AIBU to send Christmas cards to people I know won't send them back?

[FEJ2016]

So a few people I know don't send Christmas cards any more. Either they have done the big fb post 'we're giving to charity' or they're just not into sending cards, but I absolutely LOVE sending Christmas cards to everyone I care about to wish them a merry Christmas. I'd like to send them one too even if they're not going to reciprocate. I'm one of those annoying people who makes their own card with a festive picture of their own baby on
I'm not remotely offended if they don't send one back, but last year I got a couple of messages on fb saying 'thank you for the card but we did say we're not sending them this year'... does that mean they don't want one at all even if I am? I don't want to offend people I just want to spread Christmassy joy

I honestly never heard of anyone doing a charity donation till I came on MN.

Heard lots of people saying "environment" but not charity.

I stopped sending them a few years ago. I felt like I was just sending cards to XYZ because I was 'obliged' too and they were probably doing the same. Some people still send some, which I do find a bit hard to understand given that it's obvious I'm not sending them one any more? These were people I wouldn't see from one end of the year until the next. This year I'll be giving (not sending) three cards, one to DH, one to my aunt and one to a very close friend.

Wow lots of different opinions here!
This may be naive of me but I genuinely had no idea there were people who threw away their Christmas cards as soon as they receive them... the thought makes me a little sad. I love putting my cards up and I feel like each card is a little Christmas hug dropping through the letterbox.
I'm really into Christmas though. It seems like some on here aren't at all!

@FEJ2016 I'm into Christmas! I am.

I am just not into traditions for the sake of traditions, and Christmas cards are a relatively new phenomenon that has had its time and its fading.

If you were my friend, I'd much prefer a real hug than a card through the post.

Well, I'm not religious and even if I was, I wouldn't see that as a reason for it to be the nightmare consumer fest it is now. Some of the shopping threads are eye opening.

if it's just about spreading light and love at a dark time of year, it doesn't need all the unpleasantness that goes along with it. So rather than invite neighbours etc for a drink I just do it at a different time of year, then say "we don't do xmas" and that makes life a lot easier.

I also think it's awful how essential services close down etc - they were open in the past - and it's all "we deserve a Xmas too". I'm not relgiious, always happy to work Xmas but now it seems like everything important shuts down to celebrate a commercial fabrication. I thought it would get a bit more normal but it just gets worse every year.

Remember a couple of years ago there was a big storm? And there were people who were without electricity and it was just "oh well it's Xmas Eve, no way will you get power back till Dec 27th at the earliest".

doesn't sound much of a good spirit to me.

I really want to enjoy receiving cards, even if I haven't sent them one, but the truth is, they often make me feel bad. Every year. It seems wasteful and it reminds me why I haven't sent them one. Eg. I'd love to have got to know that relative but we can't stand her husband and don't know how to tell her and I feel bad about that as she seems really nice, or, why do they send me a card with "lots of love" in it when they didn't invite me to their wedding and we never hear from them? Cards like that go straight in the recycling in my house. I enjoy the genuine ones but tbh the whole thing seems a bit fucked up to me. I mean, if you really love people, you see them or at least Skype them on Christmas so why do they need a card too?

I like your vibe though, OP. I'm sure I'd love a card from you.

Yes, YABU.

Christmas cards are an environmental disaster. I understand sending them to loved ones who would be upset not to get one (thinking of my mother here, who values a card above presents) but sending them to people who don't even care? No, not on.

I can get quite low around Christmas and I love getting cards. To me it's a little, visible sign that people have thought of me and taken the time to send it. Some of the people in my life live far away and have busy lives so we don't get to see each other much, or I'm just not up to socialising. Others don't do cards anymore so I just exchange with the ones who want to. I have a few meaningful ones I have kept, others get recycled into gift tags or other projects for next year.

I like what you said about Christmas hugs. It's a lovely way to describe it. @FEJ2016

We don’t send any now. But seeing your post user I feel guilty now.

hats, maybe check how people feel.

I get very down at this time of year with Nov/Dec being the worst of it. The cards just make me feel worse.

This may be naive of me but I genuinely had no idea there were people who threw away their Christmas cards as soon as they receive them... the thought makes me a little sad. I love putting my cards up and I feel like each card is a little Christmas hug dropping through the letterbox.
I'm really into Christmas though. It seems like some on here aren't at all!

Christmas doesn't mean anything to me, I didn't grow up celebrating it (raised Jewish) and I get that it's a thing that other people love, but I don't like all the hullabaloo that surrounds it. It's a sad time of year now as an adult so I don't have any interest in it myself. DH isn't Jewish but he had a shitty childhood and didn't have amazing Xmas memories. If we had children then we would of course celebrate it - magic of Christmas and all that. But we can't have children, and we've lost parents, so it's just a reminder of what we don't have. I would rather get a text from someone at another time of the year because they were actually thinking of me and wanted to say hello, than a Christmas card with no message that's sent just because it's the done thing. I open them and then write down who I have to send a card to because otherwise I'll look like a shit for not sending one, then it goes in the recycling. I keep cards sent with personal messages at other times of the year. But a factory line Xmas card that's been written as one in a line of a big pile of cards because 'that's what you do', that isn't special for me

As I say, I don't begrudge anyone else celebrating Xmas. I don't think it shouldnt be a lovely time of the year for others, just because it isn't for me. But I can't wait till it's over and life goes back to normal

Battleaxegalactica - that is exactly how I feel too. I think this may be the year I go cold turkey ! I'm feeling brave and what's the worst that can happen ? The sky will not fall in.

Oh I didn't mean it that way Hats, I think I worded it badly. Sorry!

If people don't want to send cards that is fine, other people can if they want to. Everyone does stuff differently, I just wanted to say people can really appreciate them too. There are lots of ways to show people you care. My DP hates cards with a passion. Some of my friends don't like them either so we don't do them. We send emails, texts or whatever they are happy with.

I ask most of mine if they want to do cards that year or they ask first. I find that easier than second guessing myself or last minute panics when one gets here late. I wouldn't want to upset somebody by accident either. Will stop waffling now