Gym bastards

[Nettletheelf]

Am I being unreasonable in being annoyed with tw@ts at the gym? Am I?

1. Bodypump.

Selfish equipment-hogging woman. Class usually full. This woman arrives half an hour early and sets up a bench for herself with two - TWO! - bars, several of every type of weight disc, a pair of every type of dumb bell and TWO mats.

Means that other class members are short of weights, because she has provided herself with every permutation she might possibly need, although she doesn’t use half of them. When they aren’t enough bars to go around, she stays quiet and waits to be asked to relinquish one of hers, at which point she pulls a face and reluctantly yields the minimum amount of equipment.

She seems unembarrassed by this. Apparently she ‘needs’ two bars so that she can swap over during one of the tracks in case she gets a bit tired. So everybody else can feck off.

1. Spinning.

Bike hogging bastards saving bikes for themselves and their friends, even when they aren’t sure that the friends will be turning up.

People arriving just before the start of the class have to run the gauntlet - you sign up for the class in advance, so there are theoretically enough bikes - trying to get on a bike with a jacket draped over it whilst somebody snaps, “my friend is on there!”.

Naturally, the friend never turns up and you end up either missing the start of the class or putting up with being scowled at for taking your booked place.

1. Body attack

Home of the show offs who try to put in extra big jumps and other athletic moves into the routine. No matter how many times the poor instructor says, “don’t put a big jump in here, the routine is designed like this for a reason. No big jumps!”, they still insist on doing them. Just so everybody knows they are really fit and the routine is too easy for them, being virtually professional athletes and all.

Is it just me? Share your stories of gym idiocy. Also your advice on dealing with the equipment hoggers.

Oh yes yes YES re Body Attack! There's one guy who does his three-step-runs at 1.5 the pace you're meant to, so it fits the track. It puts everyone out of sync and he gets in the way, and it's all just to demonstrate how fit he is.

Mate, I could do it like that if I was an inconsiderate show-off: you're just being a KNOB!

I do free weights as well as the body pump class. I do the class because that's how I started weight lifting and I enjoy it

When the class is already obviously full and more sneaky twats try to come in. Where? Are? You? Going? To? Squeeze? Yourself? To? You late twat...

Short, stocky muscly women in body combat. They just annoy me. They bounce around with such arrogance with their teeny weeny bodies.

People who come to the gym to show off their bodies. Men are the most guilty of it. Vain peacocks. Would it hurt you to put a t-shirt on your naked, artificially puffed-out chest?

Oh yeah and in track 6 of Attack, where you run around the room? Don't fucking weave around in and out and get in my way without warning: if you want to do loads of running cos you're such a RUNNING man, run right at the outside of the room, rather than cutting people up to show off.

Same bloke as in post above, obviously.

People who chat throughout Pump and Bodybalance. People who try and put away all their weights and bars before abdominals so they can be first away, and don’t see that’s it is rude that the poor instructor is carrying on with about four of us on the mats paying attention to her.

Don’t whatever you do go to aLes Mills Live convention- the whole class is like that guy!!!

The one woman who always turns up 15 minutes late to a studio class and drops her multiple bags down on the floor instead of putting them on the side out of everyone’s way.

The entitled people who leave their wet towels all over the changing rooms, how much effort is it to drop the towel in the basket?

Oh! And spin classes. Why is it so hard to find one that just sticks to cycling?! I don’t want to do stupid “push ups on the bike” or ponce around with 1kg hand weights while cycling really slowly! I’d rather do 30 mins of spin than an hour of supposedly “total body” conditioning.

I used to work at a naice gym when I was at uni & have some horror stories. Worst was the woman who would shit in the shower then scrape it up and put it in the bin, no one ever caught her in the act but the poor cleaners would discover the smeared tiles and drain soon afterwards. Grim.

Mine as a customer and instructor are..

People that try to sneak in after the warm up or leave before the cool down.
Men who think I can't lift because I'm a girl
Men who join the class and see what I'm lifting and think they can do more because I'm a girl (although its funny watching them try and keep up)
Women who do cardio only because they don't want to get bulky
People who don't try, you've been coming for a year, you shouldn't still be doing a box press up.
Machine hogs
Not putting the weights back- gives me a workout while in working tho

People who come to the gym to show off their bodies. Men are the most guilty of it. Vain peacocks. Would it hurt you to put a t-shirt on your naked, artificially puffed-out chest?

I'm surprised they're allowed; men aren't allowed to go topless in my gym. The management even get a bit sniffy at stringer vests.

My husband had Mr Ranty Shouty man on the elliptical yesterday, talking very loudly to some poor person on his mobile. Why would you think the gym is your private space like that?

Ooohhh and mansplaining!

I had a guy that mansplained my training!
THATS MY JOB,THATS WHAT IM QUALIFIED IN

Unlike him, who I was giving an induction to

People in my old Pump class used to put weights away throughout the class. On one occasion, the class was mega full so I had to set up in front of the weight racks. People were leaning OVER MY HEAD when I was trying to do the abs section, putting 5 kilo weights away.

frieda909 I thought they'd banned dips! I have shoulder issues so I always ignored them anyway

Men are not allowed to go topless in the gym I go too. Of course people are going to look in the mirrors, show of there muscles and take selfies, most of these people have worked bloody hard to get the body they want so why shouldn’t they show off a little. I have been going for 2+ years and I can finally look in the mirror and like what I see, seeing fit people in the gym has inspired me, given me something to work towards. Everyone in the gym are at different points of their journey, some just starting out, we all start somewhere and if we stick too it we get the resaults we want.

I used to use a gym where no mobiles where allowed and they had a strict dress code. Never been to a gym where food is allowed in.

If there’s a natural break to adjust music volume or find the next track or explain something to a newbie, or something I will quickly put some weights away in the back room, but I never do this if there’s a chance I will still be in the back room when the next track starts and the instructor is back in front of the class. Some people are shuffling around in there putting things away for ages to save themselves two minutes at the end. The instructor comments gently but they are too obtuse to notice it is them she means and they are being rude.

Thanks mum11970, I forgot about the people standing right in front of the rack, blocking it, slowly dismantling their Bodypump weight bars. Whilst a semicircle of people who did that at their benches, as anybody sensible would, patiently wait to put their stuff away.

I don’t know why the people who do ‘extra bits’ irritate me so much. I think it’s a combination of “I’m special and I need everybody to realise” and “I know better than the person in charge”.

Also omitted: the people who can’t bloody return to the same spot after a ‘moving’ class (eg Zumba or body attack). You do a move that takes you in a square, you return to the starting point and find somebody who was previously 4 metres behind you doing energetic high kicks 50 centimetres behind you.

Ugh, Overly Keen Cyclist Guy who turns up to spinning wearing a full on unitard (with sponsors!), gloves and those shoes that clip on the pedals.

It's not the fucking Tour de France, mate. Calm down.

For the most part I'd say my gym's not that bad - But then I train at 5am to avoid the bulk of the assholes. Of course there'll always be some special kind of idiot now and again though!

But the main everyday ones are:

• People who load tons of weight onto plate loaded machines/Olympic bars (leg press is usually the worst), and don't remove any when they're done. Having to clear several plates off a machine before I can use it is so annoying!

• The people who stand immediately in front of the dumbbell racks to exercise. Why can't they see how much they're in the way of everyone trying to get to the rack to pick up/put weights away!?

Many of these people are why I go to my gym at 5am along with the other nutters!! There are about a dozen of us - 10 men, 2 women - and we have a laugh and dont have any of the previously mentioned problems

I too have an irritating woman in my Body Pump class, she arrives 30 minutes early to get her spot and if she's late and her spot is gone she moans. She also takes equipment away early to leave 30 seconds earlier and has hit me with a bar carry it away.

There were two guys at my gym who my PT said have been kicked out for literally screaming when lifting. I could still hear them upstairs it was pathetic! And if they were in the gym alone they would be silent...

Some bloke came to Pump yesterday, first time he’d ever done it. He had 20kg of weights on for the warm up and was warned he’d be needing to at least double it as the class went on. He said it was fine. Next track is squat track, he had 60kg of weights on and the male (very fit) instructor I think only has about 30kg. He did two squats and decided to go down to 40kg.....he was dying through the track. I reckon he only did half the reps. There’s pushing yourself and pushing yourself.

Men who wait for me to finish on weight machines (fine, we all need to use the machines) and then tell me I don’t need to bother wiping down when I’ve finished (not fine, ew ew ew).

Also people who are on my specific favourite machine when the rest of that type are free (lighthearted)

The woman who uses the squeeze in and our keg machine backwards. Ie she doesn't sit on the seat that's helpfully been provided to, you know, sit on. She sort of squats, facing the seat. WTAF is that about?
Yes I've seen someone who does that, she was in shape though so it must work 🤔
Id be too embarrassed to try it, I'm sure there's a YouTube video explaining it properly 😉

Those people who say phone if only two machines of a certain type for a whole hour.

The ladies who come to pilates and yoga without underwear on, and with translucent yoga pants, so you can see their saggy butt cracks when they start sweating.