DP and I have been together a few years and this year we're going to spend a few days with each side of our families over Christmas. We don't live together and don't share finances. I earn more, but this year I lost my job, accrued debts, and then got a lower-paid job so I'm really struggling. He doesn't earn a lot but is a voracious saver and has a lot put by. I currently have about £250/month to pay for food, travel, etc (have been saving for Christmas for months though).
On my side, it's my single mother. On his it's his mum, dad, brother and SIL.
DP expects me to buy a present for each of his side, from a list. Each are about £30, so I'd be spending £120. My mother isn't so strict and he'll probably get her a bottle of £10 wine. I will get her more, probably spending about £100. I've budgeted all year to afford Christmas.
AIBU to think it's not fair that he expects me to spend more on his family than my own, and that he'll spend about 1/10th on my family compared to what he expects me to spend on his?
I've suggested we just get presents for our own families and say all gifts are joint, but he's not up for it (because it'd cost him more).
I don't want to look like a Scrooge by turning up empty-handed, but I really can't afford it without it seriously impacting on me next year. FWIW I'd happily not go to his family's, nice as they are, but it seems churlish to refuse when I would otherwise just be sat at home.