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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look after a friends child for three days?

44 replies

Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:45

Well exactly as it says in the title.

Friend of two years ( have kids at same school) has asked if we can look after her child for three days and nights.

One night I see no problem but three seems a lot. My dd does not get on well with her child as she is pretty hard work. Sulking, complaining, always hungry. It is ok for a bit but three days.

We don’t have much room for her either as I am staying with my parents.

Friend is going to a concert and a selling conference for her job. I mean I would if she was in hospital or something. I also would for my sisters kids and my best friends children.

AIBU?Would you?

OP posts:
Narnia72 · 30/11/2017 13:47

No!

upperlimit · 30/11/2017 13:50

No. Best friend or family, as you say, yes. In an emergency, ok. Otherwise, that is cheeky fucker territory.

Mrsdraper1 · 30/11/2017 13:50

Depends on the reason. If her prev childcare arrangements had fallen through due to some major catastrophe and she was definitely not a CF then I probably would.

BikeRunSki · 30/11/2017 13:51

No! And if you are staying with your parents it’s teally up to them anyway.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 30/11/2017 13:52

No, she is taking the piss. It's a big ask even if your children were very good friends, but this isn't something you should ask a casual, school mum friend unless it is an emergency.
It will drive your own child nuts and you will have a very difficult 3 days because you will be constantly reinforcing your house rules and dealing with the fact that hers are completely different.

pallisers · 30/11/2017 13:52

not in your circumstances - you don't have space and their child doesn't get on with yours. I have in the past had friends of my children stay for a few days so their parents could go on a special holiday.

Butterymuffin · 30/11/2017 13:53

I would say you don't have the room and can't impose any more on your parents. Where is the kids' dad in all this?

expatinscotland · 30/11/2017 13:53

NO! And hello? You are staying in your parent's house. Don't they get a say?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 30/11/2017 13:53

Missed the bit where you said you were staying with your parents. That's your perfect excuse to decline easily. Only a true cf would expect you to take their child to your parents for 3 days!

expatinscotland · 30/11/2017 13:54

'Sorry, can't do it, not enough room.

Sludgecolours · 30/11/2017 13:54

Bit cheeky to ask under those circumstances tbh

Frustratedboarder · 30/11/2017 13:54

No way! Easy to decline in your current circs as well - just say you wouldn't like to impose on your folks, unless she's pally with them enough to ask herself Should do the trick!

rcit · 30/11/2017 13:54

no not in the situation you describe
You are at your parents’ house!!
Which is a great excuse not to do it.

lionguard · 30/11/2017 13:55

Nope. I would barely ask my sister for three days and nights.

Way too long. If the kids don't get on I wouldn't even agree to one night

Kentnurse2015 · 30/11/2017 13:55

Why are there 2 of these threads?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/11/2017 13:55

Yup definitely no. No room, not your home. No.

Stompythedinosaur · 30/11/2017 13:56

Not if they didn't get on with my dc and it wasn't an emergency.

I would if the kids got on or if in dire need.

fuzzywuzzy · 30/11/2017 13:57

Would you even have some? What do your parents think of this additional proposed person in their household?

I wouldn’t as it’s not your husband use to open to other people, your dc does not get on with this persons dc, this person has presumably known for a while she’ll need to arrange childcare, why hasn’t she?

It’s a massive ask.

Under the circumstances I wouldn’t.

rightsofwomen · 30/11/2017 13:57

My good friend has looked after my son (8) a couple of times for that period of time (split over a week actually, 2 days and then another).

She offered after some discussion of what childcare I needed while I was away travelling for work. I am a single Mother with a very difficult relationship with my ex (DS's dad) and she has been a great support for me, both emotionally and in a practical sense.

Her son and mine get on well and DS loves going over there.

I don't think for a minute she's telling anyone I'm a CF. I have made sure that she knows I value our friendship hugely and would never place any expectation upon her. She knows she can say if it's not working out.

fuzzywuzzy · 30/11/2017 13:59

Room not some
House not husband
God I hate my phone

tinysparklyshoes · 30/11/2017 14:01

In an emergency yes. For that, no. And its not your house to have people to stay in anyway.

NameChanger22 · 30/11/2017 14:02

I would. I like to think I would help my friends wherever possible .

I might expect a contribution towards the cost of the food, although I wouldn't ask for it.

DJBaggySmalls · 30/11/2017 14:02

I have done; but I wouldn't if they're hard work and dont get on with my lot, no.

SausagePerfume · 30/11/2017 14:03

I maybe would. Depends on circumstances.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 30/11/2017 14:04

I would do it if it was a rare occasion and the kids get on and the child wasn't hard work.

Otherwise no, I don't do favours for people that will be a total inconvenience for me.