Do we live in the friendliest place ever or is this what village life is like?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

We’ve lived here about five years so this isn’t something I’ve just noticed, but I was musing about it on the school run.

As we walk or cycle to school we see many of the same faces, people on their way to work, dog walkers, other cyclists etc. Without exception, they all say hello and good morning. If we’ve got our dog with us the dog people will stop and chat. Even people I’ve never seen before say good morning.

But the people coming into the village to work, off the bus, rarely say anything, even if I do. Which makes me feel like a bit of a nob.

I’ve always lived in the town before (small market town but still a town) and people didn’t greet me, even the same people I saw every day (with a few exceptions). But here it’s the norm. I often get the bus into the village centre and it’s rare that someone doesn’t strike up a conversation with me. Also, the people in the Co-op always chat, which blindsided me a bit the first few items I went in ther.

Is this just village life or do I actually live in Chatty McChatsville?

Ok, so I’m on the extreme other side of the planet to your village but I think it’s a city/country divide, at least here. I live in the second largest city on my continent. Then for 3-4 months a year I live in the countryside, in a farming community, as a farmer.

Done this for 11 years, and it still catches me out every time. When we first arrive in the rural hamlet, I’m always a bit at how friendly everyone is. Kids, oldies, strangers, friends, neighbours. Sitting in my kitchen, leaning on a fence post, at the local shop. Chatting and nodding and smiling and exchanging cliched plesantries (but with genuine goodwill). I take time to adjust to it, cos it feels a bit intrusive and I never seem to get my list of things done with all this sociability.

By the time I head back to the ‘big smoke’, where people mind their own business and get lots done at speed, I feel like a real idiot. Smiling my way inanely down the high street, striking up unreciprocated small talk on the school run, asking the checkout lass about her day while she stamps on a ‘customer service’ grimace.

My DD has christened many city folk ‘pickle people’ because she says their faces look like they just ate something really sour. She sometimes tells me her tally of how many pickles she’s met that day, and how many ‘nice people’ too.

Maybe in the village life you just can’t survive without help, so you adapt a style that keeps everyone connected and ‘in the know’ about each other. In city life, it’s perhaps kinder to not strike up a chat with someone who’s likely to have had 10,000 interactions by necessity that day, just leave them some space, privacy and a rare moment of silence.

I always thought I’d be a city kinda person but since having DC we moved to a large village and everyone is lovely. On the school run the other day I suddenly felt so happy that the kids would be growing up in such a nice place, including direct trains to London, close to the coast & a national park (and the local secondary is outstanding so no need to pay for private or ge funny about catchment areas). Yes, I’m bloody smug about it.

It's lovely here too. Local landlord got my Christmas party dress dry cleaned for me as I didn't have time and someone else has offered to lend me their car!

I live in a friendly village like that too. I lived all my life in London and the SE of England until 3 years ago when I moved to the NW. I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I find it far far friendlier here.

I live in a village and it’s very friendly too. Everyone says good morning or hello and I often stop to make small talk with familiar faces. I’ve lives here 19 years now and came from a large town and at first was quite nervous to how we would be received as a comer inner but shouldn’t have worried as everyone was/is lovely!

AnachronisticCorpse - sorry, I haven't read every single reply to your post but I understand you live in a village rather than a small town? DH and I moved from London to a small, rural market town and we also noticed how very friendly people here are. Complete strangers say hello to us and we say hello back and I sometimes have a chat with dog walkers in the park (don't have a dog myself but I love animals) . BUT, we find that forming firm friendships is a bit more difficult. We have loads of 'casual acquaintances' here but few 'friends'. Finding the equivalent of a female 'best friend' is not easy.

I must admit we're both focusing on demanding jobs and we work away frequently, so we really should make more of an effort to meet people.

I have found 2 social groups I'd like to join here but I still have a feeling that - in general - a lot of locals already have their own established social circle, or extended family who live nearby.

Maybe our age plays a role too - I'm 49, DH 58. No kids.

Is it easy to form close friendships where you are?

I’ve got a few friendships that have been cultivated since we moved here, but tbh they’re mostly superficial or circumstantial (school mums etc). I think it’s hard at any age.

Most of my best friends except one live in my phone though so I know nothing

I've moved to a very small town (around 12000 residents) from a big city and people don't give you the time of day. I spoke to my childminder about it. She's an incomer too, but has lived here for decades and says to not expect it to change. I'm an incomer and that is that. Makes me sad.

AnachronisticCorpse - I find that the people we know around here and we consider to be our friends mainly like doing things in group (men + women/couples/singles) but nothing that is too much out of their of comfort zone, e.g. going to a larger, nearby town to see a dance performance/a gig/a play/opera/ballet or an event. Some do, once in a while, but most are not too enthusiastic. They prefer to do things here. Unfortunately there isn't that much to do around here for entertainment.

Also I found out the women don't ever meet up for coffee, for a girls night out or to go on a shopping trip. I find that a bit strange in a small community. I had always assumed that people in a small place would be closer. But we still like living here!

ConciseandNice - our town has about the same number of residents as your town.
I have to say no one has ever made us feel unwelcome here. Everyone is really friendly and courteous. It's just that we find it hard to expand our social circle here. The people we do know around here and who are our friends are people we've known for years now, and that's great, but their social circle is not expanding and neither is ours. I don't have any friends my own age (49). The people we know are all much older. Some of them are grandparents.
The social group I'm joining is meeting again in January so fingers crossed.

I go for lots of walks - I live in a village with a population of 200, and the other walkers are very chatty and friendly. 2 out of 3 of them are dog walkers, and are always chatty, and often have adorable dogs; either curious and a bit shy, or mad excitable dogs (like red setters) bouncing all over you.

Never really liked the city much, although it was a good place to live when I was young and couldn't drive. And I hated living in the suburbs. Village life is my favourite. Lots of stuff going on, clubs and societies, and a very strong and friendly community. Never found this in the city or the suburbs personally.

I live in a city which is like this. People randomly chat to others in shops, on buses, in the street, I love it.

gingerjenny - oh I love the dogs in our local park! Especially the mad excitable ones. Their owners then tell them off for bouncing all over me but I don't mind. It makes my day!

Perhaps we should have moved to a village rather than a small market town? Whenever we talk to people from a village it sounds like there is a stronger community than here. Our town has a population of around 12,000 and it is steadily expanding (they keep building/planning new housing estates). Still, it's a pretty town and a nice, safe place to live.

I live in a city and my neighbourhood is like that

Recently visited to Northern Ireland and the WHOLE country was like that... seriously friendly chatty people.

I moved to a small market town earlier this year. I now control my resting bitch expression and look pleasant as people smile and say hello to me. Had a lovely chat about cheesey biscuits in Poundland last week with an old man who couldn’t decide whether he should buy them or not.

The down side to places like this is that everyone knows your business.

If you haven't heard a rumour by midday, you start one.

The down side to places like this is that everyone knows your business.

If you haven't heard a rumour by midday, you start one.

Not like this where I live at all.