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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about this person calling in sick at peak time

217 replies

bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 10:26

Had a crazy busy week at work with a major project on. One of our team who has been very involved in all the planning for this project and was supposed to be supervising the completion of it has been off sick for the entire week with a cold. This has put massive pressure on our team, we would have been stretched even with that person, so without them it’s been very difficult. It has meant that everyone on our small team has had to put in loads of extra hours to cover her work between them. She could have helped out a bit by doing some work from home even if she couldn’t make it in but no.
The irony is, I know she is still going to expect the credit and the sales bonus in her pay packet this month. Even though the sales would not have been fulfilled without everyone else stepping in to do her work while she’s been off.
If the rest of us hadn’t done that work there’s no doubt we would have lost a number of important clients and that would have had a devestating impact on the business. Quite literally she would have put herself out of a job. She must be mightily naive if she hasn’t worked that one out.
Obviously it’s a time of year when coughs and colds are running riot, almost everyone I know has had something in the last month or so but most people know they can’t just drop out of life when they have a cold. But this person is the type to refuse to have a lemsip because they don’t like the taste, and won’t take a tablet either cos she can’t swallow it. It’s as if she actually enjoys being ill and wallows in it.
Personally, it would have taken hospitalisation for me not to come in to work this week. Firstly, I would feel absolutely awful if I let my colleagues and boss down at a crucial time. I don’t think I could face them afterwards knowing I’d left them in the lurch. Secondly, I’d hate to miss out on the satisfaction of completing this project that we have all worked so hard for, I could not bear to let it all go down the drain and see these clients walk away.
It feels a lot like she couldn’t be bothered or possibly couldn’t cope with the higher than usual workload this week so just bailed out and left everyone else to pick up the pieces. I’m going to find it hard to work with her when/if she manages to drag herself back in next week.

OP posts:
EmilyChambers79 · 02/12/2017 11:33

Is this the same colleague you believe is gaslighting you?

SweetheartTreacleTart · 02/12/2017 11:34

YABU

JonSnowsWife · 02/12/2017 11:34

Sack her then. Or don't award her her bonus as she hasn't achieved her target.

She can't sack her Emily. The OP isn't the Boss. The Boss believes what cold woman has said and the OP is just pissed off at her for being ill. Stupid brazen snotnosed huzzy that cold woman she is.

rookiemere · 02/12/2017 11:36

Thing is if you're under the weather then it's a lot easier to struggle in when its BAU than it is when a big project is going live and you know your colleagues haven't got your back.

If she had come in she may have got things wrong from not being well and from your posting style I can't see anyone giving her any slack if she had dragged herself in.

it is annoying when others take the mick, but from bitter experience- stay out of it. You can call out the extra work you and others had to do unexpectedly but don't do any more.

Pengggwn · 02/12/2017 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmilyChambers79 · 02/12/2017 11:39

She can't sack her Emily. The OP isn't the Boss

Yep. I know. Read the rest of my post that you quoted me from.

I also pointed out she wasn't the boss and therefore it's none of her business.

Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 11:41

This thread has been really useful actually, despite my flaming Grin
I realise now she is in totally the wrong role and industry for her personality type. This is why the issues keep occurring.
Pp saying that they don’t like team work- she doesn’t, she likes to work on her own but unfortunately her role involves team work so problems keep cropping up when she’s working with others. These peaks involve extra team work so they are not only more work but more of the work she finds most challenging.

OP posts:
SallySmiley · 02/12/2017 11:41

Having worked with freeloading “sickly” colleagues who are only sickly when it’s time to do stuff they don’t want to, I’d be suspicious too OP.

My favourite was my colleague who was the other person in my two person role who had debilitating can’t-leave-the-house periods. Her periods were irregular in both duration and timing. All fine except they mysteriously only happened when big projects needed completing and lasted until the day after the deadline. And our male manager was too embarrassed to deal with it. I quit and she was sacked shortly afterwards when she was spotted out for lunch when supposedly too ill to work.

Not being able to swallow tablets is bullshit too. If you can eat you can swallow. And a whole week for a cold? Sounds like a special snowflake to me.

JonSnowsWife · 02/12/2017 11:47

I realise now she is in totally the wrong role and industry for her personality type. This is why the issues keep occurring.

I dont think its her that's in the wrong role.

JonSnowsWife · 02/12/2017 11:49

My favourite was my colleague who was the other person in my two person role who had debilitating can’t-leave-the-house periods. Her periods were irregular in both duration and timing.

Confused
ScrabbleFiend · 02/12/2017 11:51

She told us it was a cold, she told the boss it was a cold.

Yes and I told my boss I had a vomiting bug a few weeks ago when really I had an extremely heavy and painful period because my colleagues are nosy and quite frankly I don't want my problem menstruations being discussed in the staff room. You don't really know why she's been off.

happypoobum · 02/12/2017 11:52

Drip, drip, drip

You sound awful OP. You have no idea how ill this woman might be or what she may be going through. I have a colleague who had thirteen miscarriages and didn't want to share that personal info with colleagues so was off with "viral infections" etc.

If she really does have a viral infection/cold then her manager would be well advised to keep her away from the rest of the team so it doesn't knock everyone over.

You sound like a dream colleague...

Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 11:52

I actually do feel sorry for her now as her behaviour has come across really badly but I can see now that there might be another reason for the pattern. I think her telling me that others said she wasn’t a team player was her trying to tell me not to expect too much from her in that dept.

OP posts:
PinkyBlunder · 02/12/2017 11:53

Actually OP it’s probably you that’s wrong for the role. Sounds like you shouldn’t be working around other human beings at all

CheckpointCharlie2 · 02/12/2017 11:55

I've had a 'cold' all week and have dragged myself into work, now it's developed into nasty adult type croup and I've just had to go and get steroids from the out of hours, so if she felt anything like I have she did the right thing. I understand it's annoying but you do sound pretty mean.

ReanimatedSGB · 02/12/2017 11:55

I think if OP knows this workmate is a whiner and a leadswinger, she is not being unreasonable for venting. Some people are lazy, unreliable and like to play the victim. It's very tiresome to have one of these on your team.

WorldWideWanderer · 02/12/2017 11:56

I'm with you OP. I can't understand all the negative comments on here...the woman has a cold. Just. a.cold. Even if it was a bad one then one - or at the most, two - days is enough for a cold. You don't take a week off just for a cold. And all this nonsense about infecting others....the most infectious time is before the cold actually comes out plus the first couple of days you have it, after that it's far less infectious (unless you're actually kissing!)

I have an employee who is just like this. Every time there is a patch of real pressure, she goes off sick and others are left picking up her work. But she expects the credit all the same. It annoys me greatly because it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME and therefore there's a pattern of her doing this...and it's never anything serious, just a snuffly nose making her "not be able to sleep last night" or similar.
Annoys the bloody hell out of me.....

YANBU.....

EggysMom · 02/12/2017 11:57

Leave your boss to deal with whether she was genuinely ill or not, and whether she needed to take the whole week off or not. That's what bosses get paid to manage.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/12/2017 12:01

I’m sorry. I think it’s your behaviour that’s coming across badly. Perhaps it’s because you’ve communicated the issues very clumsily.

If you don’t want to keep being flamed, you do need to be clearer.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 02/12/2017 12:09

Odd that you choose to berate someone's tendency to avoid teamwork whilst at the same time highlighting that you aren't a team player.

You've no idea why she was off. I'd suggest focusing on your own work and spending less time and thought critiquing your colleagues.

FWIW if a business runs the risk of folding on the back of one person being ill for a week if think they were a bit of a shit show and I'd be looking for a way out.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 02/12/2017 12:10

You also sound like a bit of a narcissistic twat.

Original poster
bestfakesmile · 02/12/2017 12:13

Yep, I just re read my posts and I realise it was a drip feed. Sorry. The first one was a really tired and bitter rant!
I do actually think it has been very helpful though to have this discussion. I will certainly view her behaviour from a different viewpoint. I think I can help her out by supporting on some of her team tasks going forwards. Despite being a despicable human being Wink I would be delighted to see her doing well and being happy at work.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 02/12/2017 12:16

YANBU. One of the worse things about working was picking up the slack for folk always calling in sick with this that or the other. She shouldn't get the bonus IMHO. Maybe she was really ill. But maybe she wasn't. I'm with you OP.

gillybeanz · 02/12/2017 12:18

YABU she was off ill and you only know what you've been told. A person doesn't have to tell colleagues the truth, it's non of your business why they were off.

Too many people are too invested in their job and live to work, that's fine and these type wouldn't be off unless they were hospitalised.

There are others who work to live and it isn't that important to them.
Looks like you are both different in this sense.

IrritatedUser1960 · 02/12/2017 12:18

YNBU at all! I work in the NHS and we are not allowed to take a week off for a cold, it would be a disciplinary matter and not only that the entire workforce would be off for the whole winter.
The sick person wears a mask and takes precautions.
Clearly this person doesn't give a monkeys about her job. I'd be furious. Before the new sickness rules came in here people would be off every five minutes in winter, whole clinics were shut down week after week. Now it's business as usual. It's a cold not the 1918 flu epidemic.