Neighbors baby wakes me up

[kingat]

Hi, it is early Saturday morning and I am up again because the neighbors baby woke me up again. He is around 1.5 and still wakes up at least two times each night and gets up at 6. We are in terraced house and my bedroom is next to his nursery. He cries for them really loud, more like screams which is followed by them running to him and then some noisy shuffling. In themorning they seem to let him play in his cot for about 30mins and I can hear that, so cant go to back to sleep. He then runs around the bedrooms babling and they are talking loud and it is just very noisy. So my question is what can I do? AIBU to complain to someone? Who?

I get your frustration. I live in terrace and would drive me bonkers - I have kids of my own too lol. Earplugs and white noise machine works wonders.

What about soundproofing? Next door are having a baby soon and we’re planning of soundproofing the bedroom. They are both one bedroom properties so we can’t move rooms so thought we’d give it a try.

It's what happens in terraced houses
Can you not move rooms?

I second earplugs. We have a neighbour who leaves for work at 4am in his car every weekday. You can hear his feet on the path and the van starting up/defrosting, door slamming etc. It is unavoidable he will make some noise as he has to go to work! That is living with neighbours I'm afraid. They have a life to live too and a baby crying with them rushing to quiet him isn't unreasonable.

Sorry you are having to tolerate this OP, but think how the parents feel; THEY are the ones having to get up and they will probably feel bad about waking the neighbours too. I was very concious of it in our 3 bed semi when mine were little, but the young couple next door said they rarely heard our kids.

If the baby next door is 1.5 year's old, and is waking twice a night and at 6 a.m. I would imagine he/she is teething maybe? Whatever, it probably won't be long til he/she starts sleeping better. Could be half a year to a year though. And then there will be other noises like banging and knocking and loud laughing.

Is it an option for you to move to another bedroom? I second the idea of getting soundproofing. Maybe B & Q, or Homebase, or Wickes?

Also some kind of ambient sound? I do this when it's really windy, we put the fan on (pointing away so we don't get cold!) Then when we wake at 1am or so and the wind has died down, we turn it off.

It can be stressful getting no proper sleep, so you do need to address it, but from your side, as there is nothing they can do. Definitely consider soundproofing against the party wall. GOOD LUCK!

Reverse?!

As a new mum I used to worry about this contstantly. Nothing you or they can do.

We had awful trouble with next doors toddler! Not Their fault of course but still horrendous for us (was a lot worse than your describing here)
We bought these blue mouldable earplugs from boots which are amazing
But in the end we just had enough and when she told us she was pregnant again we decided to move
To a detached house

No more screaming children all night and day! Heaven

You have my sympathy OP. I have a similar issue with our neighbours' toddler and it's so tiring, especially when it's not your kid.

• earplugs
• make a camp bed downstairs for a few nights to catch up on sleep
• if they are otherwise good neighbours, keep reminding yourself of how much worse it could be. Do this every time the baby cries. Read some MN threads about drug addicts, parties, aggressive neighbours who fight and intimidate. The ones who steal from neighbours' gardens. This really helps me to keep a lid on any irritation, especially when I'm tired. Remind yourself that the baby will grow out of this soon.
• I've read about noise cancelling headphones but have never tried them
• white noise
• soundproofing the bedroom, although this takes a few cm off each wall. You could offer to split the cost of soundproofing the baby's bedroom too if they agree. A quiet bedroom might make the baby sleep better.
• Does your bed creak when you roll over or are there any pipe noises coming from your house? Check that there's no noise coming from your side that might wake the baby.

There’s nothing they can do about the night waking but OP says they leave him playing in his cot for half an hour at 6am then they are talking loud and he is running round the bedrooms.
If my youngest wakes up early, I wouldn’t dream of leaving him playing upstairs incase it woke next door up. One of us gets him downstairs as quickly and quietly as we can.

At least your neighbours go to him. Mine let their two year old cry if she wakes before 7:00- so we often have intermittent crying between 6 and 7. You hear the parents go in at 7 with a big bright good morning! While I’m thinking not been a great good morning for me or your crying toddler so far.

Here is what I did and you need to do, keep that kid awake as long as you can play music I your bedroom loud till 10:30 at least this will keep the kid up and instead of sleeping from 7-6 it will go from 11-10 or so.

I know parents like to put the baby down around 7 so they can have the evening for themselves but don't let them set the sleep pattern keep the baby awake till 11 and it will sleep in till midday.

My neighbours shout and scream at each other every night, which results in music getting put on really loudly. I'll swap you home if you like!

In all seriousness, there's not much you can do. Get some good ear plugs, do a bit of soundproofing, or move. Children are loud unfortunately and the mum can't do anything about it.

It's annoying but you can't complain.

None of that is over and above general living though.

Can you move bedrooms?

I think you could speak to them about leaving him to play in his cot and him running around, they could be a little more considerate there. You can’t say anything about the night crying though.

I'd start with wearing ear plugs and repositioning your bed if you can. The best ear plugs are the wax ball ones (Quies) IMO

Failing that, a padded headboard might help

Last resort - ask them if they can move the cot

Even a semi detached larger house with a bedroom on the outer wall may do. Doesn't even need to be detached. (Though that would be ideal of course.)

Even so, it needs to be the right one.

Someone I know has a detached new build, (2013,) and it's 3 feet away from both houses next door (it's a row of 5, and they are the middle one. ) They hear everything, even though it's detached, because they are so close, and the walls are so thin.

They hear the neighbours music, and kids and adults yelling and screaming, and babies crying, and even the tv when the windows are open. And these are DETACHED houses.

If I was going detached, it would have to be a good plot with no houses either side for at least 16 feet.

So as soon as he cries they go running to him to settle him down? Presumably so he doesn't wake the neighbours.

Move next to neighbours who party until 4am on weekdays when everyone else has still got work the next day. A crying baby will be a breeze in comparison.

YABVU. Invest in some earplugs.

Charlie

Also, OP, have you tried earplugs ?

I bet they are well aware already.

I live in a semi detached house with three children and do worry about bothering our neighbour. My 1.5 year old generally sleeps well but has had the odd night where he won't settle and he has a real scream on him.

8am isn’t really ‘early’ is it?

I’m with all the others who say it’s tough shit. There is nothing you can do about it in terms of reporting it. You can buy earplugs, move rooms, soundproof or move house.

I think the OP said 6am not 8am @FlouncyDoves

Who was you planning to complain to?

My husband woke me up this morning and I fully intend to put in a complaint about it later, and I’m with him out of choice.

YANBU, neither are they though which makes this a tough situation.

It’s normal life. Move your bedroom if you can, use 👂 plugs and remember that it is a phase that will pass.

Or move to a detached.