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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look after a friends child for three days?

44 replies

Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:45

Well exactly as it says in the title.

Friend of two years ( have kids at same school) has asked if we can look after her child for three days and nights.

One night I see no problem but three seems a lot. My dd does not get on well with her child as she is pretty hard work. Sulking, complaining, always hungry. It is ok for a bit but three days.

We don’t have much room for her either as I am staying with my parents.

Friend is going to a concert and a selling conference for her job. I mean I would if she was in hospital or something. I also would for my sisters kids and my best friends children.

AIBU?Would you?

OP posts:
HolyShet · 30/11/2017 14:05

Yes for a good friend if
1 enough room
2 kids got on
3 own workload permitted

Yes for more or less anyone even if the above didn't apply in real emergency (ie not CFWork)

I think you should say no OP and blame your parents (make sure they will corroborate).

Oblomov17 · 30/11/2017 14:06

I would do it if child was easy. Ds2's 2 closest friends, say. From what you describe. No.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 30/11/2017 14:08

If my child liked the other and they were an easy child then yes but in your circumstances no. There are friends kids I can only be around in small doses and 3 days of them would drive me round the bend.

greeeen · 30/11/2017 14:10

That would be a no from me!

tryxilaflap · 30/11/2017 14:14

Nope

MikeUniformMike · 30/11/2017 14:17

No. Do it once and you'll be doing it for the next 10 years.

If it was an emergency, then yes, but it isn't.

ifonly4 · 30/11/2017 14:18

I don't think it's fair to impose on your parents, but they maybe the easygoing type who'd love another child in their house for all I know.

I don't know what age group the child is, but I'd only do it anyway if the child generally got on well with mine and would fit in with my family's lifestyle.

Lindy2 · 30/11/2017 14:18

No - not unless it was a very serious emergency. (which it's not)
It would be a big favour to ask family let alone a friend of just 2 years.

KERALA1 · 30/11/2017 14:21

My friend had ours for 2 nights when my in laws pulled out Hmm. Was for family wedding - we felt it was a big ask and got them voucher for dinner out.

BattleaxeGalactica · 30/11/2017 14:21

Not unless it was an emergency hospital job and there was literally no-one else who could do it.

The circumstances you describe OP will drive you insane inside of five hours. Guaranteed.

GherkinSnatch · 30/11/2017 14:23

I wouldn't.

A concert and selling conference? Is her job one of those Aloe Vera/Makeup schemes?

expatmigrant · 30/11/2017 14:35

Good friends and family yes, wouldn't be a problem at all...acquaintance and DD not really being friends. No sorry

LifeofClimb · 30/11/2017 15:21

I was going to say, I would but not right now as I'm temporarily living with my parents Grin

Then I see you're in the same boat. So, there's your answer...

Sludgecolours · 30/11/2017 16:50

I have had the dc of close friends (and godchildren) stay with us for family and language exchange reasons (we live abroad) - usually for about 5 days each during the summer - and I can vouch for the fact that it is very tough going when the visiting child doesn't get on with your own child or vice versa. Totally different kettle of fish when they do! These visits are usually reciprocated though so it's a bit of a different thing.

I also had a close friend's child stay for a week when her parents were going through a bit of a family crisis and I was happy to do it because it was an emergency.

I don't think I would do it any other circumstances though, and as I said, I think it is a bit cheeky of your friend to ask. I know people say "well if you don't ask etc ..." but sometimes I think the mere act of asking can make people feel very obligated and put upon and guilty when they refuse.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/11/2017 16:56

No sorry. I am staying with my parents, so no I can't.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/11/2017 16:58

It is not urgent, so no. If it one of my close friends kids, it was an emergency, in a heartbeat.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 30/11/2017 16:58

Not in someone else house I wouldn't, that's not fair on them.

I'd help out a friend if they were in hospital but not for three nights for a concert. When you have children you make sacrifices or pay for childcare not dump them on others.

TheVanguardSix · 30/11/2017 17:02

Nope.

Happily for one or two nights, especially if it's a family crisis- as many nights as needed, in that case.

But I've learned the hard way that once they take you for a fool, they'll take you for a fool every 5 minutes.

Say yes and you'll be making a rod for your own back.

Hatsoffdear · 30/11/2017 17:46

No no no

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