Dh treated himself to £400 the month before Christmas

[Evilstepmum01]

Aibu? Dh just announced he's treated himself to a brand new phone. Fine, his old one is crap but still in contract. Finally managed to get price out of him. £400.
For context, due to his debt, I usually take out loans for things like our car, washing machine, and 2 months ago, a brand new bike for him. Both our wages service the repayments and bills etc , so it is fair.
I can't help but feel pissed off. He's used his savings to buy it, but I don't know how much he has in savings, despite him claiming it's our money.
My bonus pays for Xmas, buys presents for our dc and dsc , which is fine. Aibu to be cross he has spent this money on himself so close to Xmas when we should be saving our money for kids presents?
Or am I controlling?

He sounds a rather selfish unreasonable arse! Wow just wow!

If you each have your own savings and enough between u to buy xmas presents then it's up to him how he spends his money that he has saved

Yanbu, that's his Christmas present and some . You can't continue to live off debt and minimum payments long term.

I'd be furious too. And if it's family money like he says then he shouldn't have problems showing you the bank balance ? Or putting it all In a joint account?

Xmas does put people in spending mode..but he's being selfish !

He has savings and you take out loans?? You don't know his financial situation?

I think december tat is the least of your problems.

He’s not open about his finances? I’d be wary. I’d also be anger that he’s spent such a large amount and you’re taking loans out.

Not if she is funding Xmas and presents on her own Allthewaves!

Are you going to have 400 to spend on yourself OP? No? That's your answer then, the selfish arse.

Am I missing something here? How does he have savings but also enough debt that you're having to factor in repayments? Or do you just mean his credit rating is shot?

Either way, you need to sit down and have a proper, thorough conversation with him about money - what's coming in, where it's going, what you both have access to and what your priorities are.

I never understand this ‘his/her money their choice’ argument. If you’re in a long term relationship/ marriage then surely all finances are pooled and joint.

My wife and I have our own savings accounts (ISAs) but we each know what’s in the them and that the money is, in reality, jointly owned.

At least when his contract is up he can change over to an £8 a month sim only deal.....

He has savings and you have none?

Excellent point specialsubject, thanks!
Sorry, I meant his credit score is shot.
We'll be having a serious chat later.

It's meant to be joint savings. Forgot, our car needs work this month also which should come out of savings. Hoping there's enough left for that

For context, due to his debt, I usually take out loans for things like our car, washing machine, and 2 months ago, a brand new bike for him.

The first two are necessary. Was a brand new bike for him a necessity?

I wouldn't be doing that in future.

What sort of goodies and treats do you get?

Really selfish! And to not even discuss it with you before hand is disgusting. If he has over £400 in savings why have you not used that money to pay off some of the debts anyway?

Nope don't see an issue with it .... if your DP works hard and wants to treat himself why the hell not ....

Flouncy - there's no right or wrong way as long as both parties are happy with it. Whenever this subject come up posters seem to think everyone else should do it like they do.

In this case whatever the arrangement isn't working for the OP and on the face of it the DH sounds like a selfish arse.

Where did the savings come from OP?

A new washing machine probably costs less than his new phone. If they're having to take out loans for the washing machine, they can't afford the expensive phone and he should get a much cheaper one.

He is out of order spending £400 on a phone if you are expected to take out loans for essential things. I'd be furious too. Don't take out any more loans on his behalf. And say he has to still pay half for all Christmas presents. He should have used his savings to pay off the loans first.

Hmm, what's yours is everyone's, but what's his, is his. Nice :(

Hope your chat goes well.

You both sound appalling with money. He has debts and spends on himself, you take out loans left right and centre.

Why does he have any savings when you are servicing debt? It's pointless.

both of you need to sit down and discuss financial health. sounds like you are close to being out of control with spending and debt.

Why on earth are you taking out loans to buy necessities like washing machines and car repairs when he has savings? And if you have debts to pay, then new bikes (unless necessary for work travel) and flashy phones are out of the question.

It sounds as though you are being financially stitched up here.

Best of luck, he has you rack up debt and then spends on himself, sounds a real catch.