AIBU to send Christmas cards to people I know won't send them back?

[FEJ2016]

So a few people I know don't send Christmas cards any more. Either they have done the big fb post 'we're giving to charity' or they're just not into sending cards, but I absolutely LOVE sending Christmas cards to everyone I care about to wish them a merry Christmas. I'd like to send them one too even if they're not going to reciprocate. I'm one of those annoying people who makes their own card with a festive picture of their own baby on
I'm not remotely offended if they don't send one back, but last year I got a couple of messages on fb saying 'thank you for the card but we did say we're not sending them this year'... does that mean they don't want one at all even if I am? I don't want to offend people I just want to spread Christmassy joy

I don't send cards but I love receiving them and am always grateful when I do. I love how the house looks all Christmassy with lots of cards up!

I don't announce smugly that I'm not sending them though..

I'd much rather get a phone call or an email than a card. They all go in the bin in the end!

I take "we're not sending cards", at face value - people have decided through cost, lack of time, environmental concerns or just because they don't see the point, not to send cards themselves. It would never occur to me to interpret that as 'and I would really rather not have a card from you'! Why would it?!

i love them. i send them, unless someone specifically says don't. yes i'm sure we would all rather talk on the phone etc, but honestly, do we?! you can't put an email on the mantle and i keep mine until next christmas then go through them again.

"I also struggle to fathom why people say about the 'environmental impact.' Most peoples cards are recycled every year, so that makes no sense. "

um....well here, there's a battle with recycling collections at Xmas and the local recycling centre struggles too. So a lot will end up in the bin.

also some cards are made with part plastic that's not going to be recycled or decompose and a lot will have plastic glitter or other tat parts on them that will end up choking some poor sea animal.

so the environmental point is totally valid.

I’ve never told anyone I’m not sending cards. I imagine they figure it out when they don’t get a card!

I think it's so rude putting cards straight in the recycling bin, or dumping them in a drawer when people have been kind enough to send you one, as you 'only want to display cards from people close to you!' So you don't want cards on display if they are from people who are 'only colleagues.' (Or neighbours or acquaintances!?) What a miserable attitude!

WTF is wrong with people these days? This attitude, along with the attitudes on another thread where people think it's OK to charge family members when you invite them for Christmas dinner, makes me wonder what kind of cold-hearted place the world is becoming.

Maybe people should make it very clear that they don't to send them, OR receive them, so peoples kind effort are not snubbed.

I thank God that the family and friends and neighbours and colleagues in my life don't have this awful 'self, self, self' mindset.

@RunningOutOfCharge

people STILL send cards, in this day and age......?'

YES.

I think it's so rude putting cards straight in the recycling bin, or dumping them in a drawer when people have been kind enough to send you one, as you 'only want to display cards from people close to you!' So you don't want cards on display if they are from people who are 'only colleagues.' (Or neighbours or acquaintances!?) What a miserable attitude!

WTF is wrong with people these days? This attitude, along with the attitudes on another thread where people think it's OK to charge family members when you invite them for Christmas dinner, makes me wonder what kind of cold-hearted place the world is becoming.

Maybe people should make it very clear that they don't want to send them, OR receive them, so peoples kind efforts are not snubbed.

I thank God that the family and friends and neighbours and colleagues in my life don't have this awful 'self, self, self' mindset.

@RunningOutOfCharge

people STILL send cards, in this day and age......?'

YES.

'Cold hearted'

'Self,self,self'

You buy this crap and then do what with it?? Most cards can't be recycled anyway! So that's selfish and cold hearted right there!

Going by this thread alone it seems like it's dying out.... thank fuck for that!

Maybe people should make it very clear that they don't want to send them, OR receive them, so peoples kind efforts are not snubbed

I don't display any Christmas cards - would it be considered more rude to just accept a card gracefully and chuck it in the recycling (which they don't know about), or to write them a card and say 'please stop sending any (implication being 'I don't want your cards')?

I'm sure the latter would be received very rudely, if someone thinks they're doing a nice thing, it's neither party's fault if the receiver doesn't like receiving cards

All cards go straight in the bin unopened in our house too unless they are homemade by a child or from people who actually write something in their cards. I don't write cards but I do make sure I email or phone people over Christmas to stay in touch. If you only sign and post a card, its not that much effort really. I find it superficial.

I love giving and recieving my cards. Any that I recieve are always displayed along my hall stairs. I really miss it now that card sending is in decline, although I really do get the cost of it. I've gone from sending about 120 to just 70 last year. I buy second class stamps to keep the costs down. I keep my cards as well for a couple of years then recycle them after three or four years. I always go back to them to make sure I haven't missed anyone from the list, and its always nice to have the last card someone sent you - I've got a few aunts and uncles who haven't made it another year and it is nice to smile and shed a tear when you glance back over the old ones. I always find there's someone who sticks their new address on them as well - and I never get round to putting them in my address book at Christmas time!

"Maybe people should make it very clear that they don't to send them, OR receive them, so peoples kind effort are not snubbed"

well we try very hard and people give them to us anyway - look at the question asked by the OP!

so what is the difference if it's up on the door (very limited space here) or on a surface getting in our way, or straight in the recycling where it will go anyway?

I love sending cards and receiving them

Why can't cards be recycled? Never heard that before.

All cards go straight in the bin unopened in our house too unless they are homemade by a child or from people who actually write something in their cards. I don't write cards but I do make sure I email or phone people over Christmas to stay in touch. If you only sign and post a card, its not that much effort really. I find it superficial.

This begs the question of how do you know if there is a written message, or indeed a cheque or invitation, if the cards get dumped unopened? This seems churlish in the absolute extreme.

I love to send and receive some beautiful cards at Christmas but do hate it if it’s someone I’ve not seen for ages and there is no personal message at all. Then it feels like a tick box exercise.

And I’m virtually certain cards are recycled. Some of the supermarkets collect hem specifically.

I didn't say cards couldn't be recycled
I said a lot of people won't bother recycling them, which is different.

and glitter and plastic etc etc cause problems with recycling anyway....cards can be recycled....

"That is, unless they have foil or glitter on them. If you’ve got a fancy card with a foil section or a glittery area, it’s best to throw it in the landfill bin – it can’t be recycled in the usual way and turned into useful paper."

from

www.envirowaste.co.uk/blog/articles/can-cant-recycle-christmas/

All cards go straight in the bin unopened in our house too unless they are homemade by a child or from people who actually write something in their cards

If it goes in the bin unopened, how do you know it hasn’t been handmade/handwritten by a child? How do you know it doesn’t have a personal message in? How do you know it doesn’t have cash/a cheque in?!

Why can't cards be recycled? Never heard that before.

I am sure cards are recycled.

Yes they are recycled. No idea why someone would have the idea that they are not.

If it goes in the bin unopened, how do you know it hasn’t been handmade/handwritten by a child? How do you know it doesn’t have a personal message in? How do you know it doesn’t have cash/a cheque in?!

Exactly. Bizarre attitude.

There are so many outlandish exaggerations on here some days though, that I doubt people actually do just chuck them anyway. I don't personally believe anyone would do that.

What kind of person takes a card off someone, then just bins it without even looking at it? What a nasty thing to do.

Dangermouse "Yes they are recycled. No idea why someone would have the idea that they are not."

I'm officially invisible

bit puzzed by the idea that people don't open envelopes, you have no idea what might be in there.

Of all the environmental crimes and dangers in this world, Christmas cards would seem to me to be low down on the list!

I just think a lot of people can't be bothered, the stamps are expensive, and increasingly there are the "extremely tidy" tribe who have a fit of the vapours if something in their house doesn't match .

And the "I'm giving to charity instead" brigade - yeah, right.

I have cut down on cards, but always send to elderly relatives and old friends and colleagues. I think it's nice to show you've spared a thought for someone.

I hate both writing and receiving Christmas cards. The only people I would send them to would be my loved ones I see often. It seems rather strange to write happy Christmas when I could say it instead.

I don't put any up, they give me the right hump so would be happy to never receive another one.

But I don't much like Christmas these days.

I don't sent any. I got my first one this morning - and it's still NOVEMBER. Straight in the recycling.

I also struggle to fathom why people say about the 'environmental impact.' Most peoples cards are recycled every year, so that makes no sense.

This is very shortsighted. Trees are cut down. To turn the trees into paper then requires large amounts of water, bleaching chemicals and electricity. The blank, white card is then flown/driven/shipped somewhere else where yet more power and chemicals are used to process it into card. Cards are then shipped/flown/driven to the retailer's distribution centre. Then driven in another lorry to the local store. Someone buys them, and probably drives them home. Then they're sent by mail and go in another lorry to be driven around the country.

But that's all FINE because someone may, or may not drop them into a recycling bin.

I would love to have the balls to just stop sending cards other than to elderly rellies. No big announcement, straight cold turkey. One day it'll happen

I don't like receiving them either. Flappy nuisances that drop to the floor like a swooning victorian heroine at the slightest waft

Luna - exactly.

Battle - honestly, the reaction when you stop sending cards is fine. Probably everyone comes on to MN to moan about you but that's all!