Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel extremely guilty that I haven't done anything today??

34 replies

ethelfleda · 30/11/2017 16:52

DS is one month old (and is our first) and he just won't stop feeding the past couple of days! I've just looked at the clock... nearly 5pm and I have done nothing but breastfeed him and attempt to eat food in between!! I've eaten crap all day because I can't be arsed to make anything healthy. The house is a tip. I haven't made the bed. I've just netflixed all day and fed. And changed nappies. And fed. And fed some more. My spirit feels about as cracked as my nipples!!
I know I shouldn't feel guilty and I know this will pass but when I look around at what little I have achieved today, I feel so angry with myself. DS doesn't even seem satisfied after feeds like he used to.... He is either choking on it because it flows too fast for him or he is getting frustrated and ruining my nipples because there doesn't seem to be enough there for him!!!
Feeling like a bit of a failure today.

OP posts:
daisypond · 30/11/2017 16:54

You have done stuff - you've looked after the baby. Don't beat yourself up.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 30/11/2017 17:15

Thank you. Easier said than done. Feel rather lazy!

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 30/11/2017 17:18

You have a 1 month old, it's freezing outside. Sitting in the warm feeding and cuddling your new baby is a perfectly acceptable way to spend your day.

Jellybean2017 · 30/11/2017 17:21

Sounds very normal! Don't feel guilty 😊

chickenowner · 30/11/2017 17:21

I echo Daisypond - you've looked after a baby!!!

missfliss · 30/11/2017 17:21

We had days like this with non stop feeding and fussing, turned out to be growth spurts and the behaviour is specifically designed to stimulate breasts to produce more milk as baby’s tummy capacity grows. You may well find that tomorrow or the day after baby sleeps a lot more ( and you get a rest)

My son was actually punching my boobs at week 5! Turned out to be utterly normal and temporary.

It’s not a linear relationship ( establishing feeding) and honestly there will be days like this but they will start to become fewer and further between.

Sending love, you are achieving more than you know xxxCakeFlowers

fucksakefay · 30/11/2017 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickenowner · 30/11/2017 17:22

Which incidentally is more than I've done.

Today I have done...

2 loads of laundry
Made a cottage pie
Some knitting

...and that's about it!

I'm going to work tomorrow though Smile

supermanslefttesticle · 30/11/2017 17:23

You grew a human and now your body is feeding said tiny human. Sounds like a hell of an achievement to me :)

lightcola · 30/11/2017 17:23

Enjoy it. Soon there will be a time when you wish you could sit on your arse all day and watch Netflix.

OuchBollocks · 30/11/2017 17:25

Today I:
Went to the dentist
Did some driving
Made oven food for the 3 year old
And did a bit of bf'ing and nappy changing for the 8 month old

Barely.more than you OP and I don't have the excuse.of a cluster feeding newborn :) relax, enjoy.

frenchfancy17 · 30/11/2017 17:26

Enjoy it. Housework can wait and will still be there. Children grow up so quickly, cherish every moment xxx

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 30/11/2017 17:31

Sounds like the perfect way to spend a day with a newborn. You should you not feel guilty in the slightest, although I know it can feel strange to adjust when you are used to busy active working life when you’re running around all day. I hibernated with both of mine for the first few months and I remember it as one of the most special times of my life. Before you know it your DS is older and you’ll be rushing around trying to fit in work or running a house with school, play dates, shopping and homework. You will not regret one second of sitting still, bonding, snuggling and feeding. Enjoy it, and congratulations.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 30/11/2017 17:34

Thanks missfliss that's reassuring!! And I hope you're right about getting more sleep Grin
Not that I would swap him for all the sleep in the world of course. I'm just not used to being so sedentary.

OP posts:
slimyslitheryslug · 30/11/2017 17:51

Having worked hard & played hard pre-DC, I found it incredible how busy I could be doing nothing once I had DC. When DC1 was a similar age, it once took me three days to find time to walk the 300yds to the postbox as she was feeding or asleep on me when I couldn't face moving her or needed a nappy change or I was trying to get some food for me etc. I was expecting to gaze at DC1 in awe and wonder but I spent much more time being utterly bored and wondering how I had been so busy yet achieved so little. Even now there are days when I seem to do little other than chase around after the DC and they're 8 & 5!

CottonSock · 30/11/2017 17:54

I had days like this with my (first) newborn. It all changes weekly and so don't worry. A sling is great if you need or want to get things done though

Caroelle · 30/11/2017 18:42

You are not just feeding, the two of you are bonding. It’s crucial to a child’s development. You are meeting another human being’s entire physical and emotional needs. What is more important then that?

LadyMarmyLard · 30/11/2017 18:45

Go easy on yourself, you are doing a good job.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 30/11/2017 18:51

Thank you all. It is all worth it I know and I do love spending time with him. Was also treated to a huge grin this afternoon Grin
How on earth do people do this with twins?? Or with younger DC??

OP posts:
Bambamber · 30/11/2017 18:52

Sounds like you've done plenty, Cluster feeding is hard work! Don't worry about things like housework, just make sure you're getting plenty to eat and drink. Get a big bottle of water and some snacks to keep by you and enjoy some netflix

mummabubs · 30/11/2017 18:54

I have a 6 week old and apart from walk the dog for 20 minutes my day has looked exactly like yours! I was always quite active before DS came along so I am struggling with the new pace a bit. A friend recommended the Wonder Weeks app to me the other day and it's really good, has literally predicted DS's developmental leaps to the day and has helped me to feel better about days where all he wants is to feed, maybe give that a go?

Original poster
ethelfleda · 30/11/2017 18:58

mummabubs thank you - I will download that. We have the book as well which I have been reading this afternoon. I presume he is having a wonder week and a growth spurt at the same time?? The last few days he has been so much more aware of his surroundings! It is fascinating to watch (as well as hard work to meet all his needs!)

OP posts:
BelleandBeast · 30/11/2017 19:02

All normal, probably a growth spurt, you are doing great, nurturing a small human being.

My advice for those days long feeding sessions is
1.) Get in some easy to eat healthy snacks
2.) A jug of water
3.) Set yourself up on the sofa with a box set. Its cold outside, everything else can wait. I watched countless episodes of the Gilmore Girls when DD1 was that age, very happy memories!

Enjoy, DO NOT feel guilty, as before you know it he'll be walking and talking.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 01/12/2017 04:16

And we are still going. The witching hour is the absolute hardest. All he wants is to feed and i am so sore and tired and my head keeps filling with dark thoughts about how useless I am and I feel like I am failing! Even trying to get sympathy on an internet forum - how pathetic is that???

OP posts:
TheHodgeHeg · 01/12/2017 04:40

It's not pathetic! Do you have support around you at home?