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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be still grinning at such silliness?

392 replies

BoobleMcB · 05/12/2017 16:56

So I was casually minding my own business, plodding along when I heard a fella on the phone state that:

Well it was clearly Thursday that broke the camel's straw...

I just about rounded the corner chuckling to myself hoping he didn't notice 😂

What other common sayings have heard people say wrong?

OP posts:
FairyHedgehogg · 05/12/2017 22:10

Also, I do sometimes say 'keep your knickers on' when I mean 'keep your wool on'/'don't get your knickers in a twist'

Unicorn81 · 05/12/2017 22:11

You can split peas through that instead of spit peas

CoodleMoodle · 05/12/2017 22:13

"What does it mean when people say they're going to 'draw a lion in the sand'?"

HumpHumpWhale · 05/12/2017 22:14

My sister's ex was great for these. He once, after they broke up, asked her if she'd reconsider, or was he "flogging a dead fish". Amazing.

NooNooHead · 05/12/2017 22:15

My FIL calls a Peroni beer a Pepperoni... 😂

KikisReindeerDeliveries · 05/12/2017 22:15

There's a family tradition amongst my in laws to ask for either a 'shiver' or a 'slither' of cake. Never a 'sliver'. I'm not sure if they know they're doing it or not but I like it.

Mojamma12 · 05/12/2017 22:20

I remember once an older lady getting off a bus and she shouted at the driver that he "should be more careful, all that erotic driving's making me feel sick!"".

LOL... Obviously, she meant eratic!!...

WatchTheFoxes · 05/12/2017 22:21

CoodleMoodle it should be "draw a line in the sand".

My friend asked me if I thought wearing "Dean Martin's" shoes would suit her. She meant Doc Martins.

naughtymutha · 05/12/2017 22:22

Best thing since life's spread BlushHmm

Olivecoloureddonkey · 05/12/2017 22:25

My dh calls bullets bollocks! English is not his first language! His other one is when talking to friends... he has mixed what the fuck and shut up so he says shut the fucker!

fromtheshires · 05/12/2017 22:27

My biggest one that loads of people say is 'That will learn you'. It doesn't even make grammatical sense to say it over that will teach you. It just angers me more than amuses me

LoafEater · 05/12/2017 22:27

My work pal, telling another member of staff about a sick colleague "the hospital have put him in a seduced coma". I never let her forget that one!

StarWarsFanatic · 05/12/2017 22:28

--InMySpareTime
My DM said "when one door closes, another one rears its ugly head and slaps you in the face". I have no idea what she was trying to say with that mangled set of idioms!-- I laughed so hard at this my cat jumped off me and ran to DH who had to calm her down & I could only get one word out at a time between laughing fits when I tried to explain.

Some I have heard in the last couple of moths are: Bowl in a china shop. Shit steering (stirring). She could sell souls to Arabs.

My adult sister once said Barcelona was the capital of Rome, she will never live it down.

Charolais · 05/12/2017 22:31

Not quiet the same but, last week I called my husband while he was at the hardware store to remind him to get the clamps we needed for a project and he kept repeating, “Clumps”? I kept repeating “CLAMPS”! Finally I said, “I’m going to spell it for you, you dip-shit. C L U M P S”. To which he replied, “Yeah, that’s what I thought, clumps”.

lol, I spelled ‘clumps’.

iklboo · 05/12/2017 22:31

A girl I went to school with wrote that a relative had been in an accident and was comma toast (comatose).

Weedsnseeds1 · 05/12/2017 22:32

These are squibs, not to be confused with squid!
www.bridgwatercarnival.org.uk/useful-info/squibbing/

Ropsleybunny · 05/12/2017 22:37

I once told a colleague at work that I was sick of being so spreadly thin. We were nearly sick we laughed so much.

Areyoufree · 05/12/2017 22:38

I really like "another day, another duck". I think I may keep it.

cantfindname · 05/12/2017 22:41

Did none of you see the Zoe Ball Strictly spin off programme last week? We were looking for something and paused just long enough for some Spanish (or possibly Italian) to stand up and declare he 'Had a standing ovulation'

It's fast becoming a family saying here.

leftwiththedognow · 05/12/2017 22:43

Italian friend (her excuse and been here since she was 3) after the brexit vote.
Me: What do you think about brexit, then?
Her: Whats brexit?
Me: Love, are you taking the piss?
Her: I don't follow the football.

DownInFraggleRock · 05/12/2017 22:45

My brother when he was about 12, and asked if was missing his gf while on holiday “well, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder!”

Twiceover · 05/12/2017 22:46

I also thought for an embarrassingly long time that the expression 'it's a no brainer' meant it was a really stupid idea - as in it took no brain to think it up. Awkward.

Butteredparsn1ps · 05/12/2017 22:46

I love Ann Summers Wallpaper! Grin

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 05/12/2017 22:48

Friend of mine happily announcing to me in the co-op that she was “going to be a virgin when she grew up”. She meant vegetarian! We were about 14.

mamaduckbone · 05/12/2017 22:50

A girl in my class once told me very sincerely that she was going to end her story on a coathanger (she meant cliffhanger!)
She must be 20 odd by now but it still makes me smile.

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