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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about this person calling in sick at peak time

217 replies

bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 10:26

Had a crazy busy week at work with a major project on. One of our team who has been very involved in all the planning for this project and was supposed to be supervising the completion of it has been off sick for the entire week with a cold. This has put massive pressure on our team, we would have been stretched even with that person, so without them it’s been very difficult. It has meant that everyone on our small team has had to put in loads of extra hours to cover her work between them. She could have helped out a bit by doing some work from home even if she couldn’t make it in but no.
The irony is, I know she is still going to expect the credit and the sales bonus in her pay packet this month. Even though the sales would not have been fulfilled without everyone else stepping in to do her work while she’s been off.
If the rest of us hadn’t done that work there’s no doubt we would have lost a number of important clients and that would have had a devestating impact on the business. Quite literally she would have put herself out of a job. She must be mightily naive if she hasn’t worked that one out.
Obviously it’s a time of year when coughs and colds are running riot, almost everyone I know has had something in the last month or so but most people know they can’t just drop out of life when they have a cold. But this person is the type to refuse to have a lemsip because they don’t like the taste, and won’t take a tablet either cos she can’t swallow it. It’s as if she actually enjoys being ill and wallows in it.
Personally, it would have taken hospitalisation for me not to come in to work this week. Firstly, I would feel absolutely awful if I let my colleagues and boss down at a crucial time. I don’t think I could face them afterwards knowing I’d left them in the lurch. Secondly, I’d hate to miss out on the satisfaction of completing this project that we have all worked so hard for, I could not bear to let it all go down the drain and see these clients walk away.
It feels a lot like she couldn’t be bothered or possibly couldn’t cope with the higher than usual workload this week so just bailed out and left everyone else to pick up the pieces. I’m going to find it hard to work with her when/if she manages to drag herself back in next week.

OP posts:
Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 13:07

Rookiemere, exactly why I vented here so that I didn’t risk blurting out something unreasonable face to face!
Those of you who can just rise above aggravating situations/people and not ruminate on it or let it affect you have my admiration.

OP posts:
HermionesRightHook · 02/12/2017 13:09

Now see that's the attitude my colleagues have OP and it makes us all happier.

Now she may learn to be better at the team work aspects if she's supported but she may not - that's up to her. As you're not her boss, all you can control is your attitude and reactions and this sounds like a really positive way to be at work.

wtf2015 · 02/12/2017 13:10

Either she was ill physically or mentally couldn’t cope with the stress of the week ahead of her. Either way YABU. Very unreasonable

HermionesRightHook · 02/12/2017 13:10

It took a bloody long time to learn and I'm still getting there bestfakesmile!

Slarti · 02/12/2017 13:10

we would have been stretched even with that person, so without them it’s been very difficult

So staff levels are set to barely cope with the work, let alone to cover illness. That's your problem. Well, that and your shitty attitude to humans.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 02/12/2017 13:14

I see you haven't got it after 130 messages but I'll add another YABU.

This thread has been really useful actually, despite my flaming grin
I realise now she is in totally the wrong role and industry for her personality type. This is why the issues keep occurring.

Interesting that what you take from this thread is more criticism of your colleague, and nothing at all about your own attitude and behaviour...

PinkyBlunder · 02/12/2017 13:16

*YNBU at all! I work in the NHS and we are not allowed to take a week off for a cold, it would be a disciplinary matter and not only that the entire workforce would be off for the whole winter.
The sick person wears a mask and takes precautions. *

I don’t know what trust this poster works in but I’ve worked in the NHS for several years and have never known this to be the case.

rookiemere · 02/12/2017 13:22

Bestfakesmile - I have this vision of the other mumsnetters at work.
"Oh Sharon's got a cold again. Oh and that means we'll all need to work until 7 each day this week. Oh poor Sharon, hope she gets better soon, hope she's well enough to enjoy her bonus " said with a head tilt and a sad smile. People aren't like that and I can't believe everyone is such an angel about their colleagues.

It's really obvious who's genuinely unwell and who's not and actually once you get beyond a certain level of non-attendance it doesn't matter as the net impact on the team is the same.

But yes glad you've learnt from my lesson ! Never accuse someone but do raise your concerns about your own workload and other colleagues without mentioning the root cause .

Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 13:24

Daily mail reader, I believe I have taken on board what people have said. The pattern of sick leave looked very suspiciously lazy but i am willing to look at it from another point of view and consider that it probably is because she just can’t cope with the environment, not everybody is equally suited to the same role/industry. I have willingly admitted that my first post was a tired and bitter rant. I have said I am going to look for ways to support her. I came on here in order to change my attitude and believe I have taken critisism on board without defensiveness.

OP posts:
Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 13:29

Rookiemere, I have a long way to go before I can be as saintly as sharon’s colleagues Halo

OP posts:
retirednow · 02/12/2017 13:33

Is anyone expecting you to look at it from another point of view and consider it may be because she can't cope with the environment because really it's actually nothing to do with you or anyone else. A colleague has gone off sick, that is a private matter for her and her manager. You feel it increased your workload, it happens.

poisoningpidgeysinthepark · 02/12/2017 13:37

I had to take a day off this week and I didn't even have a cold - I was just so snowed under with work I couldn't see another way out. It was either take a 'day off work' in order to get my head down and do shedloads of work at home, or throw myself off a railway bridge. The thing is, I couldn't tell my colleagues that, as the grief I'd have got from them would have made everything so much worse - I had to pretend to be ill. And actually I believe I was, just not in the conventional and accepted way.

lou1221 · 02/12/2017 13:39

Of course she should get her bonus, you say that she was very involved in the planning of the project, but unfortunately not the finalisation of the project, due to being ill.

I work in an environment where it is difficult for sick leave to occur, this week it's been rife, and you know that ppl are definitely ill, you need to focus on yoursrlf and not mean about someone who has clearly pulled their weight.

SheSparkles · 02/12/2017 13:45

Here’s your medal OP 🥇

Viviennemary · 02/12/2017 13:49

Can't believe people think it's fine to pretend to be sick because they need a break. Take some annual leave or get a part-time job. Don't rely on your colleagues to do even more work because they have their own work and somebody else's to do.

Pancakeflipper · 02/12/2017 13:50

I have some sympathy for you OP.
I had a colleague who used to be off work at crucial points. The time she phoned in sick on the day of a huge presentation and interview (but took her adult child to the cinema) and left me to deliver the entire 4hours is a day I will not forget.

I think some people do just hit a wall with stress of crucial points and hide under their duvets. And I feel for them but it's also crap being the ones to continue pushing it on under pressure.

JonSnowsWife · 02/12/2017 13:50

Can't believe people think it's fine to pretend to be sick because they need a break

and where's the evidence that she's pretending?

corythatwas · 02/12/2017 14:11

I came to this country thinking flu was proper influenza, the kind of thing that lays people low for a fortnight with a high fever, possible delirium, and a complete inability to do anything.

And that something that just gave you a temperature, a nasty cough and a streaming nose should be rightly be described as a cold.

I have learnt better after some very unpleasant conversations with my dc's schools. Now I call everything that comes with a rise in temperature or requires bed rest flu. It may be technically incorrect, but it's what people expect.

AbsentmindedWoman · 02/12/2017 14:12

The words 'team player' give me the dry heaves.

Iprefercoffeetotea · 02/12/2017 14:15

I've had a cold for the last two weeks. I have worked, other than the first weekday, but that was because I work from home. I could not have gone into the office last week with it, and it was "only" a head cold but I really didn't feel well.

Colds can be really nasty.

We are human, not machines. And as I said on another thread, even if you could get a machine to do the job, it would break down.

If she's been heavily involved in the planning of the project why shouldn't she still get her bonus? It sounds like she's still done plenty of work on it.

deste · 02/12/2017 14:15

I get it, I had a department manager who took a weeks holiday the same week as stocktaking every year. It took a few years to suss it out. It’s not as if she went anywhere either.

Ceto · 02/12/2017 14:18

YANBU. This thread is a perfect example of the MN tendency to follow the crowd on AIBU. If this person has a track record for exaggerating illness and skiving out when things get difficult, then it is entirely reasonable to believe that when she said it was a cold, a cold is what she has; and you shouldn't need to take a week off for a cold. It is of course possible that on this occasion she really was more ill than that and if so it is a classic case of crying wolf.

There really are people out there who take the piss in terms of claiming illness to skive off work, and it really isn't beyond the realms of possibility that OP's colleague is one of them.

OutComeTheWolves · 02/12/2017 14:18

I only had a cold that turned into a sinus infection. I felt absolutely rotten; I definitely couldn't have worked with it.

Neverender · 02/12/2017 14:22

I hate this sort of thing. She's a human. The normal reaction to being ill is to feel crap and like you've let everyone down. Which is probably how she feels. I can't stand all this 'bet she wasn't ill' stuff. Im sorry but can't you be kinder?

Neverender · 02/12/2017 14:23

And to add to that, your boss may have told you she had a cold but you have no idea what is actually wrong. One of my colleagues was off for two weeks with a sprain. Found out much later she was a victim of domestic abuse and he'd actually broken her arm. Stop judging.