If you had a bone to pick with someone pregnant...

[FGSholdthedoor]

and I mean due date in the next 2 days pregnant.

If you only just found something out that upset you or made you angry with the pregnant lady, would you attempt to question and confront her before or after she had her baby?

Just trying to see if I am BU about something...

“DM I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re ranting about but I don’t need the stress of this two days before my baby is due.
I’m not going to engage or argue with you because it’s pointless, no matter what I say or do I’m wrong or being ‘controlled’- OK whatever, whatever validates your opinion.
I’m not going to reply again if you continue to send ranty, nonsense messages.

Then ignore if she continues or block her number for a while so you don’t have to read her bullshit.

Wow OP you could be me. I had a HUGE falling out with DM the day before I gave birth at 9 days overdue as apparently I was being distant. Yeah. No shit Sherlock.

Also getting grief during this pg. currently NC with F as if I speak to him I'll go off on one (and rightly so but I won't derail your thread with my woes).

I'd tell them all to get fucked and then block them. Easier said than done though unfortunately

Goodness me, they sound foul. They know exactly what they're doing. You're about to have a big, happy event in your life but they will be fucked if they don't cast a shadow over it.

How many times are you going to post about your parents and your husband issues? You never listen to advice and you won't do anything, so why bother?

I wouldn't expect my family to treat me with kid-gloves around my due date. And I'd be concerned if close family members thought my DP was controlling.
But, from other posters, it sounds as though there is a massive back-story here.

OP how crap is that. I think I would ignore your mum, and grandmother, and father. This is an issue (unless I have got it wrong) between your husband and his family. It is for him and them to sort out. Not you. Especially not now.

Either say nothing about it or say what Heartburncentral says...

"enough on your plate...heavily pregnant.. baby's health ...arrival of a new baby is a special time ... should be showing you love and support, not trying to stress you out." YOUR health is important and none of your family need to get in your face about this issue as it is between your dh and his family.

Re "This is also the DM that had a long rant at me, how I am with DS, OHs shortcomings and the situation and put on the waterworks about "going NC if she has to even though it would break her heart" because I said I MIGHT have to rearrange the day I was coming to visit as we needed to finish renovations and we're waiting for confirmation of when the workmen were coming. (Turned out they weren't coming on that day so I could've come after all) - I was 6 months pregnant at the time."

If your mum wants to go no contact just as a new baby arrives on the scene I would say that she has chosen to cut herself out of her new grandchild's life - and anyone willing to do so over such a trivial 'non-issue' may well not be someone you need to consider greatly.

If things are down to you I'd go low contact not no contact, let them come to you, if easier, or go to the only when convenient. Don;t expect help or support but also don't feel you need to give it. Focus on your own growing family and let the older generation work out exactly what they need to do to be part of your life.

"...what am I supposed to do at this point? she's asked me if there's "something wrong with me" and bad mouthed my OH to me. Am I supposed to pretend that didn't happen and call her all happy and inviting when her grandchild is born?"

No, just disengage, they are being difficult, treat them like children,praise the good and ignore the bad. This is bad.

You will never be able to have a healthy relationship with your parents and your DP at the same time. Trying to do so is simply damaging both relationships beyond repair, and if you're not careful you'll lose both. Personally I would side with your DP (although his behaviour as describe in previous threads seems less than stellar, also) but that's your decision to make. But things will continue in this vein forever if you don't make significant changes.

Your parents are toxic.

To the posters advising me to go NC - I know I've been given this advice before, and I have also explained why I am not willing to go down that route.
I have a big family over in my home country and amongst other things going NC will alienate me from the rest of them in the long run too, and I want my DC to know them.

I am constantly working on this and I have reduced contact already.

I have had no contact from either of them since the messages - but if I'm right my DF won't know she's sent them as she's used her private whatsapp rather than the group one that me, her and DF are on.

I have emotionally disengaged at the moment as I really don't want to get stressed out with the baby.

Sorry posted too early...

I have also decided I won't be instigating any contact at the moment unless it's an emergency.

I have spoken to OH as I'm a bit tired and he's taken half a day off as he's winding down in preparation for the new arrival anyway.
We took DS out for ice cream earlier to spend some time together as soon there won't be just the 3 of us anymore so we're making the most of these last precious days.
OH currently tucking in DS, cooking up a big meal for us tonight and brought home some lovely dessert and whipped cream that we can have later