Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really quite miffed off with DFriend and to invite someone else instead?

79 replies

K1092902 · 02/12/2017 16:12

So its been a rollercoaster of a year and me and 2 friends decided last month to book a Christmas weekend away- just us 3, no kids or partners.

Anyway we knew were we wanted to stay (been there a few times with the kids and DPs) and i paid in full last month after both friends confirming they were happy with the arrangements and there would be no conflicts with Christmas parties, childcare cover etc I booked and paid in full and both friends paid me their share.

Anyway get a text off one of them last night- apparently her and her DP have decided to buy their daughter a puppy for Christmas and could she possibly have her money back and pay for her share in January?

Im quite gobsmacked to be honest. Its not that i dont trust her to pay her share (ive lent her money before and its always come back) its just I feel its a bit cheeky.

I feel like texting her back and telling her I can give her her money back but will be finding someone else to come on the trip if thats the case.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Theresnonamesleft · 02/12/2017 16:44

Erm no. The money has gone on the trip already.

1frenchfoodie · 02/12/2017 16:44

Tell her it is an astonishingly stupid idea to buy a puppy as a christmas present so she should save the money she clearly doesnt have and research reputable breeders to do it for a birthday instead if she is really set on it. Ask her to google puppy farms while you are at it.

PuppyMonkey · 02/12/2017 16:45

Text back: "Lol."

Killerfiller · 02/12/2017 16:47

Today 16:41 Shakirasma

Reply "I don't have the money anymore as it has already been used to repay the dent in my bank balance as the holiday was paid in full, in advance. I can't afford to give you a loan just before Christmas either."

Exactly this

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 02/12/2017 16:48

"I don't have the money any more, I used it to pay for the trip."

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 02/12/2017 16:49

So she expects you to be out however much her share of the trip cost because she bought a fucking puppy?

No need for a row, just explain that you can't afford to before Christmas.

StarWarsFanatic · 02/12/2017 16:51

She isn't asking to pay you back after the event she is asking to borrow money and she should phrase it as such. If you are in a position to lend and want to then fair enough but she should phrase it properly. It is rather cheeky either way though.

I would see if anyone else wants to buy her out of the trip as long as other friend is comfortable with it.

As an aside, I would tell her it is irresponsible to get a child a puppy as a gift, especially at this time of year. Has she never seen the Dogs Trust adverts.

Glumglowworm · 02/12/2017 16:52

“No.”

Or “no I’ve used the money you gave to pay for the trip as agreed. I can’t afford to give you the money for your share. Plus you’re a complete dick for getting a puppy for Christmas, no reputable breeder would touch you with a barge pole but idiots like you don’t care about reputable breaders or puppy mills as long as you get a cute puppy”

MsJolly · 02/12/2017 16:52

As above really. Have paid for the trip with it already so don't have it sorry-do you want me to see if someone else wants to come and buy it off you? Though that may be unlikely, especially this time of year.

IdaDown · 02/12/2017 16:54

Deflect by giving her the booking details and tell her to try and arrange with hotel for a refund.

Not your problem.

No guarantee she’ll go / be able to pay in January.

DarlesChickens61 · 02/12/2017 16:56

"No" is a complete sentence. Anybody who buys a puppy for Christmas doesn't deserve an explanation.

BewareOfDragons · 02/12/2017 16:56

"Sorry, no. I have extra expenses this time of year, too. Looking forward to seeing you this weekend."

FizzyGreenWater · 02/12/2017 16:57

'Sorry no, I can't afford to cover the cost of your puppy just before Christmas!'

because that's what she's asking you to do.

Also Angry at puppy buying for Christmas. Disinvite her for that!

Allthewaves · 02/12/2017 16:57

You say 'I'm sorry, I don't have the money to give you as used it to pay for the trip'

Hissy · 02/12/2017 17:02

Very simple No.

“I’ve booked and paid for the trip, there is no “your money” to give back.

She has a dp, I’m sure they also have extended family, someone will be able to sub her, or... if she can’t afford to get a puppy without begging for money she’s already paid out to be returned... perhaps she can’t afford to get her dd the puppy...

CorbynsBumFlannel · 02/12/2017 17:06

I don't think she is bu to ask tbh. And if she's reliable I'd loan her the money. If you're not in a situation to then surely you just tell her that you don't have the money so close to xmas? She's not u to ask and you're not u to say no. No need for any silly games which may well leave you out of pocket permanently if you can't find anyone to fill the space.

crazycatgal · 02/12/2017 17:07

She's being unreasonable. Her money has paid for her portion of the trip, it's not as if you still have hold of her money. Just explain this and say that you don't have any money to lend to her because you need to pay for gifts yourself.

TiklyBooYack · 02/12/2017 17:18

Is she joking? CF.

ommmward · 02/12/2017 17:29

Slight derail here: I know there must be lots of horrible puppy farm type set ups who are breeding for Christmas yuck yuck yuck.

But I know at least one person whose dog got pregnant (which was what the person was hoping for) and the timing of it is that the resulting puppies will be ready to go to their new (very carefully vetted) homes this month. That's not a puppy farm, and it's not puppies for Christmas either - the puppies are going to people who have been on this lady's waiting list for this particular breed and blood line and blah blah for a couple of years!

(I have no axe to grind with the whole pedigree dog thang - I'm a rescue mongrel lover myself - but I just wanted to throw in that there perfectly well could be people obtaining puppies in December who are not puppy-farm-using reprobates.)

Sorry for the derail. The answer to the friend obviously has to be no. Who budgets to cover someone else's Christmas as well as their own?!

Angrybird345 · 02/12/2017 17:33

Cheeky fucker! Just say no!

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 02/12/2017 17:35

"Sorry, can't do that, I paid the money over to the hotel on 10 November"

TidyDancer · 02/12/2017 17:45

It's not her money. The only way that would be the case would be if she had loaned you money for something and she was now asking for it back. She is effectively asking you for a loan with an emotionally manipulative agenda.

Tell her to fuck off. Or at least give a big fat no. And if you could slip in that she's a dumb fuck for giving a puppy for Christmas that would be an added bonus.

Cornishclio · 02/12/2017 17:46

I would definitely say no as you paid out for the hotel and presumably she still wants to come? It is also a terrible idea to buy a child a puppy for Christmas.

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2017 17:48

I don't understand how she can't see she is just asking for a loan. The holiday is neither here nor there

PNGirl · 02/12/2017 17:48

Tell her no. Would love to know how she plans to pay for unexpected vet bills if she can't afford the blood puppy itself.

Swipe left for the next trending thread