Gym bastards

[Nettletheelf]

Am I being unreasonable in being annoyed with tw@ts at the gym? Am I?

1. Bodypump.

Selfish equipment-hogging woman. Class usually full. This woman arrives half an hour early and sets up a bench for herself with two - TWO! - bars, several of every type of weight disc, a pair of every type of dumb bell and TWO mats.

Means that other class members are short of weights, because she has provided herself with every permutation she might possibly need, although she doesn’t use half of them. When they aren’t enough bars to go around, she stays quiet and waits to be asked to relinquish one of hers, at which point she pulls a face and reluctantly yields the minimum amount of equipment.

She seems unembarrassed by this. Apparently she ‘needs’ two bars so that she can swap over during one of the tracks in case she gets a bit tired. So everybody else can feck off.

1. Spinning.

Bike hogging bastards saving bikes for themselves and their friends, even when they aren’t sure that the friends will be turning up.

People arriving just before the start of the class have to run the gauntlet - you sign up for the class in advance, so there are theoretically enough bikes - trying to get on a bike with a jacket draped over it whilst somebody snaps, “my friend is on there!”.

Naturally, the friend never turns up and you end up either missing the start of the class or putting up with being scowled at for taking your booked place.

1. Body attack

Home of the show offs who try to put in extra big jumps and other athletic moves into the routine. No matter how many times the poor instructor says, “don’t put a big jump in here, the routine is designed like this for a reason. No big jumps!”, they still insist on doing them. Just so everybody knows they are really fit and the routine is too easy for them, being virtually professional athletes and all.

Is it just me? Share your stories of gym idiocy. Also your advice on dealing with the equipment hoggers.

I love the Gym but at the one I go to ...

Music in Gym so loud it is blaring /thumping - why ? Just headache inducing.

Aqua fit instructor who brings a boom box and turns it up so loud you can not hear what she is saying ( and doesn't see a problem with that ).

Sometimes the heat being turned up so much it is stifling.

People who dive bomb in the pool .

Men who don't actually use the machines but stand posing in front of them instead until the next one on their "circuit" comes free and they go stand and pose in front of that one instead

I work in a university so there are lots of students in my gym.

My bugbear is they all bring their phones everywhere they go. If they're on the mat, they're also on Instagram, if they're in spin they have the phone propped up on the bike etc etc and read their notifications throughout the class. I don't understand it.

I go to a dance class and find the same thing. A slightest moment to spare and out come all their phones They seem addicted to them .

We have 2 types of bar. I use a thick one when it goes on my back because it spreads the weight better and the thin one digs in and a thin one for when I'm holding it because the thick one is too thick

This is interesting. I’ve done Pump at several gyms and never seen bars of different thicknesses (not doubting you!).

Are they the ‘official’ LM bars?

The young women who attend the gym more made up than I'd ever be on a night out and proceed to sit on the machines, swishing their hair, looking in the mirror and chatting to their friend sat on the neighbouring machine. They make me laugh, although it gets very annoying when you are forced to do your workout in a different order and are left waiting for the machine they are using as a chair to complete your workout.

I also find gym couples amusing, one couple maybe in their late 20s would come in, they'd kiss before going into the separate changing rooms, get changed and then wait for one another to start their workout. They then walked around the gym together holding hands, using each machine side by side and then after each machine would kiss . I used to love watching them and laughing to myself. Nobody is that in love!!!!

Can I add people that stand too close in classes? We all have our own preferred space I get that, but someone has stumbled in to it then standing 2foit away from them When there is ACRES of space is annoying! I’m looking forwards to seeing her later [santa]

That's not love, that as marking your partner so everyone knows that they're out of bounds lol

I see that a lot at work

Not official LM bars. We have different franchise classes aswell like MOSSA

The people that are using the adductor and abductor machines (the machine where you open and close your legs) backwards are doing so to engage their glutes in the workout. Better off doing squats as those machines are borderline useless.

People who sit on their phones on the machine I want also irritate me!

I’m so glad I have found my people!

There is a man in my pump class who clearly think pump is a bit beneath him (WHY COME?) so loads up his bar far too much EVERY SINGLE TRACK can’t keep up at all and so is off putting to everyone else. Then because he has so much in he fafs around changing it and misses the start of EVERY track. He also has a permanent cough and puts his bench too close to me. I hate him.

As soon as class is over I’m sure he’s lovely! :)

Yes to the inconsiderate chumps who don’t wipe their own sweat. In circuit classes particularly. How do they not look around and see everyone else with their towel?! There is nothing worse than following a towelless sweater (and I’m a right sweaty Betty!) and having to do a push up over their pool of sweat. It disgusts me. In my opinion you shouldn’t be allowed in the class with no towel. In one class I now take a spare towel to wipe others sweat, one man came and apologised to me and his since bought his towel.

In my opinion you shouldn’t be allowed in the class with no towel

My gym has signs saying ‘No towel, no workout’. Quite right, too!

Mine does too, but no one appears to enforce it! We used to have anonymous suggestion boxes but is seems to have moved!

Generally I try not to take notice of what other people are doing, and wouldn’t like it if someone was taking the mick out of me, BUT… There’s one woman who comes to my body combat class who irritates me so much. Her and friend always arrive 10 minutes late; she pushes her way to a spot near the front regardless of how busy it is; she then tries to make a space for her mate (who seems nice and ignores her) and beckons to her to join her every few minutes; she has very long hair which she doesn’t tie up and swishes it around, then puts it in a bobble, takes it out of bobble, swishes it some more; she does a little dance between each track (think Tales of the Unexpected for anyone who can remember that far back); she doesn’t wear knickers – I hate seeing her full moon bottom when she bends over in front of me in her transparent leggings; doesn’t wear a bra despite very ample chest – her choice and her ligaments of course. The list goes on and on. I end up feeling bad as she brings out the rage in me and I won’t budge one cm for her when she does this. If she wasn’t such a pain I would be more than happy move if possible and make space for her and her mate.

She caused a minor outrage the other week too, when she asked a member who was in front of her if they could move to one side so she would have a better view of the instructor. It’s body combat, not the theatre. The other member completely blanked her and carried on.

there is someone in body combat who winds me up too. I think they do proper boxing or something as they have really good form, but they are never in time so are just really distracting with their proper punches.

I have some sympathy, but only a tiny amount, with asking the person at the front to move aside slightly.

In my Zumba class, one woman stands directly in front of the instructor. Absolutely smack in front of her. She doesn’t seem to get that by doing so she is blocking the view of the maximum number of people. Even the instructor sometimes asks her to move, but does she learn? No. Next class, there she is, back in prime blocking position.

70% of the class have to watch the back of the instructor in the mirror!

People who take body combat too seriously wind me up too. It's an aerobic exercise class which is a bit of fun, not proper full on martial arts. There's a couple that come to mine who think they are Bruce Lee, but they are not as bad as the annoying woman.

I love the people who arrive 15 minutes early and go through a very serious and complicated set of warm-up exercises. Before doing the whole of Body Pump with 2.5 kg on each end of the bar.

(*not saying it pisses me off, just find it highly amusing: it’s a BP class, not a marathon)

@BitOutOfPractice if the machine you refer to is the one that forces you to sit legs akimbo facing the room while you excercise, apparently some women feel quite vulnerable in this position (according to gymmanager I knew) so they used to turn the machine round the other way. Might it be something like this?

And it’s not like les mills instructors are fully qualified physios are they, half the ones I know are just teachers in their spare time

I'm an LM instructor. Yes, in my spare time. No, I'm not a physio. But I also don't make the programs up as I go along, they are put together by appropriately qualified specialists, with options where appropriate.
So yes, it does irritate me when people come to the class, blatantly ignore me and do whatever they want there. It's also very distracting to others - if you don't like a pre-coreographed group fitness class, maybe try free weights or personal training instead?

Also my favorite body pump instructor has been replaced with the most irritating instructor who literally berates you for not adding more weight to push yourself. I have an old back injury I know my own bodies limits

Reading this I am very grateful that our spin classes are just cycling and no nonsense!

50ShadesOfEarlGrey
Don’t let that stop you! We all start somewhere. Get yourself a good program and you’ll amaze yourself.

I would complain about that Body Pump woman - how selfish!

We have a lot of bike bagging at spin, it the people do turn up so it doesn't bother me. What does bother me though, is the people that book the class and then don't turn up.

I am irrationally irritated by anyone that works out wearing their locker key. I feel utterly murderous if I'm on the treadmill running next to some jingling twat. Take it off!!

I've just remembered that YOGA has the most annoying people in the gym.

Really ridiculously territorial, terribly serious and competitive.