To feel extremely guilty that I haven't done anything today??

[ethelfleda]

DS is one month old (and is our first) and he just won't stop feeding the past couple of days! I've just looked at the clock... nearly 5pm and I have done nothing but breastfeed him and attempt to eat food in between!! I've eaten crap all day because I can't be arsed to make anything healthy. The house is a tip. I haven't made the bed. I've just netflixed all day and fed. And changed nappies. And fed. And fed some more. My spirit feels about as cracked as my nipples!!
I know I shouldn't feel guilty and I know this will pass but when I look around at what little I have achieved today, I feel so angry with myself. DS doesn't even seem satisfied after feeds like he used to.... He is either choking on it because it flows too fast for him or he is getting frustrated and ruining my nipples because there doesn't seem to be enough there for him!!!
Feeling like a bit of a failure today.

Ethelfleda - this is all really normal. There's a lovely book called 'what mothers do' which you might find helpful.

Please don't give yourself a hard time for posting on here - I say thank goodness for forums like this where you can reach out to people who are either in a similar situation or have been through what you are going through.

Do you have a breastfeeding support group near you? It might be nice to talk to some other breastfeeding mums.

You are doing everything right- this is a tough stage but it will pass and seem a bit easier day by day.

Do you have a partner? I would encourage you to talk to someone about how you are feeling- health visitor too maybe?

It's really common to doubt your abilities. Have you come across Hurrah for Gin? She has some wise words about new mums and how it can seem like you are the only one struggling- you are definitely not though.

Take care and keep posting.

You are doing a fantastic job OP, taking care of a newborn is hard work and tiring, especially when they are having a growth spurt. Look at it this way - if you were instead working a full time job that would be for a mere 8 hours a day instead of 24!!
Your nipples shouldn't be as sore as I think you are describing though, is there a nearby lactation clinic you could attend? Or call the NCT breastfeeding helpline, most areas have lovely volunteers who will come out to you (and it's free).
Overall just focus on keeping loving that baby & everything else (which matters way less) will come together when it does.
I also second the recommendation for wonder weeks, helps keep us sane.

Is he latching on ok if you’re sore? Just a thought as maybe he isn’t getting the hindmilk if that is an problem which will make him hungry too.

If everything like that is ok then likely a growth spurt so just go with it lol.

Thanks for your replies. His latch is fine and when he isn't going through a growth spurt I don't get sore. He gets frustrated and starts pulling away, nipple still firmly in his mouth- this is what hurts. And I always make sure he 'finishes' on one side to get the creamy stuff. We had him weighed the other day and he is gaining fine so hopefully that isn't an issue. We do have local bf support groups but getting out of the house when DH is at work is such a mission - especially when sleep deprived- that I tend to just not bother when he is going through a fussy time.
Luckily, DH2is amazing and he had him this morning for an hour so I could sleep (he also has him for few hours before bed with a bottle of expressed milk so i can get a couple of hours in) I am very lucky to have such a supportive DH which probably makes it even worse that I am moaning about it all!

One piece of advice I was given was that the 'creamy stuff' actually comes more quickly than I thought, not right at the end - so don't stress about him having too much on either side.

Also, learn to love the netflix days. I miss them! Watch Jane the Virgin if you haven't already. It's absolutely brilliant!

Ethel the pulling away with nipple still in mouth is classic stimulating behaviour - small frequent feeds stimulate the breasts to produce more milk, more than long uninterrupted feeds. So during a growth spurt baby is very cleverly using a behaviour that's almost counterintuitive to most feeds to get your boobs 'up a notch' when people say breastfeeding is a relationship that's what they mean really! They don't mean that bottlefeeding isn't a relationship, they mean more that babies are active in getting your physiology to do what it needs to. Partners if you will. It's very clever and symbiotic

Ethel I remember those days so clearly and my eldest is now 21! Be kind to yourself! I found it helped to get a little bit of fresh air every day, even just putting baby into the pram and walking to the end of the road and back helped, gradually moving onto longer walks as he got bigger. helped shift the baby weight too but thats another thread!

Enjoy your baby time - it goes so fast. And if you get bothered by the 'mess' set little tasks for yourself - eg after the next feed I will put a load of washing on.

missfliss thanks for the info- I didn't know that. It really is interesting!

Blobby I have actually mastered the sling today so think I will be getting out for a walk in a bit as the sun is out