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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if it’s strange to get engaged to someone you’ve known for 6 months?

45 replies

CitizinKant · 30/11/2017 23:45

A friend of mine has got engaged 6 months after meeting her partner but I’m a little concerned by how rapidly things have moved. They’ve set a date for 8 months time. Do you think this is too quick or AIBU?

OP posts:
Ceebs85 · 30/11/2017 23:47

It's quick but people have got maried a lot quicker than that.
Unless you have any genuine concerns/reasons to worry YABU

HirplesWithHaggis · 30/11/2017 23:47

Depends on their age and experience, I'd say. If they're teenagers, yes, way too fast. If they're in their eighties, not so much. Grin

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 30/11/2017 23:47

Depends on the people. My parents got engaged after 6 months and are still happily married more than 40 years later, exH and I got engaged after 5 years and the marriage only lasted 8. 🤷🏼‍♀️

LalaLeona · 30/11/2017 23:50

Got engaged to my now husband after 6 months just celebrates our 12 year anniversary and still happy

numbmum83 · 30/11/2017 23:51

I have a friend on my fb list who met July time and are getting married this month and just announced she's pregnant. But they seem happy so I guess you can only be happy for them and be there if it goes wrong . It might last forever and could last longer than someones rship who have been together 10 years .

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/11/2017 23:54

Dh and I were engaged 5 months after starting to date. We married 14 mo the after our first date. We've been together for more than 20 years. We were 26 and 30 when we met.

missiondecision · 30/11/2017 23:54

People who have long engagements still divorce
People who have known each for ages still divorce
Can’t really get too worked up tbh

ovenchips · 30/11/2017 23:58

I think MilkAndTwoSugars has it.

Plus it all depends on the longevity with benefit of hindsight. If they get married and stay married forever we will all think - how romantic was that to get engaged six months in? If they split after a short marriage we will all think - they got engaged and married far too hastily. But we won't know at the time of the engagement which way it's going to go. In summary: like all relationships, whirlwind or not, its future is decidedly unknown. Smile

TheWildOnes · 01/12/2017 00:00

I got engaged to DH 5 months after meeting, we got married less than a year later. Married 11 years so far.
Some people wait years to get engaged and still end up divorced.

haarlandgoddard · 01/12/2017 00:05

My parents were together for 10 years before getting married, divorced a year later. There’s no guarantees.

I think it’s quite romantic actually.

10kToBe · 01/12/2017 00:05

Harry and Meghan have only met 32 times and it's worked for them! Xmas Grin

StatelessPrincess · 01/12/2017 00:06

I think YABU, unless there is children involved.

Ollivander84 · 01/12/2017 00:12

My parents were engaged after 6 weeks Shock
Anniversary number 42 this year!

Flippingecktucker · 01/12/2017 00:16

My parents got engaged after 3 months, and married 3 months later. They've just celebrated their 60th anniversary, and I got married the same day in the hope I'll be as happy as they are!

recklessgran · 01/12/2017 00:17

Engaged after 5 weeks, married after 8 months. I was 20 he was 30.
41 years and counting - 5DDs and very happy.
When you know you know so no point in waiting in my view.

Singadream · 01/12/2017 00:21

I did. We are still married ten years later.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 01/12/2017 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kintan · 01/12/2017 00:23

My parents married 3 months after
meeting and had a long and happy marriage. My husband and I got engaged five months after we met and celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary this year. So I don’t think there is anything wrong with their timing - what is it exactly that is concerning you about your friend’s relationship? If it’s just the timing then not really any of your concern if they are happy I wouldn't have thought..

PaperdollCartoon · 01/12/2017 00:26

Less usual these days for sure - people are together much longer before choosing marriage now. But length of time together before marriage doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Everyone is different.
My aunt and her husband met and were married within 9 months - 33ish years on they seem perfectly happy. My parents were together for 7 years before marriage and their relationship is crap to say the least.

notangelinajolie · 01/12/2017 00:27

Not enough info. Age? Kids already? Is one of them much wealthier than the other? And lots of other stuff that could make a difference.

Charolais · 01/12/2017 00:30

My husband and I decided to get married on our second date. We were married 6 months after first meeting and we have been married 34 years. Sometimes you just know when you have met the one.

Orlandointhewilderness · 01/12/2017 00:30

my parents got engaged 6 weeks after meeting and married a couple of months later. still together 40 years in.
i got engaged 6 months after meeting, married a year later. seperated within the year and divorced.

who knows!!!

MammaTJ · 01/12/2017 00:31

I married someone I had been with for 7 1/2 months. We got engaged after 3 1/2 months!

We actually made it to 10 years of marriage, then he cheated on me, but I really don't think the speed of our marriage caused that, rather him deciding it was ok to be a cheating cunt!

DP, well, this will truly shock you. I decided that I had 'done everything right', as in got married and had DD1 two years later, I wanted another baby, but ExH did not.. I thought that I would get pregnant and have another baby come what may! I met DP in aol chat rooms. He came to meet me and yes, we did have sex the first night we met. I did fall pregnant! DD is now 12, and we are still together, coming up to our 13th anniversary. We also have a DS age 11. We have been through so much, he was and is a fabulous Step D to DD1. He is 'Grumpy' to her DD. I call him the one night stand who will not go away!

You know what, it might not work out. It might! Who knows! All that really matters is it is working for now and she is happy!

StarsAndStripes18 · 01/12/2017 00:37

My DH & I got engaged after 10 weeks when we were both aged 18.

22 years later we are still very happily married with 5 DSs.

Who are you to judge if it's too soon or not?
Some folks were quite nasty about us - they'll never last, she must be pregnant (I wasn't), too young, etc... Well, I'd like to think by now we've proved them wrong!
My mum & dad were delighted and believed in us! That is something I always hold very dear, that they had faith in us.

Atenco · 01/12/2017 00:37

My brother and SIL got engaged after 10 days and they are still together 35 years later.

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