important so I sounded out a few people in September about an afternoon tea on at a local stateley Home. It was £11 per head.

I started checking with people on the weekend before they were still coming and all said yes.

You probably know where this is going. On the 29th the texts and messages started coming in saying that x y and z had come up but have a great day. By Saturday morning I was down to me and two others and the table was booked and paid for twelve.

I’m so upset

Some of these stories are awful. When did we become so selfish?!

Have you asked them for the money? You definitely should - no way you should be out of pocket and £11 is not much for each of them individually but a lot for you combined.

Anyway I'm really sorry - that's so horrible - what did the two friends say that did turn up? Do they know you lost your deposit?

Hope you are ok?

Did they know you were paying?
If so that is even worse

Really shitty behaviour.
My birthday is December and I gave up ages ago trying to organise stuff for it as half the people never turned up and I used to get so upset. I get that it's a busy time of year but it's always been my birthday so not that hard to plan it in for those that are bothered.

Sorry your friends were so piss poor.

This is why I never organise anything for my birthday. You need to message the ones who didn't turn up and tell them that they owe you £11.

and happy belated birthday.

Sadly, I think nowadays when replying 'yes' to an invitation, what people actually mean is 'yes - if I can be bothered on the day/don't have a hangover from the night before/don't get another offer that I like the sound of more.'

It's rude and inconsiderate - furthermore, people who are decent enough to honour their commitments will tie themselves in knots to attend even in case of a genuine emergency, because they know full well others might bail on a whim.

Don't take it personally, OP, but do call them out on the fact you had paid for the event.