Gym bastards

[Nettletheelf]

Am I being unreasonable in being annoyed with tw@ts at the gym? Am I?

1. Bodypump.

Selfish equipment-hogging woman. Class usually full. This woman arrives half an hour early and sets up a bench for herself with two - TWO! - bars, several of every type of weight disc, a pair of every type of dumb bell and TWO mats.

Means that other class members are short of weights, because she has provided herself with every permutation she might possibly need, although she doesn’t use half of them. When they aren’t enough bars to go around, she stays quiet and waits to be asked to relinquish one of hers, at which point she pulls a face and reluctantly yields the minimum amount of equipment.

She seems unembarrassed by this. Apparently she ‘needs’ two bars so that she can swap over during one of the tracks in case she gets a bit tired. So everybody else can feck off.

1. Spinning.

Bike hogging bastards saving bikes for themselves and their friends, even when they aren’t sure that the friends will be turning up.

People arriving just before the start of the class have to run the gauntlet - you sign up for the class in advance, so there are theoretically enough bikes - trying to get on a bike with a jacket draped over it whilst somebody snaps, “my friend is on there!”.

Naturally, the friend never turns up and you end up either missing the start of the class or putting up with being scowled at for taking your booked place.

1. Body attack

Home of the show offs who try to put in extra big jumps and other athletic moves into the routine. No matter how many times the poor instructor says, “don’t put a big jump in here, the routine is designed like this for a reason. No big jumps!”, they still insist on doing them. Just so everybody knows they are really fit and the routine is too easy for them, being virtually professional athletes and all.

Is it just me? Share your stories of gym idiocy. Also your advice on dealing with the equipment hoggers.

In my old gym there was a wannabe PT who had her 'gals' take 'classes' with her blasting music and taking over half the gym. I was in the corner with my PT and used to ask them to turn the music down so we didn't have to shout at each other! Awful.

Middle aged guys in current gym who dont wipe down equipment after sweaty usage. Gross.

I once nearly ran into a guy who was dripping with sweat as I entered the gym, only to find the treadmill he had clearly been using had not been wiped down and there was sweat on the 2 machines either side of him. It beggared belief. To be so inconsiderate.

Rant over

Must be my gym then because everyone has a mat on the step.

Fair enough! We wouldn’t have enough mats.

Why not talk to the gym about putting up signs saying people aren't allowed to reserve places and equipment for their friends? And ensuring that the rule is enforced?

Pretty sure the objects I lift are real yoda. They sure feel heavy enough anyway!

People who don't put equipment back, leaving you running around the floor looking for random bits lying around.

OP, I laughed at your post. I was just having this conversation with my dh yesterday evening.
I went to a spin class and practically every bike had a bag or towel draped over it .
I am usually quite easy going, but yesterday I wasn’t in the mood. I sat on a bike that was being ‘saved’. The saver was not happy but I didn’t give a hoot.
I think that it is ridiculous that people get territorial about bikes ,particularly since there are always enough bikes for everyone.

People who smell of BO. I don’t mean fresh sweat. I mean fog of toxicity. Just shower.
The blokes who lift reeeeeeeeally heavy weights then drop them, making everything shake. If you’re strong ebough to lift it bloody put it diwn properly

This thread is why I’m terrified to go into into any gym near me.

• I won’t know the local ways doing stuff
• I’ll break some weird unknown rule just by breathing at the wrong time
• I don’t know how to use the equipment/the equipment names
• My fitness level or lack thereof will also be up for judgement
• I’ll use something for one second too long or at the wrong time.

Yup. Never going there!

‘Saving’ stuff is shit. Benches, positions, spin bikes. Everyone pays the same, it’s first-come, first-served, in my world.

• People who superset at busy times and refuse to work in with other people.

• People who drop the bar totally uneccesarily.

Men people who think they know better than you if you need a spot.

Yes, yes, yes to the men who sweat all over the mats and put them away without wiping them down It is just gross.

People who walk over my yoga mat in their outdoors shoes!!! I now pull them up on this one and explain how they have walked outside and in the toilets in their shoes and I will be placing my body on my mat!!!

"Bicep curls in the squat rack.

Or any exercise really THAT ISN'T A FUCKING SQUAT!!!!"

There's plenty of lifts that - in my gym - are perfectly socially acceptable to do in a squat rack that aren't squats. Rack pulls, overhead presses (standing or seated), bench press, incline bench press, barbell rows. In a busy commercial gym with limited lifting equipment, you have to be creative with the space. Sure, it's a bit annoying if you actually want to do squats, but I just change around what I'm doing until one becomes free.

"I don't understand gyms. Running like mice on a mouse wheel. Get some fresh air, walk, dance. Why pay for this shit?"

Fresh air, walking and dancing aren't going to give me a wingspan to rival a wandering albatross. People like different things. Deal with it.

"Wingspan to rival a wandering albatross"

Blimey. Is that a metaphor?

... very poetic, if so

It's an entirely literal life goal. (not really, it just means I want a big strong back).

This thread is why I’m terrified to go into into any gym near me.

Honestly, don’t be. Everyone is super-nice and welcoming to newbies.

It’s the entitled arses who’ve being coming forever and choose to ignore basic etiquette & norms who get people’s backs up.

Good for you. Watch the landing though. Albatrosses are notoriously bad at it.

People who come with a friend so they can go very slowly on the cross trainers and chat. Mostly same age as me - 60s. Ditto on the bikes. Well I suppose it's doing them some good but hurry up and get off so I can use the damn thing!
Younger people (generally) who sit on equipment for ages texting or choosing music rather than exercising. Again - do your exercise and push off!
People who use the rowing machine in a way that will at some point result in injury - either they haven't been shown how to use it properly or they have and think they know better.
People who hog the spa for most of the morning because they consider it their own social club. Mostly my age as well.
For those who don't "get" going to the gym, it's the best way to deal with specific problems. I have mild heart failure, arthritic knees and an unstable sacroiliac joint. My routine is designed specifically to safely improve my cardiovascular fitness and strengthen my knees and back.

... that was meant to a joke. My tone is off this morning. Sorry

Born

I understand

"People who use the rowing machine in a way that will at some point result in injury "

Argh! this bugs me inordinately, to the extent that I can't row near someone who is thrashing about on the erg because it annoys me too much. And no matter how I play it out in my head, I can't work out a non-twatty way to tell someone they're doing it wrong. So I silently seethe instead.

Yoda - no worries, I got you! I was feeling slightly embarrassed about my own bossy "Deal with it" so we're even.

The problem is that erg's are very unintuitive and therefore the only people that use them properly tend to be people who have rowed. Most other people bring their knees up too soon and stay too upright, but you can understand why

I like watching the bloke in ours who doesn't know how to use the rowers. He doesn't put his feet in the straps and just pulls the bar towards himself very quickly for 2 minutes, then gets up and stretches.

Yoda, I love the bikes that go nowhere. There's no way I'm getting on a real bike and risking the actual traffic.