child ill, work issues Aibu

[jinglehellz]

Bit of background: I have been working for my current employer for 3 years. I have taken a total of 2 days sick leave in that time. I only had stay once at home with a sick child for 1 day.

I am a lone parent with no family support. DS has autism and severe learning diffs. He has flu (almost 40 fever, really unwell). I had to stay at home with him yesterday and my line manager told me he expects me to sort emergency child care should DS be ill for the rest of the week so I can come in (super busy at the moment due to Xmas). DS is not better. I cannot get emergency childcare. There is no childcare for children with severe learning diffs let alone childcare for a child with complex needs and flu. There is no other option than to stay at home with him for me.

I am really scared of calling work. Can they force me to come in? Or am I within my rights to stay at home until DS is better?

As said above, I am rarely off. I usually go into work when I am unwell but I am really stuck right now

How big is your employer? Do they have a HR dept?

After you have rung in, please consider emailing for clarity as well.

"Also on the unpaid parental leave - totally different thing. Yes parents are allowed to take time off, but it has to be applied for in writing 3 weeks in advance, and taken in blocks of a week."

If the child is disabled it can be taken as individual days ( so it can be used for hospital appointments etc) but it does have to be arranged in advance so no good in the op's situation.

I had this. No sn in the process of seeking diagnosis but lone parent with no support network. Work knew- I was there years before even having dc. Ds was hospitalised and I was told someone else needed to be with him 😡
A) no. Fuck no. My ds is in hospital and I'm needed to be with him far more than your job needs a member of staff who can be covered.
B) hahahhaha are you having a fucking laugh. It's a job. I can get another- if ss decide I'm being neglectful and leaving my kid when I'm needed, I may not have my son any more. Fuck off.

Left after having ds2. People who have massive networks of support haven't got a clue what it's like to be in your position op. You have literally nobody to turn to and ask for support. It's lonely and scary.

Hope he feels better after resting and medicine today and you're able to take it easy

I have a support network (parents, friends, relatives) however none of them would be able to care for my DS if he were ill as they all work full time. If he is ill me and DH have to take it in turns to have time off. If I were a lone parent it would all fall to me.

I can’t see that is that uncommon to not have people who can help- most people work full time these days!

We have no support from relatives but good friends. However it’s not fair to ask them to deal with a sick child. OP I feel for you. You sound like a great mum and a great employee. Let them deal away.

Sorry to hear your manager wasn't more supportive. Not surprised from what you already said.

I actually found acas useless when dealing with similar at my husbands workplace. Very up to speed on standard employment law, much less about parental rights and disabilities etc. Perhaps just the person I got through to but working families were amazing. Give them a try this is their forte. www.workingfamilies.org.uk

I have a son with a complex illness that needs constant management and no family around. If I'm not here to monitor and treat him, he could be seriously ill very quickly. I only have a very flexible job but if I had to find childcare as an emergency i wouldn't be able to. I need an operation and I'm having to delay it as long as possible because DH can't take 8 weeks off and I can't trust temporary childcare to spot his subtle symptoms and deal with them.

Please do call ACAS for advice on your legal position. I believe you may well be covered by the Equality Act here.